Lesson #15,102-Unexpected "Joys" of Parenting

Okay, so there are many, many firsts that go along with being a mother that you expect but there are some that are totally unexpected!!  Before I had a child, I was sure of the wet spot on the carpet.  I knew exactly what it was and how to clean it but after having a child, you can never be sure if it is spilled apple juice or pee.  Never trust the child to give you the truthful answer!!  If there is gooey, sticky stuff ground into the carpet you can bet it is probably the gummy bear that you gave the child a week ago but who can be sure now??

When I was young, staying up all night was much different than staying up all night with a baby.  Well, maybe not that different.  Babies drink, get sleepy and puke.  Maybe it is the same!!  This time I am the one getting puked on!!  Everyone wonders why moms of babies either cut their hair short or wear a ponytail all of the time.  Well, here is your answer...We don't enjoy the smell of puke in our hair!!  Everyone thinks that babies are helpless little creatures but in reality they are very savvy little boogers!  They will find a way to ruin your favorite dress.  Ever had your hair pulled by someone who is angry at you?  Well, that was nothing compared to having your hair pulled by a baby.  You WILL walk away with a bald spot!!

I never thought I would have to tell someone not to lick the TV.  I never thought I would sanitize pacifiers, bottles and toys only to have the child chew on his shoe.  I never thought I would get so excited to hear my child's first word and now wonder if they let him speak at school because when he gets into the car in the afternoon, he cannot shut up!!  I never thought dumb or stupid were bad words until my toddler said them.  For some reason those words don't sound very good coming from a 3-year old!  Being the stellar example that I am I had to clean up my language around the toddler because they repeat every word that you say!  Yes, one of my son's first words was $hi+!! Oh Goodness!!!!

I never thought I would spend my days vacuuming cookie crumbs from under the couch cushions.  I never thought I would throw a towel over sheets that have been peed on and tell my toddler to go back to bed!  (Don't judge!!  Big Mama needs her sleep!) I never knew that milk could solidify in a sippy cup.  I found one under my son's bed and I wasn't even sure how long it had been there!!  (Apple juice molds!!)  I never thought I would tire of cleaning those cute little hand prints off of glass doors, windows, walls and every other surface that is 3 ft. tall!! Yet, after a few thousand times, I DID!!!  Do you know that cleaning projectile vomit from those little cracks in the TV speakers, is not that fun!!  Never underestimate a child with a Blow Pop.  Never leave a 2-year old and a cat alone in a room.  One of them will end up with scratches and bite marks and the baby may get hurt too.

With all of that said, I don't want my child to think that I don't love him and that I would not do it all over again if I had to because I would!  My son has added so much love and joy to my life.  The day he was born and I looked into his little face, I thought my heart would explode.  He was the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen.  Still is.  There have been more wonderful unexpected joys than bad ones.  Plus, if I didn't have to clean vomit from the TV speakers with a toothpick, I wouldn't be writing this blog!!  So, Thank you, son for puking across the room and into the TV speakers!! Mwaah!!