Lesson #15,091-Annoying Things In Life

Okay, so don't get me wrong.  There are so many amazingly wonderful things in life to enjoy like a bright sunny day at the beach, having a picnic in your backyard, building a campfire and roasting marshmallows and swimming in your next door neighbors pool when they are out of town.  Oops!!  Those are some of the fun things in life!!  These are some of the annoying things that I would like to do away with:

1.  The alarm clock!  Do they not make one alarm clock that won't annoy me first thing in the morning?  I absolutely hate the alarms and if I set it to music then I will hate the song that wakes me up forever!!  If I see that little Justin Bieber today, I am gonna punch him in the throat.  (I'm just kidding.  Don't let any 10-14 year old girls see this!!)

2.  Taking a shower!  Why do we have to shower every day?  It is a total waste of valuable time.  You just have to do it again tomorrow.  Plus it adds to the laundry pile!  Let's all go on a shower strike!!

3.  Potty breaks!!  What a waste of time!!  I put it in to stay in!  Why do I drink water only to have to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes?  I am trying to stay hydrated and I keep dehydrating myself by peeing!!  Annoying, right?

4.  Dishes!  Dishes are a complete waste of time.  Let's do away with plates and cups and drink in disposable ones so we can have more time with family and friends!  Oh.  The environment!!  Let's use those recyclable plates and cups!!  (Don't wanna make the environmentalists angry!!)

5.  Traffic!!  Oh.  My.  Word.  What a waste of time!  If you live here in Union County, NC, you know what a pain traffic is and what a complete waste of time!!  I am so tired of it taking me 30 minutes to go 2.2 miles and back!!

6.  Sweeping, mopping and vacuuming.  Another complete waste of time.  We walk on the floors so, naturally, these are where the dirt ends up.  I swear to you that five minutes after my floors are clean, there will be a troop of boys stomping through the house.  I understand that if I don't clean the floors that it will look really bad but I swear that if I clean the floors one more time and a little boy stomps grass and dirt into my kitchen again, I'm gonna pop him up side the head!!  (To those of you who read my blog and don't know what being "Popped up side one's head" means, it is not a term of endearment.  It is literally a slap on the side of one's head.)

7, 8, 9, and 10.  Laundry.  Need I say more?  Why are towels in my laundry basket?  You are clean when you get out of the shower, right?  You are just drying yourself off, right?  Hang the darn towel up and use it again, fool!!  Okay, I see why we need to launder our undies often but come on!!  You can wear that "Hand wash Only" sweater more than once.  (More like 54 times before I am gonna hand wash it!!)   You know that you don't hand wash your "Hand Wash Only" sweater every time you wear it either!! 

I love this idea of a chore list for children.  Would it be too much for me to have my one child do all of the annoying things around the house?  I mean, just the laundry, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, dishes and waking ME up in the morning.  That's not too much is it??