Lesson #15,066-That's Not P.C.

Political Correctness. <Insert Eye Roll Here>  I'm over it!!  I'm not saying to go around being insensitive to people.  What I am saying is this.  Why can't we call a spade a damn shovel?  If you are proud to be black, that's okay.  If you are proud to be Hispanic, that's okay.  If you are proud to be Asian, that's okay.  If you are proud to be white, you're racist.  Possibly a Nazi.  Maybe even a skinned head.  Possibly KKK.
Who cares what color you are?  We are humans!!  God loves us all equally, no matter what color you are.  If you are thinking about race so much, YOU are the racist.  You just don't want to admit it!  Don't get me wrong, there are white people who hate people of other races.  There are black people who hate other races.  There are Asians who hate other races.  Racism does exist just not like the media makes it look like because of Political Correctness!!



 
If you are Jewish and say "Happy Hanukkah" to me I will not be offended.  If you are black and say "Happy Kwanza" to me I will not be offended.  So why is it not proper to say "Merry Christmas"?  Let's call a spade a damn shovel!! It is Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Year's Day, etc.  Not a non-specific winter holiday.  I don't mind "Happy Holidays".  It is the holidays.  What I hate is calling a Christmas tree a "holiday tree".  It's a CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!  You sound like an idiot calling it a "holiday tree"!!  It's called a menorah, not a religious candelabra.  I think companies are so afraid of offending someone that they offend everyone!!



 
What about Indians?  There are Native Americans that used to be called American Indians that used to be called Indians.  Then there are Indians from India who it is okay to call Indians.  But then that gets confusing because if you say that John is Indian, we still don't know if he is an India Indian or a Native American Indian because we were brought up calling them both Indians.

Are we becoming a society of whiny butts?  Can nobody take a joke anymore?  If I hear a black comedian telling jokes about white people, I think it is funny.  Maybe it is because I was not brought up with kid gloves on.  If I was being an ass, it wasn't because I was a girl or because I was white, it was because I was being an ass.  I have always been short.  It has never bothered me.  Kids in school would pick on me and I would just laugh too.  Maybe if I was 12 inches tall, it would bother me but being 6 inches shorter than other girls does not bother me.  My big mouth more than makes up for my shortness!!  You want to pick on me??  Bring it!!  I can take it!!  Would I walk up to a "little person" (aka a midget) and pick on them about their height just because I could?  Absolutely not!  But, if you are a "little person" you better get used to short jokes and not get offended every time someone picks on you.  BTW, when I was a kid they were called midgets and now they are called little people.  I can't keep up with the PC terms because they change daily!!!

Look, if we cannot laugh at ourselves once in a while, life will just be boring.  Lighten up! 

Life Lesson #15,048-Ma'am??

OMG!! Within 30 seconds two different people called me ma'am yesterday!! When did that happen?  When did I become a ma'am?  I know that I live in the South and there are gentlemen here, but ma'am??  One girl was about 19-years old but the other person was a man about my age.  Did he think I was older than him or was he just  being a Southern gentleman??  Did the word "Ma'am" directly correlate to my age or was it just him being polite?  What the heck??  Am I ready to be a ma'am?  I mean, I haven't gone through ma'am training.  I haven't read the rules of what being a ma'am requires.  What do I need to change?  Would I need to change anything at all?  I'm a little afraid of the life after the ma'am becomes permanent.  Will I be required to be proper?  Do I need to wear white gloves to tea?  Do I need to go to tea? Should I find ladies to go to tea with?  Where can I get tea?  Are my friends ready to be ma'ams too?  It is a huge responsibility to be a ma'am.  I don't think I am worthy of the title just yet!!  I mean, I don't wear pearls and eat scones daily.  I do not even use The Queen's English!! Oh for Pete's sake!! I am not ready for the ma'am thing!! I just am not ready for it!!  Maybe a few more years and maybe once I am nominated to the Garden Club or The Women's Club.  Who am I kidding?  Who's gonna nominate me to those exclusive clubs???  Hahaha!!  So, we agree that I am not ready for this Ma'am responsibility, right?



So what do I say to someone who says something like, "Excuse me, ma'am"?  Should I correct them and let them know immediately that I have not been accepted into that exclusive club yet?  Should I just keep my mouth shut and let them think that I am part of that upper echelon of society?  What to do??? What to do??? Ma'am is really a title that should only be worn by those who deserve it, like a Princess, Queen, Lady, Madame, etc.   Can I refuse to be a ma'am or am I required to take the title when more than one person calls me ma'am in the same day?  I need help!!!

I think if you are under 20-years old, you are a young 'un but at what age are you a ma'am?  Please don't tell me that I must accept it when people start calling me ma'am!! I refuse!!!

Life Lesson #15,033-Don't Worry. Be Happy.

Life Lesson #15,033-Don't Worry. Be Happy.

Don't we all know those people who just bring you down?  I like to call these people Eeyore. (Ya know? From Winnie The Pooh.) You see them in Target and you hope that they don't see you so you try to duck down the next aisle and you have to act like you are very interested in whatever is on that aisle.  Then they follow you down the aisle and are like, "Hi, I didn't know that you had hamsters" and you have to say something stupid like, "Umm. Yeah we are thinking about getting one for the kids" and they are like "Oh no. You don't want to do that. We had one and it died after 3 days and then had to get another one and it lived for 15 years".  And you just want to lie and say that you have had a terrible stomach virus and really need to go to the bathroom, really bad and rush away but you are too nice.  No?? Yeah, me either. (Lie)



Wouldn't life be so much better if we all tried to have a positive outlook on life.  I know it isn't always easy.  Sometimes we get bad news or our friends or family have illnesses that could take them away from us so I'm not saying we should be all smiles all the time but some people just are always negative.  "How are you today, Sammy?".  (In Eeyore's voice) "Well, my knee has fluid on it and I have a hernia and I lost my cell phone and...". "Well, Sammy, I've got to go.  See you soon".  All we really wanted to hear was "I'm fine" unless there is a real problem that you will need my assistance on.  That's why I was hiding from you in the hamster supplies aisle!! If you find yourself doing this all the time, try to stop it.  You will find that people will enjoy your company and you will probably get invited to lunch more often if you are a positive force in this life.  If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, CLAP, CLAP.



Is that mean?  Am I just cruel?  Seriously, if you see someone who you are not good friends with and they ask you how you are, please just say, "I'm good. How are you?".  Even if your dog just died that morning and you have a migraine and a Charlie Horse, please just say that you are good and ask about the other person because they don't really want to hear all about it.   And then if they are the negative ones, rush off to the bathroom in Target or the hamster aisle.  You may see me there!! Oh and if you ever catch me being Eeyore, Call Me Out On It!!!!


 

Life Lesson #15,023-Criticizing Doesn't help Any Situation

Life Lesson #15,023-Criticizing Doesn't Help Any Situation

"Before you criticize anyone, walk a mile in their shoes.  That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."~Jack Hadley 

Oh my goodness! This is so hard to do.  Some people use the word "criticize" and some people use the word "judge".  There is a fine line between lovingly pointing out a fault in someone that needs pointing out to them and criticizing too harshly.  And then there is the whole "shooting the messenger" thing. It may start something like this: 
Me:  (to my housekeeper)  Umm. I think you maybe forgot to sweep, mop and dust the dining room.  It's okay. Totally fine but I just wanted to let you know so you can get it better next time.
Housekeeper:  I certainly did sweep, mop and dust the dining room.  I totally remember doing it.
Me:  No, you didn't but it is fine.  I just wanted to let you know.
Housekeeper:  Yes, I did.  I wiped it all down really well and I know I did. I can't believe that you would think that I missed an entire room.
Me:  Well if you're telling me that you did clean this room, I am going to fire you right now because you could write your name in the dust and there were cat hair balls all over the floor 2 seconds after you walked out the door. 
Housekeeper:  Well I did.
Me:  Fine.  You're fired.
Housekeeper:  Fine.

See what I mean?  It starts out as pointing out something that is so small and we all know that accidents happen and mistakes are made so there is no need to explode after such a small comment was made, especially when you are the one who is 100% wrong.  I mean really!  My housekeeper sure does point out when something is left on the floor or it just gets vacuumed around!! Seriously!!

Anyway, my point is maybe I should have just left it alone and not said anything.  I mean, I cleaned the room and vacuumed after they left so it did get done.  No big deal but I had PAID someone else to do it and I feel like it should have been done. I really wasn't trying to criticize, judge or whatever but I just wanted to point out that there was a mistake made. So what should we do when something needs pointing out? 

What if you have a dear friend who is being talked about all over town and you feel like you need to tell that person because you love them?  Will the conversation end like the housekeeping conversation did?  Is it worth losing the friend to "save" them from themselves?  What to do?  What to do?? Scroll to the bottom...




Problem solved.  I'll just keep it to myself and let others worry about themselves and I will just worry about me.  Lord knows I need some improving upon!!! 

Life Lesson #15,022-People, Please Put On Clothing Before Leaving The House

Life Lesson #15,022-People, Please Put On Clothing Before Leaving The House
People of the world, I love a pair of pajamas as much as the next person.  I love me some comfortable bedroom shoes too.  The fluffier the better.  Oh and a fluffy, soft robe that is a little too big to keep me warm in the morning. That being said, I do not want to see you pumping gas or pushing a shopping cart at 11:00am with your pajamas on.  If I have to put on sweats and put my hair in a ponytail then you should too.  I even take 30 seconds to take off my bedroom shoes and throw on some running shoes or flip flops.  I mean really, those fluffy froggy slippers are cute but they are picking up all kinds of grossness off of the floor at Walmart and you are taking it right back to your house. Ewww.  Throw on those flip flops like I do!!

While we are talking about what women do, let's move on to the young men. You guys are another story.  I want you guys to pull up your darn pants.  Nobody wants to see your underwear!!  How long can this trend go on?  Do you really think that you look cool with your underwear and half of your behind showing?  No, you look like an idiot! You are never going to get a job with your butt hanging out. Why do you think we never see you working?  You guys are just walking around town or the mall.  Pull up those pants and you will get a job!!  You walk around holding them up with one hand so why not tighten that belt and then you can use both hands to fill out that job application.  I would love for you to hand me my chicken sandwich and waffle fries but not if you are pulling up your pants with one of your hands every 5 seconds! Why do we never see anyone over 40 dressed this way unless they are rappers?  The reason is because we know better!!  (Also, this is not a racist statement because I see almost as many white and Hispanic young men doing this as I do black.)

Okay so put some clothes on before going out of the house and pull up your pants!! Nobody wants to see your pajamas or underwear.  People make assumptions based on your appearance.  Whether or not that is fair, I don't know, but it is the reality of life. You look lazy!  It may not be true but you do!! Pull up those pants and put on some clothes!! Now let's get out there!! Have a great day!!

Today's Life Lesson #15,008-White Jeans

Today's Life Lesson #15,008-White Jeans
If you see me anytime in the next few days I will probably be wearing my favorite pair of white skinny jeans.  Apparently, I am not allowed to wear them after Monday because it is Labor Day and being that I am a Southern Belle and always, always, always follow proper Southern Etiquette (wink,wink), I must put them away until Easter, the first day of spring or Memorial Day. (I will use whichever comes first!!)  This is the one piece of etiquette that I would like to throw out the window along with my friends Katheryn, Morrow and Hayden!! They keep me in line every year and make sure that I know what time of year it is. My white skinny jeans are my favorites!! They actually look good on me and I do "appear" to be skinny in them.  I think Emily Post must have been naturally skinny or morbidly obese because if she looked great in white skinny jeans, she would not have made up such an asinine rule of etiquette and then put it in that dumb book.  Now there are some designers who still make white pants and shoes for the winter and call them "Winter White".  That is a crock because winter white is just as white as summer white nowadays.  Why is this the one rule that we must cling onto when there are teenage girls wearing shirts that do not cover their belly buttons to church?  Obviously, we have bigger fish to fry. I think that should be the #1 Rule of Etiquette! No midriffs at church!  Oh and No Bra Straps Showing either!!  I don't care if you are wearing those clear shoulder straps...I CAN STILL SEE THEM!! 

I think it is discrimination against anything below the waist to not be able to wear white.  I mean, I am allowed to wear white shirts!  White shirts are never off limits.  Just white skinny jeans! (And shorts and belts and shoes but you get my drift. Right?)  Just look at how fabulous these models look in white jeans:


It must be a Southern thing because I see some ladies with boots on in these pics and you know that you aren't supposed to wear boots until the first day of fall!  You know that girl is a Yankee!! Seriously, why do we care what Emily Post said?  She has been dead long enough for us to cut loose and stop following her rules. Right??  Who's with me?? Let's rebel!! It's an election year so there will be many protests going on in the coming months.  People may not even notice if we wear our white skinny jeans!! My vote is not for RED or BLUE this year!! It's for WHITE!!!  (Skinny jeans that is!!) Life Lesson for today is White Skinny Jeans Rock!!