Lesson #15,096-ABC's of Friendship

Okay, so we all have friends who are awesome and some who don't have as much awesomeness as the others.  Don't email me to see which friend you are!!

A is for Annoying-That friend who is annoying. Only talks about herself, her life, her children, her whatever.
B is for Bitch-That friend who takes offense to EVERYTHING!! You are constantly apologizing for something.
C is for Critic-That friend who complains about everything, everyday, every time you talk to them!
D is for Ding-a-ling-The airhead. Never gets a joke. A joke isn't funny if you have to explain it.
E is for Eccentric-Otherwise known as the weird one.
F is for Fool-That friend who gets "done dirty" by everyone!  Girlfriend, Wake Up!!
G is for the Gossip-That friend who gossips about everyone (UGH) but she better tell me what she knows!!!
H is for Ho-That friend who has slept with 100 men and doesn't care who knows it!! (But you've gotta love her!)
I is for Innocent-That friend who has never drank, smoked, done anything wrong and married her high school sweetheart.
J is for the Jewel-That one friend who you cannot live without!! You tell everything and you trust 100%.
K is for Butt Kisser-That one friend who kisses your butt so she can hang out with you!! I know that I do not look great when you see me at Target without makeup and in my gym clothes!! Shut Up!!
L is for Lush-That one friend who is always drunk!! You have to love her too!!
M is for Martha Stewart Type-That friend who you would like to be like, but you would rather take a nap instead of bake a damn cake on a Wednesday.
N is for Narcotic-Some friends are on too many and some friends need to be on at least one!!
O is for Optimist-That friend who sees the best in people even when they are total jerks!
P is for Pessimist-That friend who thinks everyone is out to get them!
Q is for Quack-This is the one who thinks she's a doctor and diagnoses you with some horrible disease every time you have a sniffle!
R is for Ruin-That friend who ruins your story every time because she has been there and done that bigger and better than anyone ever has!!
S is for Silly-That friend who is silly as crap.  Will say anything at any time and doesn't care who is around.
T is for Tattle Tale-That friend who can't keep her mouth shut and tells everything that you say!!
U is for Ultra motivated-This is the friend who gets up and runs 10 miles, goes to the gym and does a class for 2 hours, goes and plays a game of tennis or golf and then has one leaf of lettuce for lunch. She's probably skinny too. (Bitch)
V is for Vulgar-This is the friend who says way too many curse words. (Umm. That may be me!)
W is for Well-educated-This is that friend who has every graduate degree that is possible to get and her jokes go way over your head and you sit there and laugh anyway. Yep. You've got one too!!
X is for Xerox-You know?? The Xerox copy of someone else. People, be yourself. Not someone else!
Y is for Yawner-This friend is so boring that you have to take a nap before seeing her so you don't snore while she is talking. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
Z is for Zero.  This chick is the one who always wants to have lunch with you or go shopping with you and you just have ZERO time to see her.  EVER!!  (And will never have time to see her!! If you are lucky!)

Lucky for me, I am blessed with Jewels!!!