Lesson #15,080-Resolutions. Yeah, Right!!

So.  Has everyone made their New Year's Resolutions?
Here are the Top Ten for 2013:  (According to about.com)
1.   Spend More Time With Family & Friends
2.   Make Time For Fitness
3.   Lose Weight
4.   Quit Smoking
5.   Enjoy Life More
6.   Quit Drinking
7.   Get Out of Debt
8.   Learn Something New
9.   Help Others
10. Get Organized

All honorable resolutions, don't ya think?  No wonder we party like wild animals on New Year's Eve!!  We want to break every rule the day before New Year's Day!!  We get a babysitter for the kids so we don't have to spend the night with the family. (Breaking #1)  We sit on the couch and watch the ball drop in Times Square so we don't have to stand or walk around anywhere. Then we shovel in the food at the party that we are attending.  Every meatball, every shrimp and every mini cupcake had better hide because they are MINE!! (Breaking #2 & #3)  We smoke the last 15 cigarettes that we have left in our last pack before midnight beginning at 10:45! (#4) Can't leave even one cigarette in the pack or else we will have to smoke them tomorrow!!!  Well #5 is really easy to keep unless you drink or smoke so much that it makes you too sick to enjoy life!!  Quitting drinking (#6) is easy on New Year's Day because you usually drink so much the night before that you actually swear off of alcohol for at least a week!!  Maybe a month if you really overdo it!  #7 won't be easy to keep because we just spent way too much on Christmas and we will probably spend the better part of 6 months paying the credit cards off.  How about not spending $3,000 on Christmas next year and you won't put yourself in that kind of debt again?  Believe me, showing someone that you love them doesn't take diamonds and labels every year!!  Learning something new (#8) is easy to do because you learn something new everyday especially if you read my blog!! (Shameless, I know!!)  Now #9 is one that we all should take seriously.  There are homeless people even in our small town and we have a community shelter that not only needs money but also needs volunteers to help serve meals or lend a hand to the shelter.  We can donate blood to the Red Cross if we are healthy.  We can definitely do something to help others, even if we don't have any extra money to give.  #10 Bahahahahaha!! That is sooooo easy for anyone who doesn't have ADD.  I know that I need to organize my cabinets and closets but I just can't!! My ADD won't let me finish anything!!  I really need for someone to come over and pull everything out of my cabinets and leave.  Then I guess I would have to do it!!  Anyone??  Anyone??  Bueller??

On a serious note, please don't drink and drive tonight.  If you are planning on even drinking one drink, have a designated driver or call a taxi service.  If you drink tonight and hadn't planned on it, you can call this number and they will take you home and even tow your car free of charge. 1-800-222-4357. Now you have no excuse to drink and drive!!!  I need you all to come back tomorrow and keep reading my blog so maybe someday I can get paid for this!!!  That is reason enough not to die!!  You don't want to miss my blog!!

Lesson #15,078-Holidays Are For Eating

Right?  Holidays are all about food.  Some people think the holidays are all about gifts but it's really food.  Thanksgiving Day is all about the turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, macaroni and cheese, rice, sweet potato casserole and bread.  Oh yea, it is about being thankful for what you have been blessed with but the holiday is centered around a meal with family or friends.

Christmas is all about the food too.  Some snacks are only available during Christmas.  I don't mean fruit cake, although fruit cake is only on store shelves during the Christmas season but I never see sausage balls, date balls or peanut butter balls.  There are a lot of balls that are only around during the Christmas season.  Some cakes are more common around Christmas, besides fruit cake.  I hardly ever see coconut cake or Hershey bar cake or even red velvet cake any other time of year.

New Years Day is all about the food too.  New Years Eve, you may have drank too much and feel really bad but on New Year's Day you have to eat pork, some sort of greens and black-eyed peas.  It has something to do with being unlucky if you don't eat that food on New Years Day.  Personally, I think we all should eat Millionaire Pie or Millionaire Cake on New Years Day.  Maybe eat a 100 Grand candy bar.  Anything to make money come our way this year!!  Maybe we should call Bill Gates and ask him what he usually eats or maybe Warren Buffett.  It seems that almost everyone that eats the pork, greens and black-eyed peas are doing something wrong.

Oh but then comes January 2nd and we are all miserable and have 10 extra pounds to get rid of so we all join a gym or actually go to the gym that we are members of.  A few years ago, my OB/GYN asked me if I worked out and I told him that I paid my gym membership every month and he explained to me that merely being a member of a gym would not make me healthy.  I actually have to "go to" the gym to get healthy!! What??  That explained why I had not lost an ounce since I joined the gym!! Oh well.  Off to get that muffin top off again!!  Oh who am I kidding?  My muffin top has turned into a pound cake!!!  Here's to making and keeping our New Year's Resolution in 2013!!