Lesson #15,065-Stuff Moms Say

There are some things that only moms say.  If you have infants or toddlers, you say a lot of things that you wouldn't normally say.  They sound insane unless you are a mom and you have actually said these things before.  Some things a mom of an infant may say:  "Awe. Look at that cute little poop".  "Who puked on my new shoes? You did, you cute little lima bean".  "What are you doing you sweet little punkin? You need to go to sleep precious". "Whose little man is up again at 3am?"

Conversation changes a little when they are not newborn infants.  When they are just babies it starts like this:  "Holy Cow, that is a huge poop!!"  "That Stinks!!"  "Another outfit ruined by baby puke.  I think I will just wear black pajamas until this kid is 5!"  "Puh leeze GO TO SLEEP!!!"  "Why, oh why, are you up again at 3am? Shouldn't you be sleeping through the night by now!??!"  "Doctor, this baby is driving me insane.  Why isn't she sleeping through the night yet?"

Toddler conversation..."Take that out of your nose!!"  "Don't put that in your ear!"  "Stop biting the cat." "Where did you find that binky?"  "Is that dog fur between your teeth?"  "How did you get pancakes in your diaper?"  "Is that a pea in your belly button?"  "What happened to my other shoe?"  "Is that catfood in your mouth?"  "Dear God, please help me not to lose my mind today!"  "Are those teeth marks on the vacuum cleaner?" "Please don't go out the doggie door again, son!" "Don't eat the Crayon!!"  "Don't eat the Play-Doh!"  "Don't eat the remote control!!"

The conversation is ever evolving as the child ages but we still sound mental to those who haven't been blessed with children yet.  Who else do you ask if they have brushed their teeth?  Who else do you check on just to be sure they are breathing?  Who else would you die for?  Who else would you pull snot plugs out of their nose for?  Who else would you have to save the parakeet from?  Who else do you read the same book to every night for 4 years?  Who else do you sing "You Are My Sunshine" to every morning?  Who else have you kissed a billion times and it still isn't enough?  Who else would you change back to that projectile puking, stinky poopey diapered, helpless baby if given the chance?  I would clean green peas out of his belly button every day if I could make my son little again.  And I would do it in a heartbeat!!!  Wouldn't you??