Life Lesson #15,042-Let's Talk About Toys Part 1

Okay, so, let's talk about toys.  Once you get pregnant and start collecting all of the items that you will "need" before you can even bring your baby home, you will realize that a tiny baby takes up a lot of space.  You will have that baby an entire bedroom packed with a dresser and closet full of clothing, a crib full of stuffed animals and mobiles and lights & sounds toys, and a changing table with lots of shelves stocked with diapers, wipes, powder, lotion, diaper cream and other diapering items. So the nursery is now full.  Then you go to the family room and there is a baby swing, a baby bouncer and a baby rocker.  In the kitchen, there is a high chair and if you are really lucky, someone has already given you a booster seat for when the baby outgrows the high chair.  Once the baby comes, the kitchen counters, the refrigerator and cabinets become totally full of bottles, melamine bowls and plates and those rubber covered spoons. The fridge is full of formula or breast milk. The cabinets are full of baby food.  Then you realize...This kid is taking over our house!! This kid needs more room than my husband and I do.



Then your child gets a little older and the toys start to appear.  Big, chunky toys in primary colors.  Everything is larger than when I was a child because we figured out that every toy I had as a child was a choking hazard.  I am quite sure that I played with marbles at age 2 and I am pretty sure that there is now a warning label on marbles that says that you must be 12 or older to play with them.  Anyway, their toys no longer fit into a cute little basket so you have to purchase a Toy Box.  Of course, this Toy Box cannot go in their room because we all spend all of our time in the family room. So now we have even more items in the family room.  At first, we clean up all of the toys during the first and second naps of the day. Then the child goes from two naps down to one per day and the toys get cleaned up once during the day and then at bedtime.  Then as time goes on moms realize that there is no use in cleaning the toys off of the floor during nap time because it is a complete waste of time.  Then we begin only cleaning the toys up at bedtime.  After a while of doing this, it begins to seem like a complete waste of time because the toys will just get dragged right out first thing in the morning so we stop picking up all of the toys every night.  Then the toys get smaller.




Have you ever stepped on a Lego or Matchbox car in the dark, early morning hours?  If not, you have no idea what pain really is.  I don't care if you have given birth, had a kidney stone, a back spasm, a broken leg or a gunshot wound, you have not felt pain like the pain of standing on a Lego or a Matchbox car with bare feet!! YOWZA!!  Then I swear for the next 8 years the toys are extremely small and have infinite numbers of tiny pieces accompanying any and all toys.  I mean if you buy a Barbie or GI Joe, you will have itty bitty shoes, clothing and accessories. Even Army tanks have eeny, weeny guns and ammo and little canisters and I can't help but think, WHY???  Can I just tell you how happy I am that my son just turned 13 and I can now get rid of all of those itty bitty toy pieces that are in every jar, basket, drawer, bowl and vase that I own? I cannot wait to toss it all!!  Except for the Matchbox cars.  We will probably keep them all.  I bet we have well over 1,000 in Rubbermaid containers under his bed.  If there was a collectible Matchbox car made from 1999 to 2010, we probably have it in one of those containers.  It was probably worth all of the pain of stepping on that Matchbox car if it will be worth money one day!!  Well, I don't know about that.  If I could figure a way to sue Matchbox or Lego for my negligent behavior (not cleaning up the floor before dark) and stepping on their product, I WOULD!!

Come back tomorrow and let's talk more about toys...