Whew. It is so good to be home and back in America, where everyone speaks English (or Spanish) and most people are friendly. Ahh, yes. The good ole United States of America. Hang on, wait. I was just informed that New York City IS, in fact, part of the United States. WHAT?? Nobody speaks English!!! Oh and most people have no sense of humor. Nobody smiles at you on the street. Nobody throws up a hand at you when you are in the car. Oh and they blow their horns at each other constantly. On our way to the airport our cab driver only blew his horn 4 times but one of them lasted for about 23 seconds so it should really count for more than just one time. Here in The South, if you blow your horn for more than .04 of a second you may get your butt beat! Up in New York, they use their horns as a form of communication. One cab driver said that there was a fine of $100 for using your horn for any other reason than warning of danger. All I have to say is that New York would have streets paved in platinum if they really enforced that law.
There were a few life lessons that I learned on my trip. The first one was in the airplane on the way there. We sat 2 rows behind First Class, in Coach, or as my son calls it, "Low Class". Honestly, there were 12 people in first class and they got their own bathroom. All of us in Low Class were warned not to use "their" bathroom. We were told to use the bathroom in our section of the plane. (Umm. Isn't that discrimination?) Then as the plane ascended to cruising altitude an attendant pulled a mesh curtain. WE CAN STILL SEE YOU!! The curtain is mesh, not a thick velvet or even a nice damask!! MESH!!! With mesh curtains, you can still smell all of us smelly people back here in Low Class. You can still hear us. You even have to look at us if you look behind you so was it really worth the extra money you had to fork out to sit 2 rows ahead of me? Yes they get a wider seat and an itty, bitty pillow but so what? I can roll up my jacket and have a pillow too!! Then later I was talking to my son and we were talking about how airlines board planes. I said that I would never understand why they didn't board the planes back to front. I mean, it would go much quicker. Then he said that he could not figure out why first class was in the front of the aircraft because you have a better chance of living, in the event of a plane crash, in the back of the plane. That boy has a point!! Since First Class always boards first anyway, why not put them at the back of the plane where it is safest? That way the first class passengers wouldn't have to have all of us low class passengers walking past them and smelling up their part of the cabin and they would have a better chance of living in case of a plane crash. Well, just so ya'll First Class passengers know, a flight attendant gave my son a FREE pair of earphones!! Free BABES!! Yes!!
Y'all come back tomorrow for some more life lessons that I learned while we visited New York. Rednecks in the Big City, Baby!!!
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