Lesson #15,128-What a Bunch of Cry Babies!!

Okay, so we have become a nation a whiny butt cry babies!!  Everyone is constantly getting offended.  Everyone is racist.  Everyone is anti this or that.  Everyone is "something phobic".  If you don't like something, it's because something is wrong with YOU!!  If you don't agree with something, it's because something is wrong with YOU!!  If you are anti something, it's because something is wrong with YOU!!  Why can't we just agree to disagree?  Why can't we all have our own opinion about an issue?  You don't have to agree with me, just don't call me a name if I don't agree with you.  You won't hear me hear me calling you a name if you don't agree with me.  Well, except for stupid, dumb, unintelligent, uninformed, uneducated, closed minded, too open minded, moron or idiot, but never, ever will I call you racist or something phobic.  Unless you are really a racist.  If you hate someone because they are black, white, oriental, Hispanic or Indian, then you aren't worth my time.  If you have a phobia of something, for real, I won't hold it against you.  If you have arachnophobia, that's okay.  I am not much on spiders either.  I will, however, not call you a name.  I will not "unfriend" you on Facebook because you don't like spiders or cats or even white people.  Sometimes I don't like us much either!!  If I don't like you, you can bet that it isn't because of the color of your skin.  If I don't like you, you are probably an asshole.  And that's a fact, Jack!!

Okay, so stop getting so offended by everything, people!  If you can't take a joke, you probably shouldn't be my friend.  If you aren't much for sarcasm, you probably shouldn't be my friend.  If you are easily offended, you probably shouldn't be my friend.  I am an equal opportunity offender.  I pick on everyone.  Unless I don't like you.  If I don't pick on you, I probably don't like you.  If I can't laugh with you, I probably don't like you.  Don't be a cry baby!!  I'm not racist or anti-anything, well maybe anti-people who cannot laugh at themselves!!  Relax, people!!

Lesson #15,127-Teacher Work Day? Really??

Okay, so today is a "Teacher Work Day". Let's just call it what it really is, okay? It's a Mommy Work Day. The teachers get a day to get their crap done without the children there to bother them.  Now they are all at home bothering their moms. They will want to go somewhere, eat a few meals and snacks, go and pick up a friend and they will make messes.  They will eat sugary snacks and be wild!! Moms will not get anything done today.  So, I think this Saturday should be a Mommy Work Day.  Ya know? So we can get our crap done without the children here to bother us.  Can we send them to school?  Maybe have them meet at a community center?  How about the library?  Now don't call us at noon to come and get them because they are hungry.  Okay?

I see in my future, going to pick up breakfast. Then maybe a movie.  Then lunch.  Then maybe picking up a friend and going shopping.  I wonder how much money is spent on "Teacher Work Days" to entertain children when we could send them to school for free!!!  I see no shower or make up in my future today.  It will be like every other Saturday around my house.  Then I only have 4 weekdays to get my 5 days of work done in.  There will be no nap today and that sucks!!  Thanks a lot, stupid Teacher Work Day!!  Yes, I said it.  No nap!!  It was on my list of things to do today and now it won't get done because our educators need a day.  Good grief!!  Give me a break!!  No really, give me a break!!  Or just a nap.  A nap will do.




On the up side, we don't have to do the Monday After the Time Change dragging out of the bed thing. Maybe the Teacher's Work Day was a good idea after all!!

Lesson #15,126-Where Are Our American Heroes?

Okay, so we all heard about Chris Brown beating the crap out of Rihanna a few years ago.  We haven't forgotten what her face looked like in those pictures.  Has she?  Seriously?  She is back with this fool!!  And what is up with all of these young girls thinking Chris Brown is a real catch?  I see young girls saying on Facebook that he is so sexy?  WHAT??  I mean, where are these girls mothers?  I would beat my daughters butt if she said that an abusive man was sexy!  He has anger issues!!  He just blew up on some valet a couple of nights ago over having to pay $10 to valet his car.  Huh??  Hey, Chris Brown, Are you stupid?  They don't work for free!!  Just like you don't!!
 
(Kids, This is what a thug looks like! Not a hero!)

I really worry about our kids/teens today.  Their heroes are Kim Kardashian and Miley Cyrus.  Whomever sells the most People magazines is the teen idol of the week.  Why not stop giving people press who have done nothing in their lives?  Paris Hilton never did anything but make a sex tape and inherit money.  Same thing with Kim Kardashian.  That is what they are famous for!!  Then there is Lindsay Lohan.  She is just a train wreck, drug addict and thief!!  What is the fascination with these losers?  Why don't we have higher standards for our idols? 

 
(These are not heroes!!)

 
(This certainly is not a hero!)

 
(Neither is this!!!)

My heroes and idols have changed since I was a teenager.  I used to think that actors and rock stars were the most awesome people.  Now I know the truth.  Mere humans are fallible but there are a few that I look up to and respect.  One is my friend, Kathy Bragg.  Kathy is in charge of our Community Shelter here in town.  They serve 3 meals a day, provide food and supplies to not only homeless but also disadvantaged families in the community and, of course, provides shelter for the night to our homeless.  Another friend, Sheila Crunkleton, is in charge of our local chapter of The Red Cross.  Sheila and Kathy are my heroes because they are not only good people but also care about our entire community.  Every fundraiser for every charitable organization here in the area will include Kathy and Sheila.  I have never seen either one of them on the cover of People Magazine, In Touch, US Weekly or even rags like The National Enquirer!!  If I ever do, I will know that Americans have changed their priorities!!  Don't expect to see Kathy or Sheila on the cover of a magazine though.  They will have to settle for a little praise from my little blog!!  Here's to you ladies!!!
 
These are heroes.  Kathy Bragg and Sheila Crunkleton.

Lesson #15,125-Bon Jovi

Okay, so I took my son to see Bon Jovi.  He is 13-years old so he knows some of their old songs but not many.  He said that he had fun but most of the time he sat in his seat with his hands over his ears.  I did warn him about how loud the concert would be and he said that was okay.  Apparently, it was not!  Of course, he and I both woke up with pounding migraines.  We both took headache meds and went back to bed for a little while.

At the concert we saw things that cannot be unseen.  The crowd was mostly made of 40 somethings.  Most of the women had on jeans and a cute shirt with a jacket but then there were others.  Let me see how I can put this nicely...Uhhhh.  Hmmm.  Errrr.  Well, there is no nice way of saying this but anyone over or under 40 should not wear black lace leggings with a short shirt.  Not a good look on anyone.  There was one lady with a tie on shirt and it had no back at all.  NO BACK Y'ALL!!  Seriously, at our age we should know better than to wear a shirt with no back!  Did I mention that the shirt had NO BACK?  If I was still a size 0, I would have broken out my Bongo jeans with the tear across the knee.  My shirt, however, would still have a back!!  I have some standards!!

Some of the 40 something women had teased their hair like it was the 80's again.  Or at least I hope they were just wearing their hair like that for the concert.  I tried to tease my bangs up a little but my hair is no longer trained to stand 4 inches high.  Oh and the fact that I don't have a spiral perm and was completely out of Aussie Sprunch.  Don't act like you don't remember that stuff!!  Oh and who uses mousse anymore?

Anyway, it was cool to sing "You Give Love a Bad Name" with Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora.  We had a great time.  We sat beside a really nice couple.  One of the sound guys walked right up my son and handed him a guitar pick with the symbol of this year's tour on it.  That was really cool!!  We went to buy t-shirts and apparently it costs a lot to have a Bon Jovi decal printed on a t-shirt.  Holy Crap!!  When I was a teenager t-shirts were $20!!  Now they are $45 for short sleeved T's and $65 for long sleeved ones.  I almost choked!!  I had to buy my son a t-shirt from his first concert though!! But Geez!! $45??  Really??  Okay, so times have changed.  Inflation and all.  Oh and the hair not being 4 inches high.  And jeans not being acid wash anymore.  Some things are a good change.  Acid wash jeans are one of them  Bon Jovi hasn't changed.  They've still got it!!

Lesson #15,124-What To Wear? What. To. Wear.

Okay, So Bon Jovi is tonight.  What does a 29-year old (Shut up!! I will always be 29!) mama wear to see Bon Jovi?  I mean, mom jeans are out, for sure.  (I wouldn't want Jon and Richie to see me in mom jeans.) Leather pants are definitely out.  (Again, I wouldn't want Jon or Richie or anyone else for that matter seeing me in leather pants.)  Sexy cut off shirts are out because nobody wants to see a muffin top hanging out the bottom of the cut off shirt and it would not be called a "sexy" cut off shirt.  Comfortable shoes are a must.  It's not like anyone will see my shoes anyway.  It will be dark in the arena.  Quite honestly, I think most of the women who are going tonight are having the same anxiety about what to wear!  We are "women of a certain age" who lived our glory days in the 80's and still love that hair band music.  To us, 80's rock is the best music that there will ever be.  We probably had hair that was large.  Bangs that made us 4 inches taller.  Wore tore up acid wash jeans and loved us some glitter eyeshadow.  Nowadays, the glitter eyeshadow only enhances the extra wrinkles on our eyelids so we steer clear of that!!  We also steer clear of the blue eyeliner and the iced pink lip gloss!
  
Okay, so back to what to wear.  I am thinking definitely flat boots, jeans and a white shirt with a sweater.  I am sure that I won't be the worst dressed or the best dressed and I am okay with that.  Really, it's not like I am gonna get to go backstage for an autograph session and if I did what would I do differently anyway?  I'm a SAHM!!  The only people who will see me are the people who sit nearby.  I have a confession to make.  I'm not really 29!! 

Okay, so let's go rock it out tonight!!  Did I mention that my 13-year old is gonna be my date tonight?  He is way cuter than Jon or Richie!!

Lesson #15,123-Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom

Okay, so we live in a 2 parent household.  Why am I the only one who gets summoned?  All I hear is "Mom, I'm hungry.  Mom, I am thirsty.  Mom, have you seen my shoes?  Mom, can you help me with my homework?  Mom, can you come here?  Mom, can my friend come over?  Mom, where is a pencil?  Mom, could you bring me a pencil?  Mom, I'm bored.  Mom, I need a blanket.  Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom."  Some days I feel like that Mom from The Family Guy.

I swear my child will walk right past his dad to ask me a question or he will ask his dad where I am so he can come and find me to ask me to do something for him.  Does this happen to other moms?  I have a feeling it does.  I mean, do our children think their dads are handicapped?  Disabled?  Or maybe unwilling to help?  I have a feeling that our children are afraid to ask their dads to help them.  Moms probably have more patience with children but why not just ask Dad for a pencil?  Seriously, I want to hear "Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad"!!

Anyway, tomorrow night I have a date with my son.  We are going to see Bon Jovi.  I will tell y'all all about it.  This will be his very first concert. I am sure I will hear the word "Mom" about 145 times that night!!  That's okay.  I will take it for one night!

Lesson #15,122-When I Was A Kid...

Okay, so we all think that we either had it easier or much worse than our children do.  I say it all of the time. "When I was a kid, we only had cartoons from 6am to noon on Saturday morning."  "When I was a kid, we used to play outside all day long."  "When I was a kid, we didn't have video games."  "When I was a kid, our parents used to spank us."  "When I was a kid, our principal could paddle us."  "When I was a kid, I didn't have a TV in my room."  "When I was a kid, we didn't have cable TV."  "When I was a kid, if you wanted to hear a song you had to call the radio station and request the song."  Lucky for me that my dad owned the radio station so the DJ knew that they had to play the song next or Daddy would not be happy!!  Other kids had to wait their turn.  Then we had to record the song on a cassette tape.  You just hoped that the DJ didn't talk through the beginning of the song or cut off the end! "When I was a kid, we read actual books!" "We had to actually "dial" our phones." "We didn't even have ranch dressing, for goodness sake!!"

When I was a kid, I used to listen to my parents say "When I was a kid, I used to walk to school, up hill both ways, in the snow, without shoes on."  "When I was a kid, I used to get up at 5am to chop kindling for the fire every morning during the winter."  "When I was a kid, we didn't have TV so we used to sit by the radio and listen to The Lone Ranger at night."  "When I was a kid, I had to pick cotton until my fingers bled."  "When I was a kid, my school was a one room classroom with a fireplace to keep us warm."

So, what will our kids say?  "When I was a kid, our computers had actual keyboards and screens instead of holograms."  "When I was a kid, my cell phone could only call people, play games and music on it."  "When I was a kid, we had Xbox with games on HUGE disks!"  "When I was a kid,  I warmed up macaroni and cheese in a microwave oven and it took 3 1/2 minutes!  Now it takes 3 seconds!"  "When I was a kid, we had to brush our own teeth!"  "When I was a kid, we had real pets that you actually had to feed."  "When I was a kid, my mom actually cooked. Now we just have to swallow a pill to survive."  "When I was a kid, we had to travel in cars, not hovercraft." 

I used to always say that God knew which century to put me in because I would have died if I wouldn't have had air conditioning, running water and reality TV.  My grandmother is 96-years old and she remembers riding in a horse drawn wagon.  I suppose if you've never had something, you don't miss it.  In 100 years, other humans will think that we lived like the pioneers.  Wonder what they will have that we don't?  Will life be so much easier that we actually are living like pioneers now?  Are we really savages?  Are we living in the dark ages?  I guess only time will tell.