Lesson #15,094-Snow Days In The South

Okay, so we love snow here in The South.  Yes, we do!!  We do.  It's supposed to snow here.  If we are lucky we will get a quarter of an inch but every school and business within 50 miles will be closed.  The only reason that I want it to snow is so school will be closed.  I really would like to go back to bed this morning instead of driving carpool.  It's gonna be cold and wet and yucky!!  I wish every day that I drove carpool would be sunny and warm.  I absolutely hate cold weather.  That's why I love The South!!  I do not love the mad dash to the grocery store for milk and bread.  I, honest to goodness, needed bread and milk today but I intentionally didn't go to the grocery store because the very mention of snow by a local meteorologist means there will be bare shelves.  I will wait until tomorrow to get some.  If there happens to be any snow outside, it will be gone by sundown so maybe I will go tonight.  If, for some reason, there is a foot of snow outside later this morning, please someone bring me some bread and milk!!  Look we have stocked up on wine and Nutella so all is good with me.  It's the kid and the husband who may want to make a trip to the grocery store.

Okay so if you don't have to be on the roads today, I would suggest staying at home.  We Southerners cannot drive in anything but sunshine!!  Not snow or ice or sleet or even rain.  Well, some of us can drive in rain.  I, personally, cannot.  I hate driving in anything but clear conditions.  I also only like going to the grocery store in clear conditions.  I only like to watch sporting events in clear conditions.  Pretty much if anyone asks me to dance in the rain, I will say "Heck No" and look at you funny.  All of you who do dance in the rain, that is great but I hate drying my hair so it ain't gonna happen!!  Unless, of course, Channing Tatum wants to dance in the rain.  Then I will Suck It Up and dance!!!

Anyway.  Snow, come on so we can go back to bed!!!  Just enough so school is cancelled.  Then it can melt!!

Lesson #15,056-At "The Show" I Realized I'm Lame!!

If you are from the Charlotte, NC area, you know that every year we have a wonderful tradition.  The Southern Christmas Show.  It is a great show to see what is hot in Christmas decorations and then there is everything else.  There is every type of food that you can imagine.  There are dips, cheeses, Moravian cookies & breads, candied nuts, pastries and oh my goodness, freshly made doughnuts.  They put these hot mini doughnuts in a little bag with either cinnamon sugar or powdered sugar and shake it around and it is the most wonderful confection that you have ever put in your mouth!! YUMMO!!  There are Christmas wreaths, trees, decorated mantles, table displays and even bedroom Christmas decor.  Then there is every craft that you can imagine and every gadget and fad that is hot right now.  So, anyway, I go every year and buy the newest hippest thing and cannot remember what the hot thing was last year!! My friend and I went yesterday and instead of coming home with wonderful decorations, I came home with this really fabulous stain remover and these heat packs/cold packs that you don't have to heat in the microwave.  Good for the aching and aging joints and muscles!  What the Hell happened to me?  I used to spend hundreds of dollars every year on decorations.  I guess since I am older, I have tons of decorations so I bought sensible stuff instead of stuff that I already have!! Now I want to go back and buy a bunch of crap and all of those dip and soup mixes that I used to buy.  Why did I do that???  (As I sit here with one of my new heat packs on my shoulders!  The most wonderful heat that I have ever felt, by the way!! And looking at the stains on the arms of my sofa that I cannot wait until tomorrow to clean off!!)  Oh how times have changed!! If y'all see me wearing sensible shoes, please shake me!!!!!  You know that I have gone over to the dark side of old age!!



Happy Southern Christmas Show Week, y'all!!

Life Lesson #15,045 Southern Belle Rules

There are some rules that you should know about all of us Southern Belles.  We have a few hundred rules that we live by but I will only share the important ones for you.

 

1.  Every good Southern Belle owns at least one strand of pearls.
2.  Every good Southern Belle has her monogram on something that she owns.  (The more you have monogrammed, the better.)
3.  Every good Southern Belle owns many, many pairs of flip flops.  (You will need these year round.)
4.  Every good Southern Belle owns a crock pot or 4. (Yes, I have 4.  What of it?)
5.  We all own a Lilly dress. (If you have to ask who Lilly is then you are not Southern.)
6.  We all own a pair of cowgirl boots, just in case we ever need them.
7.  We all know what koozies are and we use them accordingly.
8.  We all own a wide brimmed hat.  You never know when you will be invited to The Derby or The Cup.
9.  We all own at least one pair of Sperrys.
10. Jack Rogers sandals.  Need I say more.
11. Every good Southern Belle knows the proper way to say Sugar and Darling.  If you say them like they are spelled then you aren't Southern. It's Sugah and Dahling.
12. We all know that a chandelier on a front porch is just...................................................fabulous!!!!
13. We all know what it means when we hear "I'm fixin' to".  (It means I'll do it directly.)  (Soon.)
14. Don't start anything with us that you don't want us to finish. (Like a fight.)
15. Good manners are not an option.  We write "Thank You" notes and mail them.
16. SEC football and ACC basketball. 'nuff said.
17. Every good Southern Belle knows how to throw a party.  We make sure that everyone else has food and drink before we will even consider having a mint julep.
18. Dogwoods are a tree and a flower.  Yes they are!! Yes they are!!
19. They are Lightnin' Bugs, not Fireflies.
20. Southern Belles can fry just about anything.
21. China should not be saved for special occasions.  It's Sunday.  That's special enough.
22. Southern Belles know the difference between a redneck, a hillbilly and white trash.
23. Southern Belles have their favorite literature on their coffee tables.  Southern Living and The Holy Bible.
24. Southern Belles own at least one item from a flea market.  We may lie and say we got it in Charleston or Savannah though.
25. When a Southern Belle says "Sweetie" or "Bless Your Heart", watch out!!  She just insulted you.
26. A man in a bow tie or a seersucker suit is SEXY!! Throw in a pair of cream colored Bucks and WOW, somebody is getting lucky tonight!
27. Southern Belles know the difference between a Ford and a Chevrolet.
28. Southern Belles know how to use charm to get something done. Especially things that we don't really want to do ourselves.
29. Southern Belles secretly wish that we could still wear those frilly Scarlett O'Hara dresses.
30. If you want a Southern Belle, build a plantation style house with real shutters and a long driveway. Plant some water oaks and put Spanish Moss in the trees and you will be married by sundown!!