Life Lesson #15,032-Leaving My Comfort Zone

Life Lesson #15,032-Leaving My Comfort Zone
When we landed in NY I knew I had left my comfort zone!! And I left it way behind.  Several states away.  Hundreds of miles away. Of course, it was overwhelming.  The buildings are tall.  The traffic is horrible.  These people talk funny.  But I swear I knew I was not in The South anymore when we got to our room and ordered room service.  I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich and sweet potato fries.  My husband got a grilled cheeseburger and fries and my son got...(If you know him, you know what he got.)...chicken tenders and fries.  Oh and I ordered a big piece of key lime pie and chocolate chip cookies.  The server brought up the tray and uncovered the 3 meals and we all pulled up a chair and sat down.  Nope, we are not in The South anymore.  Hellmann's Mayonnaise and Dijon Mustard???  Where's my Dukes?  Where's my French's?  Oh Dear Lord, it is going to be a long 5 days!!






The next minute I knew we were not in The South anymore was when my husband looked at our Visa bill in the morning and realized that last night's room service chicken sandwich, hamburger and chicken tenders cost us a cool $130!!! What????????  I am not even kidding you!!  The food was a little overpriced and then there was the tax, delivery fee, hotel charges, on and on they go until it added up to $130!!  Needless to say, we didn't order room service again.  We got our lazy selves up and went to the restaurant inside the hotel even if we didn't feel like it!  Stuff is expensive in New York!

I have seen vandalism before.  I mean some of my so called "friends" decorated my yard for Christmas one year.  It was July!!  I have seen spray paint on trains and under bridges.  I have seen a yard get TP'd.  What I have never seen was a high end store get vandalized and these people didn't even try to clean it up!! Come on!! This is 5th Avenue not The Bronx!! I mean...Well just look for yourself...This is Bergdorf Goodman.  What a shame!!


I knew that I wasn't in small town, North Carolina anymore when I saw Queen Latifah on the street in Times Square, a few policeman on horseback posing for pictures with tourists, Spiderman in the street spinning his web and a TJ Maxx with a gold sign on a grand stone building.  Our TJ Maxx here is great and I love it but it is only one floor and made of brick.  No comparison to the one on Wall Street right beside the Stock Exchange! 

Of course, I have told you about being out of my comfort zone and talking to Muslims for the first time in my entire life and them actually being nice people and nothing like Achmed but guess what church is directly behind the Marriott in Times Square??? The Church of Scientology!!  Not a Baptist, Presbyterian or Methodist Church or even a Catholic Church but SCIENTOLOGY!!!  Okay, maybe I am being judgmental here but even their churches are spooky!! It actually looks more like a theater than a church.



There were many times that I was out of my comfort zone and actually enjoyed it but there was one last story that I was very uncomfortable outside of my comfort zone.  I am many things.  I am usually positive even in negative situations.  (Usually.  Hey, I'm human!)  I try to be friendly. I try to be funny.  I try to be compassionate. BUT...I am very opinionated.  I am a diehard Republican.  I am a card carrying member of the NRA.  I believe in Religious Freedom, The Right to Bear Arms and being fiscally conservative with my tax dollars.  That being said, I think God was testing my patience at the Statue of Liberty, of all places.  While waiting in line for tickets the lady in front of me started talking to me and telling me about how great the past 4 years have been and how great Obama is.  I bit my tongue until it almost bled!! I tried to change the subject to other things like, ya know, the weather, the sky, dirt, ANYTHING but the great Obama!!  It always led back to us needing 4 more years.  Over and over and over.  Then she totally lost me.  She told me she was from Israel.  I wanted to punch her in the throat.  I thought I was talking to an American and letting her have her "Freedom of Speech" and being nice. I did not say anything against her political beliefs. I mean, it isn't my place to try and change anyone's mind about their political beliefs. God does have a sense of humor, doesn't He??!! Hahahaha!!

Okay, I'm a little sick of talking about New York and frankly, I just don't want to anymore.  It was a great visit and I saw a lot and learned a lot but I wouldn't ever want to live there.  I love The Carolinas and never want to live anywhere else!!

Life Lesson #15,031-People In NYC Are Interesting

Life Lesson #15,031-People In NYC Are Interesting

Only in NYC will you walk past a Naked Cowboy, Hello Kitty or someone painted completely green and nobody even stares at them.  Honestly, there are no freaks in NYC.  There were a few people, however, who made an impression.  The very first night we landed in NY, we had a great driver who drove us from LaGuardia to the hotel.  He was from Africa and was so glad to be in the United States.  I loved this guy from the second that I met him.  He told us about growing up with 1 pair of shoes to wear to school, to church, to play in and everywhere else.  He grew up very poor and was blessed to have that one pair of shoes. He was glad to be here and have more than one pair of shoes.  Thank you, God for not making me live in Africa with no shoes!!



Okay I have lived in the South my entire life and have never even spoken to a Muslim in my entire life.  The only ones that I have ever seen have been in the airport or at the mall.  Needless to say, the only thing that I know about their religion is The Koran is their holy book and Mohammed is their prophet and Muslims are responsible for the terrorism on 9/11 so they all must be violent and crazed and hateful.  Right?????????? 
So there were these food carts just sitting unattended on the streets of NYC and there was this loud crazy music coming from all of these carts.  It sounded like some sort of horn being played.  The music was haunting.  Then it hit me.  It was the "Call to Prayer" that was playing and the unattended food carts were abandoned by their owners because they were doing their daily prayers.  If I am not mistaken they pray about 5 times a day.  (If I prayed to my God 5 times a day, I would probably be a better person.)  Then we finally hailed a cab and of course a Muslim driver picked us up. Was he going to scream at us?  Was he going to set a fire?  Was he going to set off a bomb while we were driving with him???????? Well while was driving us and he began to talk about 9/11.  He talked about the horror he felt and how all he could do was stare out his window in shock, much the same as I did at the TV that day.  Every Muslim we encountered was polite, hard working and nothing like Achmed!!  One of our drivers told me about how just after 9/11 he could not leave his house because of people being angry at all Muslims about 9/11 and how there was violence against them because of their religion and how they were hurt by the attacks too.  I felt ashamed of myself because I had thought terrible things about all of those people myself.  I didn't realize that there were those Muslims who hated what was done on 9/11 just as much as I did.  I pride myself on not being judgmental of people but I had judged an entire religion on the acts of some.  I am sorry for that.  I now know that they all don't feel this way about us "infidels". 

 

So we went to "The Lion King" at The Minskoff Theater one night and I was honestly afraid the bathroom attendant was a terrorist.  I don't know what religion she was but maybe she just needed some religion, or somebody to Bless Her Heart or maybe she just needed some sweet tea.  I am not sure what her problem was but this attendant was screaming at us in the stalls and telling us that we were taking too long.  Has this woman ever tried to pull up underwear, Spanx and pants?  I don't think she understands what it takes to get all of these items back in place!  Honestly!! It takes more than 15 seconds to dismantle the undergarments, sit, pee, wipe accordingly, pull up undies, Spanx, Pants, fasten the belt, turn around and flush.  I consider it rude to have almost 1600 seats in a theater and have 4 stalls for the ladies.  Just sayin'! At intermission, if half of the crowd is female and then half of the females have to pee then you have 400 women standing in line to pee and 4 stalls. Intermission was 10 minutes.  You can do the math but even I know the odds aren't very good that everyone can do their business in that amount of time with that amount of stalls!! So stop screaming at me you terrorist bathroom attendant!! No tip for you!!!

 

I had many, many people leave an impression on me but the most interesting person that we ran into was this homeless person.  All of the homeless people in NYC have a cardboard sign and a hoodie.  This one guy had a sign and it said, "I'm not even going to lie.  I need money for pot".  I swear I thought about putting a few bucks in his can because he was being honest.  I laughed out loud!! I have mad respect for that homeless, pothead!! 


Come back tomorrow...

Life Lesson #15,030-Chinatown. Better Than Park Avenue!

Life Lesson #15,030-Chinatown. Better Than Park Avenue!


On our first full day in NYC we walked around Park Avenue. We walked into the Louis Vuitton where we all know the prices are high.  They have specialty bags that our local Louis Vuitton store does not have. Wow, Oh Wow!! I was in Heaven.  Then we walked into Tiffany & Co. Big Mistake!!  But I'm not spending all of my money in one store so...off to Chinatown!!  Those same LV bags were 5% of the price as the ones on Park Avenue!!  Oh and they not only had Louis Vuitton but also Gucci, Hermes, Chanel, Coach, Prada, Burberry, and Tory Burch bags for like $60!! Now those are good prices!!  Oh and Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses were only $5!!  When I was in Tiffany & Co. I found a beautiful necklace and bracelet.  I go into Chinatown and find the same necklace and bracelet for $35 each!!  Okay, Okay.  I know that they are knockoffs but come on!!  Who can tell unless they are looking very close?  What is so funny is the people selling their wares on the street will tell you not to worry if you get caught with the contraband because you will only spend 2 hours in jail.  These are hardworking Chinese-Americans who I think should run this country.  They can talk you into anything and they get it done!! You walk away happy and feeling like you got an amazing deal.  Just don't waste their time.  I love these people!!

 

You walk past the people selling handbags and jewelry and you see fruit stands.  There's fruit on these stands that I have never seen in my life.  Some of it had spikes and bumps and looked really scary.  Some of it looked really good though.  It was just unusual looking fruit.  I don't think we have that stuff at the local Harris Teeter. 



Then you cross the street to the meat markets.  There are ducks, chickens and who know what other types of foul hanging in the windows.  I thought that was just in Asia!! I had no idea that you could do that in America!! Of course, you feel like you are in a foreign country in Chinatown so for some reason it doesn't seem that strange.  Two doors down from the meat market is the seafood market.  Let me tell you, there is no fresher seafood than this seafood.  The crabs were still crawling all over one another.  The smell was overwhelming.  My son had to cover his nose but it really is something that he will never forget.


There were very unusual buildings.  The McDonald's sign is even written in Chinese.  The only other place in the world where that is done is in China.  There was one building which was 3 stories high.  On the first floor there was a 99 cent store.  On the second floor was a Buddhist Temple.  The third floor is a Jewish Community Center.  NO JOKE!!!  We also saw another building which was a Starbucks on the first floor and the top four floors were a Buddhist Temple.  I have pictures of these places.  I swear it is a true story!





Anyway, Chinatown is a place not to be missed if you visit NYC.  There is not one square inch of that place without something interesting in it.  I hope you get to go there and get that handbag that you have always dreamed of and have never been able to afford.  And remember, if you get caught you will only spend 2 hours in jail!! It's so worth it!! Totally worth it!!

Come back tomorrow for more...

Life Lesson #15,029-It's Great To Be In America

Life Lesson #15,029-It's Great To Be In America
Whew. It is so good to be home and back in America, where everyone speaks English (or Spanish) and most people are friendly.  Ahh, yes.  The good ole United States of America.  Hang on, wait.  I was just informed that New York City IS, in fact,  part of the United States.  WHAT??  Nobody speaks English!!! Oh and most people have no sense of humor.  Nobody smiles at you on the street.  Nobody throws up a hand at you when you are in the car.  Oh and they blow their horns at each other constantly.  On our way to the airport our cab driver only blew his horn 4 times but one of them lasted for about 23 seconds so it should really count for more than just one time.  Here in The South, if you blow your horn for more than .04 of a second you may get your butt beat! Up in New York, they use their horns as a form of communication.  One cab driver said that there was a fine of $100 for using your horn for any other reason than warning of danger.  All I have to say is that New York would have streets paved in platinum if they really enforced that law. 

There were a few life lessons that I learned on my trip.  The first one was in the airplane on the way there.  We sat 2 rows behind First Class, in Coach, or as my son calls it, "Low Class".  Honestly, there were 12 people in first class and they got their own bathroom.  All of us in Low Class were warned not to use "their" bathroom.  We were told to use the bathroom in our section of the plane. (Umm.  Isn't that discrimination?) Then as the plane ascended to cruising altitude an attendant pulled a mesh curtain.  WE CAN STILL SEE YOU!! The curtain is mesh, not a thick velvet or even a nice damask!!  MESH!!!  With mesh curtains, you can still smell all of us smelly people back here in Low Class.  You can still hear us.  You even have to look at us if you look behind you so was it really worth the extra money you had to fork out to sit 2 rows ahead of me?  Yes they get a wider seat and an itty, bitty pillow but so what?  I can roll up my jacket and have a pillow too!!  Then later I was talking to my son and we were talking about how airlines board planes.  I said that I would never understand why they didn't board the planes back to front.  I mean, it would go much quicker.  Then he said that he could not figure out why first class was in the front of the aircraft because you have a better chance of living, in the event of a plane crash, in the back of the plane.  That boy has a point!! Since First Class always boards first anyway, why not put them at the back of the plane where it is safest?  That way the first class passengers wouldn't have to have all of us low class passengers walking past them and smelling up their part of the cabin and they would have a better chance of living in case of a plane crash. Well, just so ya'll First Class passengers know, a flight attendant gave my son a FREE pair of earphones!!  Free BABES!! Yes!!

Y'all come back tomorrow for some more life lessons that I learned while we visited New York. Rednecks in the Big City, Baby!!!

Life Lesson #15,009-Winning The Lottery Would Not Change Me

Life Lesson #15,009-Winning The Lottery Would Not Change Me
What happens to people when they come into a lot of money?  Why are so many of them bankrupt within a few years?  I mean, seriously, how does this happen?  You see it all of the time.  Someone wins the lottery or stops getting millions per year for their sports contracts and they are in the poor house.  Do they just go crazy?  That would never happen to me, right?  Or would it?  If I won millions in the lottery I would definitely have to have a beach house.  Then I would have a buyer from Pottery Barn come and furnish and decorate the house.  Anyone who knows me knows how much I love Pottery Barn!!! I could go into any Pottery Barn and buy anything I wanted without having to ask how much it costs!! OH YEAH!! That would be my dream!!  I don't have to go to some fancy furniture store with outrageous prices if I could just afford anything I wanted from Pottery Barn. I have actually looked at the Pottery Barn website and put everything that I wanted in the "Cart".  Hahahaha!! They sent me emails reminding me of the items that were still in my "Cart" the next day!!  I bet they did want that sale!! Oh Boy, did they want that sale!!  I had beds, living room furniture, side tables, bed linens and the very best pillows that you could ever buy. Sure do wish I could have "Checked Out"!

But seriously, what else would I not be able to live without if I won the lottery?  Hmmm.  Yep, I'm good with just the beach house.  No, wait.  If I had a beach house then I would need a Jeep to keep at the beach.  My husband would want me to buy him a red Porsche.  Should I or shouldn't I?  Okay, I will buy him one of those.  But that's it!!!  Wait, my son would want a house in the mountains.  We would have to get one of those. Then I would need a nice Range Rover to drive when we are there.  So the Range Rover and the mountain house, the Jeep, the Porsche and the beach house and all of the Pottery Barn furniture for BOTH houses now that I have 2 vacation homes.  But that's it!!  What about a really big house here at home though?  Yes!! And, of course, I need Pottery Barn to come and outfit my new house.  Then we will need a pool, pool house, tennis court, basketball court and soccer field.  Of course, I may need a new wardrobe, new Christian Louboutin shoes and some of those Birkin bags. Some of those Birkin bags are over $100,000.  I think since I am a new millionaire I will not buy those.  I will just buy one of the $25,000 bags. Ya know, the cheaper version. Oh and then I will need a convertible Mercedes-Benz to drive around town and to the mall.  Oh, maybe I should get one of those Maserati's.  Yes, I will get a blue Maserati!! I love being Nuveau Riche!! Hmm.  Maybe I am running low on money.  I better check.  Yep.  I need to call the bank because I have an NSF check to the Maserati dealership!!  See, I am broke already!!

Maybe God should let someone else win that lottery!  I may be one of those homeless people who were once filthy rich!!  I guess I figured it out.  It really is possible to win the lottery and go bankrupt fairly quickly!!

Life Lesson #15,007-Let's Talk About Camping

Life Lesson #15,007-Let's Talk About Camping.
Okay, I am probably gonna hear it about this one but I don't care.  Camping stinks!!  I know. I know.  Some of you love camping.  Some of you go to the mountains and pitch tents and have a great time.  Some of you go to the beach in RV's or 5th wheels and camp in those large campgrounds and love it. I, however, hate camping.  I grew up camping in those campers in the big campgrounds. I have slept in a tent outside before.  God, please don't ever let me be homeless because I hated camping and that is the closest thing to being homeless that I can think of.  I mean, in a camper you sleep on the kitchen table. Then in the morning you get to put the table back together and eat where you just slept.  Then you have to put the "living room" back together because the kids slept on the bed/couch/coffee table.  Oh and the worst part is that there is NO HOUSEKEEPER!!!  Of course, you can sleep as late as you want to because housekeeping won't be knocking on your door.  Then again, if one person in the camper or tent is up, then you all are going to be up!

I'm not high maintenance but...well, I take that back. I may be a little higher maintenance than I used to be.  Roughing it, for me, is The Hampton Inn.  I want someone to come by my room and bring me fresh towels and make the beds and clean the bathrooms.  That isn't totally accurate either.  I totally make my own beds even in hotels because I like hospital corners.  If you have ever been taught the proper way to make a bed, it MUST be made that way!!  Of course, the maids usually come back and "correct" my bed making to their "totally wrong" way of bed making! Hee Hee!!  I do love a nicely made bed!!  See, that's why I don't camp.  You can't "make up" a couch or kitchen table or sleeping bag like you can a nice bed.

When I am on vacation, I want to eat out.  I don't want to cook in a miniature kitchen, on a miniature stove and a miniature oven.  I don't want to go to a bathhouse to take a shower because the hot water heater only holds 4 gallons.  I want a hot shower even after 3 other people have taken a shower.  I want to relieve myself in a bathroom that I cannot touch the toilet, sink and shower with one hand at the same time. I like bedrooms.  They don't have to be large and luxurious but the little people need to go to their bedroom and the older people need to go to theirs.  Not for hanky panky but for sleep!! If you have ever slept in a room with more than one child you know what I mean.

Okay, here's the deal.  I am not woman enough to camp.  To all of my very dear friends who love it, Have At It!! That's what makes the world go around.  I am bracing myself for your comments...EEK!!