Lesson #150,158-When I Was a Kid...

150, 158-When I Was a Kid...

Okay, so when I was a kid, boy oh boy, were times very different.  No, we didn't have cell phones.  We had a phone in the kitchen with a 20 ft. cord so my Mom could cook dinner and talk on the phone at the same time.  It had a dial on it.  It was olive green.  It was the only phone in the house until I was about 10-years old and then there was one in the living room and my parent's bedroom.  Still had a dial on the phone though.  We didn't get "push button" phones until I was a teenager. 
 
We never had cable TV in my house growing up.  We lived out in the country and cable hadn't been buried out that far yet.  We had 4 channels.  NBC, ABC, CBS and an independent TV station, now a Fox station.  Sure, we could have gotten a satellite dish in the 80's but my Dad didn't see the sense in spending money on TV stations.

I didn't have cable TV until I went away to college.  Our dorm was equipped with FREE cable!!  I was so excited to have 20 channels!!  Funny thing was, we hardly ever watched TV in college and when we did we watched the same stations that I had always watched.

We didn't grow up with computers.  Windows were what we looked out of, not icons on our computer.  When we needed to do a report, essay, term paper or research, we had to go to the library and look it up in an encyclopedia.  In college, we used microfilm.  There was a card catalog in the library and we all knew how to use the Dewey Decimal System.  I bet if you asked a kid nowadays if they know what Dewey Decimal is, they would say "Who?". 

Once we  finished our research, we used typewriters to type our papers.  My roommate in college had her very own word processor.  It was awesome!!  It even had an eraser tape!!  Bye, Bye White Out!!  If she was using it, I had to go to the library and use a typewriter.  I didn't like using the typewriters.  I had to use White Out a lot!! 

I could never have imagined, in my wildest dreams, that 25 years later we would be so dependent on items that were not even available back then.  If I leave the house without my cell phone, I panic.  What did our parents do in carpool line rather than look at a phone and checking emails?  Oh, that's right.  They MADE us ride the bus!!  How did they know what to do all day long without constant texts from people telling us what to do next?  Oh, that's right.  They made a "To Do" list and went by that.  If it wasn't on the list, it didn't get done until the next day, when a phone call was made letting them know what to do.  What if a child was sick and a parent couldn't be reached at home or at work?  Oh, that's right.  We went to the nurses office and the nurse would tell us to suck it up until one of our parents could be reached or we would be sent back to class.  When we got home, if we forgot a book at school, that was just too bad.  My parents wouldn't drive back to the school to save my butt.  I should have remembered to bring all materials home with me.  What if I had left something at home that I had forgotten and didn't bring to school?  Same thing.  I got a big, fat ZERO on the assignment because my parents wouldn't bring it to me, the teacher wouldn't let us go to the office and use the phone to call home for it and the teacher wouldn't let us turn it in the next day.  If the assignment was due on Tuesday, it wouldn't be accepted on Wednesday.  No, my parents and teachers weren't terrible people.  That's just the way it was.  This would not go over well with today's helicopter parents!!!!

A "Tweet" was something that a bird did.  A "Post" was something that held up a fence or a sign.  A "Wall" wasn't something to write on.  (You would get into BIG trouble for that!!)  A "Feed" involved eating.  "Text" was something in a book that you probably didn't want to read.  A "Pin" was something to hem a skirt with.  A "Map" was something that was folded up in the glove compartment and you planned your trip by that map and you had better not miss a turn or you would drive 50 miles out of your way and have to stop at a gas station to figure out where you were supposed to turn.  A "Selfie", "FaceTime" and an "App" wasn't a thing.  We took pictures with a camera and had to wait 7 days to see if they were worthy of being "posted" in a picture frame.  We wrote letters.  We passed notes in class.  We waited for hours by the phone waiting for our boyfriends or a boy we liked to call us. (Back then girls didn't call boys!!)  Yahoo was something that cowboys would say.  Google was something that you did with your eyes.  If you wanted to know the weather, you had better watch the news at 6:00 or 11:00pm and you had to hope that the weatherman was right.  We didn't have spell check.  We had to learn how to write in cursive.  A "Snap Chat" would have been considered a quick talk.  If we wanted to hear a song, we had to call a local radio station and make a request.  Then we would record it on a cassette tape and hope that the DJ didn't talk over the beginning or the end.  A "flash drive" probably would have been someone "mooning" you as they drove past.  A "newsfeed" would have been the teleprompter that a newscaster would read on the news, which back then would have been cue cards.  Your "inbox" was your locker with a note stuck in the vents. 


I'm glad that I didn't grow up in a time when social media was a thing.  We had conversations with each other.  If we didn't like someone, we just didn't like them.  We didn't bash them on a "site" (which was a "place") for everyone to see.  We might pass a letter to them to let them know why we didn't like them but the entire world wouldn't be privy to our conversation. 

Wow.  Life sounds pretty darn primitive back then.  Yeah, I'm okay with that.  Life was much simpler back then.  Being plugged in 24/7 ain't what it's cracked up to be.  Just try to take a nap with your cell phone in the same room.  Impossible.

Lesson #15,148-Summer Time!!

Okay, So, I cannot decide if summer is too long or too short.  Our school runs on a year-round schedule but it is not really "year-round".  They do get about 6-7 weeks in the summer.  That is not very long and we all wish it was longer!!  But then again, if I hear "I'm bored.", "Can somebody come over to spend the night?", "What time will so-in-so be here?", "Can we go bowling?", "Can we go to the record store?", "I don't want to get up", "I don't want to go to the pool, or play soccer outside or ride my bike or do my summer reading or anything else that you suggest"!!!!!  "I'm hungry" is another of my least favorite sentences to hear.  "Can we go to Bojangles?" and "Can you pick me up some Chick-fil-a?" makes me want to cringe.

We are so lame that we didn't eat hotdogs and hamburgers on the 4th of July!!  We ate leftovers from Olive Garden.  How lame is that??  What is wrong with us??  We made up for it today and ate hamburgers for dinner.  Had to do it!  So, Happy 5th of July, People!!  We celebrated Cinco de Julio!

We are heading to the beach in a few days for one more week there before school starts back!  UGH!!  Okay, So is summer too short or too long?  I suppose it is according to the day that you ask me!  I am not looking forward to getting up early again and helping with homework and soccer practices and projects and book reports and all of that again!!  Then again, I won't have to fix lunch and snacks 100 times a day!!  After the beach, all we will have to look forward to is fall break!!  That is my favorite part of the year round schedule! 
 
So, tell me how you all are keeping your children occupied this summer.  Especially if you have an "Only Child"?  We have had a lot of sleepovers!!  Borrowing other people's kids are the way to go when I have only one!  They are probably tired of entertaining their multiples!!  So, I am helping them out, really!!  Right??

Lesson #15,103-I Had To Ask!!

Okay, so I asked a question on my Facebook page.  The question that I asked was "What did your Mama use to whoop your butt with?".  The number one answer was a hairbrush!!  I was shocked!  Being from The South, I was certain that the number one answer would be a flip flop!!  If you have ever been swatted with a flip flop, you know what that sting feels like.  Some of us got swatted with a fly swatter.  Some of us got swatted with a wooden spoon.  Some of us just got a regular ole swat with the hand!!  Either way, we all got whooped!!  Not one person said "My Mama didn't whoop me" or "I got Time Out when I was a kid".  Nope, not one person!! 

Why is it that none of us ever got "Time Out"?  I can tell you why!!  These kids nowadays have a darn (800) number to call if they get whooped!  Why didn't we have an (800) number to call?  I mean, my Mama pulled her car over on the side of the road and whooped my butt right there on the highway!  She didn't try to hide the fact that she was whooping me!  She didn't wait until we got home.  She did it right there in public!  On the side of the road!!  Of course, I don't think I ever sassed her again.  I knew better.

My husband told me a story about when he was young and he and his brothers were fighting in the car.  His Dad had enough of the boys being loud and trying to kill each other so he pulled the car over on the highway and made all of them get out and he drove away.  Luckily, his Mother was in the car and after about 15 minutes she made his Dad go back and pick them up!  My husband wasn't raised here in The United States but he said that they didn't have an (800) number to call either! 

These kids today are so lucky to have that (800) number!!  I have a feeling that if we all had that (800) number when we were kids, none of us would have had any parents!!  We all would have been raised by Foster Parents!  Okay, so I am not talking about real abuse.  I am talking about a few pops on the rear end when we deserved it.  Honestly, I can remember just the fear of the paddle that hung in the office of the school keeping me out of trouble.  We used to hear rumors about being paddled by the principal at school.  I remember hearing the "horror" stories.  Someone said that the paddle had holes in it.  This was supposed to make it sting more because it could travel faster through the air on the way to your butt!!  There was also a rumor about how the principal would wet the paddle to make it sting against your skin.  I swear that I only remember one person ever getting a paddling in school but his stories were so scary that the rest of us behaved ourselves in class so we didn't have to get paddled!!

So, what did your Mama or Daddy whoop you with??  Did you ever get paddled in school??  Can y'all believe that I never got paddled in school?  That's probably what's wrong with me today!! 

Life Lesson #15,037-Bullying Sucks

Life Lesson #15,037-Bullying Sucks

Disclaimer:  This blog is NOT a funny one!! 

I have to say that bullying has gone to a whole new level from when I was a kid.  Kids got laughed at and made fun of when I was going to school but nothing like it is these days.  With social media, email, cell phones and the Internet, kids have no chance of getting away from their bullies even when they are at home.  I have heard of kids making Facebook pages about hating another child.  I have heard about some kids having a Facebook, MySpace or even Instagram and kids "stalking" them and saying horrible things to them on the Internet for everyone to see.  I think it is very important that we all speak to our children about the consequences of bullying if they are caught doing it.  I also think this starts at home.  If a child hears their parents speaking horribly about another person, they will think it is okay.  I know that we all are guilty of doing it but we all need to think about what we say in front of them.
 

We need to teach our children that if they bully people then they will have serious consequences at home.  If your child is accused of bullying then you need to get to the bottom of it.  Don't look at that kid through rose colored glasses.  Bullies are really the wimpiest and most insecure people that have ever lived.  If someone is bullying or pushing around a child with a physical or mental ailment then they have serious issues that should be addressed.  Some kids have problems which cannot be seen by the naked eye.  These kids should be especially looked out for by our children.  They don't have to be best friends with someone to stand up for someone who is being bullied.  Kids with ADD, ADHD, Asperger's and Autism are often misunderstood as being weird but in reality sometimes they lack impulse control and cannot help the way they are acting.  I think kids should be sensitive to these kids.  Please, Please talk to your children about this.


Now bullying doesn't always look like a big boy pushing around a boy who is smaller than him.  Lots of times a bully can look like a beautiful young lady.  I hear Moms talking about how mean girls can be to each other and it makes me so sad.  Kids, teens and young adults live in the moment.  This is why they get in so much trouble.  They think that calling another girl ugly makes them look better or posting nasty things about other girls online makes them look tough.  Don't we all understand by now that suicide is now the way out for these kids who are being bullied?  Was it really worth it for a kid to kill themselves over someone posting something terrible, and usually not even true, about them?  No, of course not but like I said, kids live in the moment.  When you are my age, you could just care less what people say about you but most of the time kids don't have a choice who they are in a room, bathroom, locker room or hall with at school. If someone doesn't like me they can just avoid me and I can avoid them but not our kids! It's just not fair!!



So, what to do if your child is The Bully:
1.  Open your eyes and realize that your child is capable of that behavior.
2.  Realize that your child will probably not change after one talk or one punishment.
3.  Talk to your child about redirecting their bullying behavior to a leadership role.
4.  If you have been called by another parent or the school, make an appointment and talk to your child's teacher or principal and get to the bottom of it.
5.  Be clear that this behavior is unacceptable and follow through with consequences.
6.  Have a zero tolerance rule about bullying.
7.  Know your child's friends and talk to them often.
8.  If it persists talk to the school counselor or a medical/mental health professional.
9.  Let them know that this behavior is dangerous.
10. Make sure that your child understands respect.  By that I mean not only respecting others and their personal space but respecting themselves enough not to do this to others.

What to do if your child is Being Bullied:
1.  Again, open your eyes.  Don't just blow off your child and tell them that "So-n-so was just kidding."
2.  Make the school or other organization aware that this is happening and follow up often.
3.  Make sure that your child knows that they are loved and that they are important in this world.
4.  Encourage your child to walk to class, eat lunch or hang out on the playground with a friend. Strength in numbers.
5.  Make sure that your child has some sort of outlet or hobby.  An activity outside of school can be something to look forward to and enjoy and live for.  Kids who play sports or who have hobbies can blow off steam if they are doing something that they enjoy.
6. Teach your child to say, "STOP"!!
7.  Report this activity to the school and document all of the details of the incident, who was involved and who you reported the incident to at school.
8.  Remind your child that reporting a bully is not the same as tattling.
9.  Communicate with your child.  Talk, Talk, Talk.

If you have anything to add, please do so!

Life Lesson #15,025-School Projects Should Not Hurt My Self Esteem

Life Lesson #15,025-School Projects Should Not Hurt My Self Esteem

There is no way I could ever make up for the horrendous school projects that I have helped my child make.  When Jordan was in 2nd grade, he was assigned to make a diorama of what the earth looked like when the dinosaurs were alive.  Raise your hand if you know what the earth looked like when the dinosaurs were alive.  Yea, that's what I thought.  There aren't any photographs or drawings or written history left behind from the time of the dinosaurs.  That is, unless you can understand the cave drawings that have been found around the world but who knows when they were really drawn, right?  So anyway, he walked into that school with the most jacked up looking clay dinosaurs proudly displayed in the shoe box covered with construction paper.  I thought it was great!! I could not have been more proud.  UNTIL.  I walked in the library where each child had displayed their dioramas on top of the bookshelves all over the library.  There were masterpieces in that room!! I mean these kids have some real talent.  We have sculptors, paper mache prodigies and painters who should have artwork in The MOMA in NYC.  I tell you some of these kids had some amazing and creatively designed boxes!! Some didn't even use shoe boxes (like the directions explicitly stated to use.). Some kids used boot boxes.  Some kids used produce boxes.  Oh and did I mention that the directions also explicitly stated that the kids were to do this project all by themselves?  As we put my son's diorama down one of the 2nd grade teachers came straight over and ogled all over his sad little clay dinosaurs who looked more like bloody worms with large eyes and swollen feet.  As I walked my son to his classroom, I thought about how I was going to tell him that he was probably going to be in the "special" school next year because we would surely be kicked out of this fine school as soon as an administrator came through the library. I leaned down and gave him a kiss and almost darted to the door with the speed of Usain Bolt. I almost made it out the door and saw that obviously farsighted teacher who complimented my son on his model and she waved to me to come her way.  Just as I make it to her I burst into tears.  She asks, "What is wrong, sweetie?".  I said, "Did you see Jordan's dinosaur diorama? Why did you give it compliments when there are obvious masterpieces here in this room?".  She grabs me by my arm and says, "I gave him those compliments because those masterpieces in the library are obviously done by those kids' parents and I would rather see wormy, bug eyed dinosaurs done by a 7-year old than those bronze sculptures done by parents ANY DAY"!  I could have kissed her right there in front of twenty-four 2nd graders.


So now I know that most parents help their children with their projects.  I do allow him to do most of the work but I have helped him put together visual projects and they were pretty darn good if I do say so! Last year, in 6th grade, "WE" got a 92 on a project.  A 92???? We worked our butts off on that stupid project.  I was ready to go off on that psycho teacher! I deserved at least a 99 on that project.  I mean, he deserved at least a 99 on that project!! Seriously, did she not see how awesome that project was?  I was not invited to attend Carnegie Mellon for my artistic talents but they were as good as I could possibly do and that witch gives me a 92.  I mean, gave him a 92!!  How dare she!

(Read this like you are weeping uncontrollably.) This Sunday, between eating frozen Tyson chicken sandwiches and Domino's pizza, we had another project to do.  It was due yesterday and we worked on it all day!! It was great!! Sort of. But anyway, we got a 95 on it and again I am stabbed through the heart.  When will we...When will he get a 100???  I am gonna have to hire an artist to help my son with his projects from now on so we...he can get that elusive 100!!  I'm doing it!!  Any other parents out there have their self esteem seriously bruised by middle school teachers?  I may need therapy for many things but my bruised ego is right up there with issues which should be much more damaging to my psyche!!

Life Lesson #15,012-Kids Have Too Much Homework

Life Lesson #15,012-Kids Have Too Much Homework!
School has been in session for one month around our household and I am already ready for summer break next year!  My 12-year old son does more homework in the 7th grade than I ever did in college!  These kids don't have time to go outside and blow off steam.  They don't have time to talk to their friends or play video games or watch TV or ride bikes or socialize.  And you know what that means, right?  Neither does MOM!!  I remember being able to come home after school and have a snack and then do a few questions of homework and then getting to veg the rest of the afternoon.  That was living!!  No wonder there are so-called "Helicopter Parents".  They have to hover over the kids because they are having to help them with their homework!  Seriously, I can help with Science, English and Social Studies and my husband can help with Math. (He lost me in 3rd grade with Math!! Word problems may as well be in Russian.) But Spanish!! Nobody can help with Spanish in my house!! We had to buy one of those language programs for the computer because I took 3 years of French.  My husband speaks Dutch and Afrikaans.  A lot of good that does us!!  We have even had 2 music projects to do this year!! I mean, what happened to the music class like we had as kids? The crazy music teacher would come in with a big cardboard box and hand out some old beat up musical instruments and we would go to town beating on drums, playing horns, pinging the triangle and crashing the cymbals!  Music class was fun!!

Look let's just be really honest. Mama doesn't like homework very much and neither does Daddy.  Mama hasn't had a glass of wine on a week night since school started!  If Mama doesn't get her wine, Daddy doesn't get any.................wine either.  What did you think I was going to say?   Anyway, why can't kids be kids these days?  Everything is a competition now.  They have to make straight A's to get into college.  They have to play the best in their sport so they can get a scholarship.  They have to Study, Study, Study!!  They have to Train, Train, Train!!  Can't we just accept the fact that the Chinese are better than us and smarter than us and just go back to a simpler life?  I didn't mind being behind the Chinese when I was in school.  As long as we are smarter than the people of some small country in the Caribbean,  I'm good with being behind the Chinese!! KIDS NEED TO BE KIDS!! STOP THE MADNESS!!