My son just asked me what a woman means when she says, "This dress isn't me."? I said that it means that she doesn't like the dress for her but it might look good on someone else. He said that when he gets to college he is going to take a course on women and I told him it is a thirty year course and he would fail anyway. LOL! Poor kid. He's only 13-years old and he is already trying to figure out women. Good luck with that, my son!! Why are women so hard to figure out? Why don't we just say what we mean like men do? Why do we hold grudges from the 3rd grade? Why do we care about how soft our skin is? Why do we worry about age spots? Why do we care about gray hair and wrinkles? Why do we have more than 4 pairs of shoes? Why do we have a section in our closet called our "fat clothes"? Why do we wear make up and fuss with our hair? Why do we touch up our lipstick every hour? Why do we fret over an extra 10 pounds? Why do we shove ourselves into Spanx? Why do we always have to smell good? Why do we love pretty things? Why do we always say, "Oh that's so cute!"? I tell you why. Because we are women!!!
Why do we cry about everything? When we are happy. When we are sad. When we are watching Chick Flicks. When we are watching Magic Mike. ((Ahem. Sorry.)) Then for no reason at all, we cry!! We love to know details about everything. It may take us 5 minutes to tell a story that would take a man 10 seconds to tell because we don't leave out any details. We all absolutely hate drama but we want to know if any drama is going on and we will give our opinion but we don't want to get involved in the drama. We get mad if someone knows what is going on and they don't share it with us. We get our feelings hurt easily. We are sensitive. Why?? Because we are women.
One thing is for sure about women. We love with all of our heart. If we are moms we will rip your still beating heart straight out of your chest if you hurt our child. When we love something we will fight for it to the death! Whether it is a relationship or a child, our love knows no boundaries. Some men like to call us stalkers but really it's just love. If they would just love us back, darn it!!!! I mean my goodness, we smell good and our hair is fixed. What more could you possibly want from us? Just because we send you roses, chocolates and 471 texts per day, does not make us stalkers. Just because we wait for you outside of your apartment building at 5am to give you a warm cup of coffee to start off your day right, does not make us stalkers. And yes, buying him that really nice gold watch that he always wanted may have been a little excessive but stalking...No way, Your Honor!! We just like to show our love, Your Honor!! Why? Because we are women!!
So we love cute things and flowers. Earrings and purses. We love bubble baths and pedicures. We love a good book and perfume, chocolate and diamonds, sports cars and suntans, shoes and soft blankets, clean floors and afternoon soccer games. We love our friends to the moon and back and have deeper relationships with a select few. We love our men and our children so much that we would die for them. Not to get all mushy because we also love wine and raunchy sex talk with our girlfriends on Girls Night Out!! We love decorations and little blue boxes with white ribbons. So I just think I will tell my son not to worry about studying up on women. For one, it is a total waste of time and for another thing, whatever we say today could change tomorrow. Why?? Because we are women!!
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