Lesson #15,082-So This Is 2013?

2013 has started off pretty well so far, for me!!  My Gamecocks won the Outback Bowl yesterday and everyone gets a free bloomin' onion today!  You're welcome!!  Who wanted free coconut shrimp anyway? NOBODY!!  That's what you would have gotten if that other team had won.  2013 should be lucky for everyone!! 13 is supposed to be a lucky number.  It used to be an unlucky number but for some reason now it is a lucky number.  Didn't we not have a 13th floor in tall buildings because it was an unlucky number?  Oh well, it is going to be a great year!!  I am claiming it right now!!

Anyway, today is the day that the children go back to school.  Can I get a Hallelujah from all the moms?  "Hallelujah"!!  Oh come on, you know you said it!! Okay, really I didn't want them to go back to school today either.  Setting the alarm clock for the first time in 2 weeks was really horrible!!  I absolutely HATE waking up to an alarm, especially if I am having a really great dream.  I am mad at whatever wakes me up from a really great dream! 


This year I am going to try to stay on a "Schedule of Order".  Yes, I named it that.  I will be changing sheets on a certain day every week.  I am not one of those people who vacuums every day.  I do, however, love me some clean floors.  I vacuum all of my floors, even the hardwoods and the tile floors.  I hate a broom because I can never get all of the dirt into the dustpan.  I'm going to try to be a better housekeeper.  If you have ever been to my house, you know that I have a clean house but I have small piles of mail or magazines or whatever stacked here and there and it drives me insane!!  My husband does the same thing.  His piles drive me crazy and my piles drive him crazy.  Well, we cleaned up most of his piles yesterday and I guess that my piles are next! LOL!! I love cookbooks so I have a shelf in my kitchen full of cookbooks.  I am a sucker for a church cookbook so I have one from almost every denomination in North Carolina!  That shelf is a point of contention between my husband and I.  I love every cookbook and he hates the entire shelf!!








Let's all claim that 2013 is going to be our year!!  Even if it started off wrong so far, let's all reclaim it!!  Keep reclaiming it every day if you have to!!  As we say here in the South, "Doggone it"!!!  YES, 2013 WILL BE A GREAT YEAR!!!  Of course, I haven't left the house since 2012 so let's just hope that my big plans for a great year aren't ruined by the outside world today!! I've got to drive carpool this week and it's gonna be great!!!  Well, the afternoon shift will be anyway!  I hate the morning shift!  I have to go to the grocery store today so I proclaim that I will not get behind any extreme couponers!!  I proclaim that anytime that I need gas this year that it will be sunny and 70 degrees!!  I proclaim that I have at least one hour per day to look at a Pottery Barn or Restoration Hardware catalog!!  I proclaim that from now on my body will not absorb any calories from Nutella!!  I proclaim that this year is gonna be the year that I become a size 4 again!!  Oh who am I kidding?  I proclaim to take more naps!!!  It's 2013 so let's do this!!!!!!

Life Lesson #15,050-Your Children Only Get One Childhood

Okay, this one is for parents.  We all know how quickly time passes but to our children, their childhood passes slowly.  The longest 12 years of my life were when I was in school.  I remember how slowly time seemed to creep by.  Once I got married and started a family time sped up.  As soon as my son was born, life has seemed to pass at light speed.  I have to remember that for him time is passing slower than for me.  I have to remember that he only has one childhood.  Will he look back on his childhood and smile?  Will he say that I was always there for him?  Will he think that I spent enough time with him?  Will he feel loved?  Will he want to come home to visit or just come see us at Christmas, out of obligation?  When he gets married will he want to live nearby or want to move as far away as possible?  All of these questions are being determined right now and I have to remember this. If I don't want my son to move across the country when he grows up, I have to play Checkers with him now.  If I want to enjoy seeing my grandchildren in 25 years, I had better give him hugs and kisses today.

 

Life gets so busy and everyone knows that I love a nap but it is more important to make sure that my son knows that I have time for him than to take a nap sometimes.  I miss that snuggle time that we used to have when he was younger.  I could wrap my arms around him and he would snuggle up to me and go to sleep in 5 minutes.  Now he's too big and too busy and sometimes too stinky!!  I really miss those days!! Like I said, it goes too fast.  Speed of light fast!!  If you have ever read the book "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch, you know the unconditional love that any good mother has for her children.  It's the kind of love that fills your entire heart.  It cannot be explained.  It can only be felt.  You feel it the moment you look into the face of your child for the first time. 

 

Okay so my point in all of this rambling is that our children get to be kids once and we only get one chance to be great parents.  Our words shape who they are and who they become.  Our time means more to our children than what we can give them materially.  We are responsible for their needs.  Their needs include not only clothing, food and shelter but also time! That is the one thing that costs us nothing but means so much. Spend time with your "babies" today!!  (Forever my baby you'll be.) 

Life Lesson #15,034-Raising Kids To Be Good Adults

#15,034-Raising Kids To Be Good Adults, Not Good Kids

I don't care what anyone says, being a parent is the hardest job ever!  You have one chance to get it right.  If you are the mother then you will be the one who gets blamed for any character flaws in your child.  If they are spoiled, it's your fault.  If they are "trouble" then it's your fault.  If they have any problem whatsoever, it is your fault.  For some reason, the Dads get off free and clear!! I don't get it.  Aren't Dads half of the parents?  Anyway, we are raising these children to be good adults and we have to remember that.  If we are just trying to raise good kids then most of us have succeeded but then when they become teens some of them get lost to the struggles of being a young adult.  Some kids who are raised with very tight restrictions become wild animals when they are finally allowed some freedom and some kids turn out fine.  Some kids who are given free reign turn into homeless drug addicts and some turn into very responsible adults. So what do we do?  How do we know what is the right way to raise our children?  I mean, some kids who are raised in church or even by pastors are awesome kids and others rebel.  Some of the most rotten kids I knew were the pastors' kids.  I remember one bringing beer to school and drinking it in middle school.  Some of the nicest people that I know now, have never even been to church. I think every child is different.  Every kid should be raised on a case by case basis.  See what works for your particular child and do that.  Some kids will need an occasional spanking, some can just be threatened with taking away a toy and they will never stray!  Before you start telling me how horrible spanking is, I am not for beating or prolonged spanking but a little swat on the rear end has done wonders for my son.  He hasn't had one in many years but I can threaten it and he straightens right up.  The last time he got one, he had been talking during church and being disruptive and he deserved it.  He got a swat on the rear end when he was three for lying to me and he has not lied to me again.  That was 10 years ago.  He may start lying to me tomorrow and never tell me the truth ever again but so far it worked.

 

So what is the correct form of parenting?  Whose book should we go by?  Dr. Sears?  John Rosemond?  Or should we just maybe take a little from each and use whatever advice works for us.  To spank or not to spank?  To use Time Out or not?  Take away toys/gadgets?  Ground them?  Maybe it all changes and continues to change as they grow up.  Maybe one thing works for you from birth until they are 18-years old.  Maybe nothing works at all.  Every child is different just like every adult is different. I've seen two children raised in the same house and raised by the same parents with the same parenting style and the kids are totally different.  I've even seen twins who are completely different. I know some of it has to do with birth order or only children or if a sibling dies but it still amazes me. 
 

I think that just spending time with our children daily and letting them know that they are loved is the best thing that we can do for them.  Now before anyone starts saying, "But you only have one child.  It's so easy to do with one child", I just want to say that it isn't that hard to give 10 children a hug and a kiss and tell them that you love them.  Take that time everyday to tell each one of your children that you love them.  Never EVER let their head hit the pillow at night without you telling them that you love them.  Even on the days that they aren't that lovable remind them that you love them and that no matter what, you always will.  I can't think of one thing that my son could ever do or say that would make me not love him.  Okay, that being said, I am not the perfect parent and I'm not sure that there ever was a perfect parent besides our Heavenly Father and he loves us all unconditionally.  So here is to all of us who are striving to be the best parent that we can be!! Hug and kiss those kiddos today and every day after that!! They grow up so fast.

Life Lesson #15,028-Daily Annoyances. I Guess Mine Aren't So Bad..

Life Lesson #15,028-Daily Annoyances. I Guess Mine Aren't So Bad.

These are some of the annoyances of a suburban, stay-at-home mom.
-  Walking away from 2 "girlfriends" knowing that they are going to talk about you when you walk away.
-  157 emails. 1 that is important.
-  Ponytail holder won't go around 3 times.  2 is not tight enough.
-  No parking space near the cart return.
-  People assuming that since I'm a stay-at-home mom I can drop everything for their B.S.
-  Phone calls during my nap.  (Usually people thinking I have time for their B.S. I don't I only have time for one nap today.)
-  My husband leaving lists of things for me to get done during the day.  (I'm ADD.  I will not do 3 of those things just because.)
-  Reruns of "The Real Housewives of..." (Show only new ones!!!)
-  Having to pee 10 minutes before the alarm clock goes off.
-  No cell phone service.
-  Squeaky/Bumpy  wheel on the grocery cart.
-  The cat waiting on me to finish cleaning out the litter box to go poop. (Literally she sits and waits at the door for me to clean it out!! UGH!!)
-  The child or children asking Dad "Where's Mom?" then asking me for a drink.  WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST ASK DAD?!!
-  The FedEX/UPS Driver coming to my house AFTER my husband gets home.  I tell him every time to Come Early!!!

My #1 annoyance is this...Internet Banking!! It had to be a man who came up with that!  It certainly wasn't a woman.  No woman I know wants her husband to be able to look at the bank statement and Visa card bill any day, anytime.  I used to get chewed out once per month.  Now it is every other day!! People should only be able to look at Pinterest, Facebook and my blog every day and that's it!!

Okay, I do realize that I don't worry about things that other people around the world have to worry about and I get annoyed by things that would thrill people in third world countries but these are some of the annoyances in my pitiful life.  I guess I must be blessed if this is all I have to complain about but some of these make me say bad words!! Don't call me today and ask if I can pick you up a head of lettuce while I am out!  I will have to go all bat $h!+ crazy on you!!

Life Lesson #15,025-School Projects Should Not Hurt My Self Esteem

Life Lesson #15,025-School Projects Should Not Hurt My Self Esteem

There is no way I could ever make up for the horrendous school projects that I have helped my child make.  When Jordan was in 2nd grade, he was assigned to make a diorama of what the earth looked like when the dinosaurs were alive.  Raise your hand if you know what the earth looked like when the dinosaurs were alive.  Yea, that's what I thought.  There aren't any photographs or drawings or written history left behind from the time of the dinosaurs.  That is, unless you can understand the cave drawings that have been found around the world but who knows when they were really drawn, right?  So anyway, he walked into that school with the most jacked up looking clay dinosaurs proudly displayed in the shoe box covered with construction paper.  I thought it was great!! I could not have been more proud.  UNTIL.  I walked in the library where each child had displayed their dioramas on top of the bookshelves all over the library.  There were masterpieces in that room!! I mean these kids have some real talent.  We have sculptors, paper mache prodigies and painters who should have artwork in The MOMA in NYC.  I tell you some of these kids had some amazing and creatively designed boxes!! Some didn't even use shoe boxes (like the directions explicitly stated to use.). Some kids used boot boxes.  Some kids used produce boxes.  Oh and did I mention that the directions also explicitly stated that the kids were to do this project all by themselves?  As we put my son's diorama down one of the 2nd grade teachers came straight over and ogled all over his sad little clay dinosaurs who looked more like bloody worms with large eyes and swollen feet.  As I walked my son to his classroom, I thought about how I was going to tell him that he was probably going to be in the "special" school next year because we would surely be kicked out of this fine school as soon as an administrator came through the library. I leaned down and gave him a kiss and almost darted to the door with the speed of Usain Bolt. I almost made it out the door and saw that obviously farsighted teacher who complimented my son on his model and she waved to me to come her way.  Just as I make it to her I burst into tears.  She asks, "What is wrong, sweetie?".  I said, "Did you see Jordan's dinosaur diorama? Why did you give it compliments when there are obvious masterpieces here in this room?".  She grabs me by my arm and says, "I gave him those compliments because those masterpieces in the library are obviously done by those kids' parents and I would rather see wormy, bug eyed dinosaurs done by a 7-year old than those bronze sculptures done by parents ANY DAY"!  I could have kissed her right there in front of twenty-four 2nd graders.


So now I know that most parents help their children with their projects.  I do allow him to do most of the work but I have helped him put together visual projects and they were pretty darn good if I do say so! Last year, in 6th grade, "WE" got a 92 on a project.  A 92???? We worked our butts off on that stupid project.  I was ready to go off on that psycho teacher! I deserved at least a 99 on that project.  I mean, he deserved at least a 99 on that project!! Seriously, did she not see how awesome that project was?  I was not invited to attend Carnegie Mellon for my artistic talents but they were as good as I could possibly do and that witch gives me a 92.  I mean, gave him a 92!!  How dare she!

(Read this like you are weeping uncontrollably.) This Sunday, between eating frozen Tyson chicken sandwiches and Domino's pizza, we had another project to do.  It was due yesterday and we worked on it all day!! It was great!! Sort of. But anyway, we got a 95 on it and again I am stabbed through the heart.  When will we...When will he get a 100???  I am gonna have to hire an artist to help my son with his projects from now on so we...he can get that elusive 100!!  I'm doing it!!  Any other parents out there have their self esteem seriously bruised by middle school teachers?  I may need therapy for many things but my bruised ego is right up there with issues which should be much more damaging to my psyche!!

Life Lesson #15,024-I May Or May Not Be A Horrible Stay-At-Home Mom

Life Lesson #15,024-I May Or May Not Be A Horrible Stay-At-Home Mom.
I'm not sure but I may or may not be very good at my job as a stay-at-home mom.  First of all, I am unclear about the "Stay At Home" part because I feel like I am always on the road.  Maybe we should be called "Stay-in-the SUV" Moms or "Stay-in-the-Minivan" Moms or "Stay-at-the Soccer Field" Moms or Football or Baseball or Volley Ball or Basketball or Dance Studio or Cheerleading or whatever field, court or studio or rink that you happen to spend your life at.  Also, there is the grocery store, Walmart or Target, school functions, parent/teacher meetings, community service, field trips, play dates...Wow, I could go on and on about where Moms travel every day.  We spend a lot of time in the carpool line at school!! We eat, do homework, change clothes, read, have serious talks and super hilarious conversations about bodily functions, all in the car!!
 

Then there are those Moms who post stuff on Facebook that they are doing during the day and I feel like a total piece of crap.  "Heading to the school with fresh baked muffins for little Joe's class".  "Got a fresh baked pie in the oven for my BFF".  "Can't wait for my husband to get home and see the home made dinner that I made for him".  "I have cleaned the house all day long and made filet mignon for dinner".  Just so y'all know, I hate you all!! I made those Tyson Chicken Breast filet sandwiches for Sunday lunch yesterday.  Why didn't I make a pot roast with carrots and potatoes like a good mama would?  Oh and Thank You Domino's Pizza for dinner last night!! Mwaah!!
I actually vacuumed out the couch a few days ago, because I can't even remember the last time that I did it, and I found cookie parts, pencils, popcorn, a small human being, $100,000 in coins and a Maserati. The Maserati was, unfortunately, a Matchbox Maserati car but I found one!! And how does sand get underneath the cushions?  First of all, we live in North Carolina where there is no sand except for the beach and second of all, who is this person with sandy pants??


Then there are those Martha Stewart types who sew.  You know who you are!! I can sew on a button and that's about it.  And when I sew on a button, that bad boy is never, ever coming off again, EVER!! I see Moms who can sew little dresses for their little girls, make window treatments for their house, pillows and even quilts!! I don't even know how to thread a sewing machine much less sew a straight line.  On Pinterest it says that you can make a cute little dress out of a pillow case for a little girl.  I see dresses like this in boutiques selling for $60 and up!!  Why don't I know how to sew?  I could be making pillow case dresses all day long instead of pinning stuff on Pinterest and driving kids around everywhere!! I could hire someone to drive the kids around!!!!




Then we Moms feel guilty for having a GNO (Girls Night Out) once a month.  Why do we feel guilty about that?  I mean, we are the ones who do everything for the kids 29 days a month and we ask Dad to pitch in and help for one day a month and we feel guilty and end up getting home before 10:00, usually to find that Daddy hasn't even put the kids to bed yet and has given them Coca-Cola and Pixy Stix and cannot figure out why he cannot control them. Literally the kids are burning down the house and Daddy looks like he has no idea that they have left the house to buy the gas and matches!! And the guys have to have Boys Night Out once a week!! The men come in after midnight and the kids have been asleep for hours and so have we moms!! We know better than to give kids Pixy Stix after 2pm!!


Alright, I am probably not the best Mom in the entire world but I have a healthy and happy child who probably doesn't get enough leafy green vegetables in his diet. There is probably more dirt on my floor than I care to admit to but my kid can tell you with 100% certainty that I love him.  I've never forgotten to pick up the carpool kids up from school. I've never left my child in a hot car.  I've never forgotten to feed my kid. I've kept him alive for almost 13 years and I've never had DSS called on me before!! Hallelujah! I must not be too HORRIBLE!  You, probably, are not either!! Go ahead and pat yourself on the back for not being a horrible Mom!! Whoop!! Whoop!!

But hey, they do need something to tell their therapist about when they are adults.  Can't send 'em to therapy without any material!!

Life Lesson #15,014-Does Parenting Get Easier?

Life Lesson #15,014-Does Parenting Get Easier?
Well, does it?  Do we ever stop worrying about them?  When we have a little baby and we're getting no sleep we wonder if it will ever get easier.  Then it does.  Well, it gets better when the baby starts sleeping through the night but then there are other things to worry about. Then the baby is getting heavy and you wonder if it will get any easier when they start to walk.  Then it does but then they want to walk around everywhere and you have to watch them every second of the day or the kid will be in the street.  Then they start preschool and you have a little extra time in the morning and you expect to get more done since you have 3 hours without the kid/kids.  Once you get the kid to preschool and get home to take your shower and get ready, you get beds made and 2 loads of laundry done, it is time to pick up the kid from school.  Then you wonder if it gets any better when the kids go to elementary school. It does.  It gets better because you have a little more time but you miss the kids when they are gone and you have other things to worry about.  You have to worry about teachers, homework, friends, grades, sports, and extracurricular activities.  Then there is middle school.  We all remember middle school and kids can be so mean. Then High School. High school and fitting in and making good choices and making good grades to get into a good college. Then College!!  Ugh, College. Then Marriage.  Then our children have children.  Then we take worrying to a whole different level.  Then we have to worry about our children, their husband or wife and our grandchildren.  The cycle starts all over again. 

I don't really think that once you have a child of your own you can rest easily ever again.  It's a love that nobody could ever explain to you.  You just have to experience it yourself to understand.  I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love my child.  It's just that different kind of love that takes your breath away.  Kittie Franz once said, "Remember you are not managing an inconvenience, you are raising a human being".  So, I guess it gets easier in some ways but gets harder in others.  Children can drive you crazy some days but when you are away from them, you miss them.  I haven't had a hot meal in almost 13 years because I have to make sure that everyone else has their dinner, drinks, utensils and napkins before I can even put my food on my plate.  I haven't been to the bathroom by myself in almost 13 years either.  If it's not my child it is one of the cats!!  I mean really...give me 2 minutes to pee!! Does anyone else hide the good chocolate?  If it's Hershey's, you can have it!! If it's Cadbury, it's MINE!! And nobody had better touch my Nutella!! But I wouldn't change a thing!  I would gladly have sleepless nights for the rest of my life for my child.  I love you, Boo Boo!!