Lesson #15,055-What's Happened To This World?

Seriously?? I looked at Yahoo to see what was going on in the world and what do I see??  Elmo has molested a teenage boy.  Can you believe this?  I knew that little monster was no good.  I mean look at his beady little eyes.  Always talking about himself in the 3rd person.  Asking questions about what Elmo is up to and he knows that you know the answer is.  He's just trying to see who would answer.  Evil little monster.  I've got my eye on that little hooker, Zoe too.



Then, living here in the Charlotte area, we have to be neighbors to the "Other Women" of  John Edwards and General Petraeuses.  Why are they all moving here?  And they live in the same neighborhood!! They are trying to blend with the Southern Belles.  Well, Bless their hearts.  Don't they know that Southern Belles will just be dripping with sweet words and casseroles but honey!! We will talk about you after you leave, sweetie!!  Maybe we could have another "Housewives" reality show filmed here.  We could call it "The Real Home Wreckers of Carolina".



Then I read that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have broken up.  What is this world coming to?  These 2 have been the cutest, sweetest couple that has ever graced the world!  I mean, look at their cute little faces.  Shouldn't they be together forever?  I guess not. Oh and that crazy Nicki Minaj is going around picking fights with everyone!  She is a real bad@$$.  First Mariah Carey and now Barbara Walters.  Mariah and Barbara had better watch out because Nicki is gangsta.  



The last article I read on Yahoo was titled "Are Humans Becoming Less Intelligent?"  Well, of course we are!!  They say that humans lost the evolutionary pressure to become more intelligent.  First of all, I don't believe in evolution so I call BS on the reasons that they cited.  Here is the reason that I think we have lost the drive to be more intelligent.  The Internet.  I mean, if you want to know anything you can just look it up on the Internet!!  And you know that everything that you read on the Internet is true because you cannot put anything on the Internet that isn't true.  Abraham Lincoln said so!!  I read that on the Internet. 

Life Lesson #15,054-Human Beings Do Dumb Things

Do we really do dumb things?  Yes, we do.  Of course we do.  Here are a few things that we do that make absolutely no sense whatsoever!

Mowing grass.  Why is that so dumb?  Well, we aerate the lawn.  We plant seeds.  We fertilize the ground.  We put hay on it.  We water it so it will grow and then we cut it.  Huh?  What a complete waste of time!! Why did we spend so much time making it grow only to cut it?  See?  That's a dumb thing!!


Golf.  Now y'all know that most sports are dumb if you really think about the point of the game but golf has got to be the dumbest.  You carry around sticks to hit a little ball into a little hole.  Just drive the golf cart over to the hole, drop it in and then you are done and you can go home!! Then you go and do this eighteen times.  Isn't once enough? Oh and those awful outfits!! Have mercy!!
 

Hair.  Now maybe this one is just me. Every year I want to grow my hair out.  It gets long and then it begins to get on my nerves.  Up in a ponytail it goes!!  I want to wear it long but I don't have the patience or talent to style it. So up in a high ponytail it goes.  Up in a low ponytail.  Up in a twisty bun.  Then I cut it off and hate it and grow it out again only to go back to the ponytail style over and over again.  It's a vicious cycle.
 

Fashion.  Why must we change "What's Hot" every year?  Let's just stick with what is hot right now for a couple of years so we don't have to buy what is hot this season, every season.  Enough!!!  I don't think we look all that bad right now.  I totally understand us changing what was "hot" in the 70's because that was just a hot mess!! But come on!!  Let's just stick with our style one more year so I don't have to buy any new clothes!!


Christmas.  This one is totally the fault of retailers.  Oh and all of us who fall for it every year.  Christmas is Jesus Christ's birthday, not ours.  Jesus was born of a virgin and died for our sins and we give each other gifts.  Huh?  Why not give to the poor?  If we all would donate the money that we spend on Christmas gifts to charity, there would be no poor or homeless people.  Seriously!!  One study said that the average American spends $750 on Christmas gifts.  That money would be better used by a local charity.  Now, I'm not saying to boycott Christmas because it is a fun time of year but why go into debt over Christmas?


Cell Phones.  We all need them, right?  Didn't we live without them 20 years ago?  Then I lived just fine with one installed inside my car for 10 years so just in the past 10 years have we became dependent on our cell phones. We wonder why we are stressed out all of the time?  Well, we are wired 100% of the time.  We feel guilty if we don't answer our phones.  There was a time where you could only catch us at home or at work but now with cell phones being easily portable, you cannot even take a nap on the beach in Fiji without having your cell phone wake you up with a phone call from North Carolina.  Hmmm.  Wonder why sales of medications for stress and anxiety are skyrocketing??  No downtime.


Pets.  What?  Humans aren't enough for you?  We've gotta keep up animals too?  They were living just fine without us for thousands of years.  Dogs, horses and oxen worked for us until 100 years ago.  Now we are our pets' servants!!  You know that we have to serve them, especially if you are a cat owner.  At least a dog will come when called.  My cats look at me like I have 3 heads if I call them.  I have to feed them, put water in their bowl and scoop their poop!  There is not a human being that I have to shovel poop for so why do I have to have a pet that I have to do it for?  That is insanity!!


Okay, yes I have more but y'all are getting bored so I will stop this blog right here!! Am I right though?  We are doing some dumb things!!