Lesson #15,118-Undercover Boss At My House?

Okay, so last night I was watching the TV show "Undercover Boss".  If you've never seen it before, it is about the big boss of a company going into the trenches of his business, undercover and seeing how the little people really do their jobs.  Actually, this show is genius.  I think if you own a restaurant chain, you should know what goes on your sandwiches or if you run a hotel, you should know if the front desk software is too slow.  So I started thinking about it.  What if someone came in, undercover, and watched me do my job?  What would they say to me when they called me into the office?  I'm pretty sure the CEO would fire me.  Apparently, it is frowned upon to wear pajamas all day.  It is frowned upon to take a nap on the job.  It is frowned upon to take personal phone calls on the job.  It is frowned upon to check Facebook every 30 minutes.  It is frowned upon to talk back to the boss!  It is also frowned upon to sleep with the boss!!!!!  Since I am a stay-at-home Mom, I sleep with the boss!
 
I probably take too many breaks.  I probably take a longer lunch than I should.  I am easily sidetracked.  I'm kind of like the dog who sees the squirrel when I am supposed to be doing something else.  Remember the commercials on TV that said "This is your brain.  This is your brain on drugs.  Any questions?"  Well, This is your brain on ADD.  "Hmm.  I think I will load the dishwasher. Oh but there are still dishes in the washer.  Ugh the sink needs cleaning.  The dish towels need washing.  Well, if I am going to wash the dish towels I may as well wash the bath towels too.  The sheets need washing today.  Eww.  Look at the floor in the kitchen.  Wow, the dining room table is dusty!!  The cat needs to go out.  Oh look!!  There is a cobweb in the corner. I think I will just take a nap instead.  Oh but I need to check Facebook before I take my nap."  True story!!

The BOSS would not be happy!!!  I would get called into the office and given my walking papers.  I would not be one of those employees who were given a promotion.  I would not be given money or a vacation.  I would not be told what a special employee I am.  Well, maybe Abbey would think I am special because I am the only one who can keep up with her rigorous nap schedule.  Abbey is my cat.  She sleeps 18 hours a day, like humans should!! 

Lesson #15,058-Part 2 of Medical Office Stories

So I told a story yesterday about one of the events that happened in a medical office that I worked in so let's see if we can think of any more!! There really are so many stories that I will have to narrow it down to a few good ones.  One of the funniest things that happened was this...There was a little old lady who was always calling or coming in and wanting something, like every day!!  Demanding that the doctor see her immediately.  Demanding, very demanding.  Anyway, if the doctor had any type of in office surgical procedure, such as a mole removal, skin tag removal, freezing off warts, etc. he wanted them scheduled as the very last patient of the day because sometimes they take longer than expected.  Well, on this one day the little old lady brought in 12 pages of paperwork from her insurance company that she needed filled out.  She brought it in when we opened for the day and the doctor hadn't gotten there yet so she dropped the papers off and left.  She returned at about 10:00am and wanted to pick up her papers.  Of course the doctor had not had time to fill them out so she said that she would come back later and we told her that she didn't need to come back without calling first to be sure the paperwork was done.  She said, "Okay" and left.  She dropped back by around noon hoping that maybe the doctor had been able to get them done and we told her again that he had not had time to fill out the paperwork but that we would call her when he had gotten them done.  She left and I swear to you, she came back at 4:00 and we promised her that he had one patient left at 4:30 and would have her paperwork done by 5:00. Well, our last patient was a mole removal.  Now this mole was on this poor man's forehead and if you have ever cut your forehead you know that a head injury bleeds really bad.  Anyway, so me and the other nurse in the office went into the room with the doctor and removed the mole off of the patient's forehead and wow did that thing bleed!! I mean, he bled and bled and we ended up wrapping his head in gauze and the blood even had soaked through that when he was checking out and the old lady walked right in and back to the checkout area to pick up her paperwork because we had promised her that it would be ready.  She runs right into the man who had just had his mole removed and saw all of the gauze and blood and then he had a drop of blood that ran down his forehead and across his face and she said, "Oh my God!!! What happened to that man?" and without missing a beat the other nurse looked at her and said, "He needed some paperwork filled out!"  and we all laughed until we cried!!  That old lady got the hint and didn't bug us for at least 2 weeks!!

Okay, so one last quick story.  I never had anyone pass out on me while I was drawing blood except for one time and that was when a man completely tattooed with 2 sleeves, calves, hands, chest and all.  He told me that he was afraid of needles and I said "Oh hahahaha, sure you are" and he said "No really I am" and I totally laughed at him.  I thought he was kidding because if you can live through tattoos you cannot be that afraid of needles.  Well as soon as I stuck the needle in his arm his eyes rolled back in his head, he turned white as a ghost, broke out in a cold sweat and BAM!!!  He started sliding down in the chair.  I thought, "Well there goes my perfect record and why did it have to be on YOU!!"  How can someone have 47 tattoos and be afraid of needles?  Amazing!!

Lesson #15,057-Life In A Medical Office Is Funny Sometimes

Y'all in my former life I was a medical assistant and worked in a doctor's office.  Man did we have fun!!  Seriously, there are a lot of things that go on in a medical practice that are freaking hilarious.  Sometimes we had sad days when we had to give someone bad news but some days we had fun with our patients.  I can tell a few stories but I will not be able to name names because of HIPPA Laws.  None of you would know who any of these people are and I can't remember anyone's name anyway so here ya go...



#1  The doctor that I worked for had just started a new practice in a small town and he was 1 of only 2 doctors in town.  Everyone knew that the other doctor was a quack so everyone began coming to the new guy in town.  There was a patient who had cancer and was not doing well so what did her family do?  Call 911?  Call Hospice?  Take Mom to the hospital ER?  NOOOOOO.  They brought her to the office half dead and wheeled her in the door in a wheelchair.  Well, needless to say, she died within minutes of coming in the door.  Now remember, this was a new practice in a small town and people were just beginning to come to this office and we really needed it to succeed so we could all keep our jobs.  Well the doctor was quick thinking and decided that there was no way that the family was calling the funeral home to come over and pick up her body so he called 911 and told them to back the ambulance up to the side door.  Well the paramedics got there and put her on the gurney and covered her up and was about to wheel her out of the room when the doctor started screaming and cursing them.  He walked over and propped her up, uncovered her face, put a nasal cannula (oxygen tube) in her nose and then gave the okay for her to be wheeled out.  See funny, right??  Maybe you had to be there.  He actually had a valid point.  I mean, who would ever want to go to a doctor if they saw someone being wheeled out by a funeral director or on a gurney with a sheet covering the patient's head??  Certainly not me!!

I have more.  Come back tomorrow for more...I have to think of another one "clean enough" to tell on this blog.