Life Lesson #15,046-Let's Just Call Halloween What It Really Is

Let's just call Halloween what it really is.  It's begging.  Little people walking around the neighborhood in costumes and begging for candy.  Has anyone ever given these little people a trick instead of a treat?  Most of the people in our neighborhood are elderly and hate Halloween so the 5 houses that give out candy get swamped with people.  The kids that really try to dress up on Halloween, I love to see these kids coming.  They are so cute and I never mind giving out candy to these little beggars.  It's the 15-year old+ "kids" that I have a problem giving candy to.  The ones with deep voices and facial hair.  I am sorry if I am a Halloween Grinch but when your voice is deeper than Barry White's, you are probably too old to Trick or Treat.



Then there are the "kids" who don't even have on costumes and they drive themselves around the neighborhood.  Now if you can't even take the time to put on a mask, do you really think I should give you candy?  I mean I go to all the effort here!! I get in my car and drive to Target and get a few bags of candy to give to the sweet little children with the cute little costumes and you expect me to give you candy without even painting your face?  Wrong!! If you cannot even bother to put on a costume or even make one up, you probably shouldn't be Trick or Treating.



The one that really drove me over the edge was 2 years ago.  I am not kidding and you will think that I am lying, but I swear this is true.  One of the Trick or Treaters was about 8 months pregnant.  It was not part of her costume.  I saw this girls' actual pregnant belly.  Now y'all know that sometimes I may stretch the truth in this blog but this is no lie.  I have witnesses!! So here is another hint for ya...If you are about to deliver a baby, you probably shouldn't be out Trick or Treating.



Here is my thing.  My son is 13-years old and he hasn't Trick or Treated in several years. Not because I have told him that he is too old, too tall or too hairy but because even he knows better!  Honestly, would it be wrong to put up a sign with my list of expectations?  Maybe a sign stating something like this:  Do Not Trick or Treat Here If You 1.) Are older than 12-years old  2.) Aren't wearing a costume  3.) Are pregnant  4.) Drove yourself here.  Seriously, I want to give you a Trick if you are any of these things on this list!!  But, of course, I am a big ole chicken and don't want to have to pressure wash my house all day on Thursday because of my house getting egged so I will give your sorry, 17-year old, no costume wearing, pregnant self some candy!!



Now here is my dilemma.  I went to Party City to find my costume.  What will I choose?  The slutty nurse?  The slutty witch?  The slutty pirate?  The slutty devil?  Or just go as a slutty slut?

Happy Halloween, Everyone!!

Life Lesson #15,045 Southern Belle Rules

There are some rules that you should know about all of us Southern Belles.  We have a few hundred rules that we live by but I will only share the important ones for you.

 

1.  Every good Southern Belle owns at least one strand of pearls.
2.  Every good Southern Belle has her monogram on something that she owns.  (The more you have monogrammed, the better.)
3.  Every good Southern Belle owns many, many pairs of flip flops.  (You will need these year round.)
4.  Every good Southern Belle owns a crock pot or 4. (Yes, I have 4.  What of it?)
5.  We all own a Lilly dress. (If you have to ask who Lilly is then you are not Southern.)
6.  We all own a pair of cowgirl boots, just in case we ever need them.
7.  We all know what koozies are and we use them accordingly.
8.  We all own a wide brimmed hat.  You never know when you will be invited to The Derby or The Cup.
9.  We all own at least one pair of Sperrys.
10. Jack Rogers sandals.  Need I say more.
11. Every good Southern Belle knows the proper way to say Sugar and Darling.  If you say them like they are spelled then you aren't Southern. It's Sugah and Dahling.
12. We all know that a chandelier on a front porch is just...................................................fabulous!!!!
13. We all know what it means when we hear "I'm fixin' to".  (It means I'll do it directly.)  (Soon.)
14. Don't start anything with us that you don't want us to finish. (Like a fight.)
15. Good manners are not an option.  We write "Thank You" notes and mail them.
16. SEC football and ACC basketball. 'nuff said.
17. Every good Southern Belle knows how to throw a party.  We make sure that everyone else has food and drink before we will even consider having a mint julep.
18. Dogwoods are a tree and a flower.  Yes they are!! Yes they are!!
19. They are Lightnin' Bugs, not Fireflies.
20. Southern Belles can fry just about anything.
21. China should not be saved for special occasions.  It's Sunday.  That's special enough.
22. Southern Belles know the difference between a redneck, a hillbilly and white trash.
23. Southern Belles have their favorite literature on their coffee tables.  Southern Living and The Holy Bible.
24. Southern Belles own at least one item from a flea market.  We may lie and say we got it in Charleston or Savannah though.
25. When a Southern Belle says "Sweetie" or "Bless Your Heart", watch out!!  She just insulted you.
26. A man in a bow tie or a seersucker suit is SEXY!! Throw in a pair of cream colored Bucks and WOW, somebody is getting lucky tonight!
27. Southern Belles know the difference between a Ford and a Chevrolet.
28. Southern Belles know how to use charm to get something done. Especially things that we don't really want to do ourselves.
29. Southern Belles secretly wish that we could still wear those frilly Scarlett O'Hara dresses.
30. If you want a Southern Belle, build a plantation style house with real shutters and a long driveway. Plant some water oaks and put Spanish Moss in the trees and you will be married by sundown!! 

Life Lesson #15,044-What is a Southern Belle?

This blog post is all about what a Southern Belle really is.  Most people think of Scarlett O'Hara when they think of Southern Belles.  Let me just tell you what they really are.  A Southern Belle can ride her ATV and fish all day long and come home, take a shower, curl her hair and put on a dress and look like she has been at the spa all day.  A Southern Belle is made of sugar & spice and gunpowder & lead.  We are hard but soft.  We are sweet as sweet iced tea but don't piss us off.  We love with all of our heart.  We fight for what is right.  We share. We "Bless" people's hearts.  We can bake a mean Pound Cake and shoot a shotgun.  Just because we are wearing heels and a Lilly Pulitzer dress doesn't mean that we don't have a .38 special in our handbag.  Our families are our entire world.  You mess with one of our children, you better have your running shoes on!  We love our Southern Cities!  Cha'ston, Addlanta, S'vannah, Sha lotte, Row noke, Moe bill, and Clum bee ya.  Most of us drink sweet tea over ice.  Well, the civilized people do anyway!  We love college football and support our team by wearing a T-shirt with our good jeans and heels.  On Sunday, we are in the church of our childhood religion and in The South there are 3 religions, Baptist, Methodist and Presbyterian.  (Yes, I know they are all the same religion but in The South our denomination is our religion.)

Yes, we speak a little slower that the Yankees.  Yes, we speak sweeter than the Yankees, but we can insult someone and you will forget all about it just after we say "Bless her heart".  Example:  Her butt is so big, Bless Her Heart!  See?  It doesn't sound so bad, right?  We all "hate" gossip but if you don't fill us in on the latest gossip, then you must be up to no good yourself!!  When you leave the room, if you hear a peel of laughter when you leave the room, you probably had lipstick on your teeth and someone just blessed your heart!! We can recite Bible verses and curse words in a single breath.  We are intelligent enough to play dumb when we need to.

It is hot here so sundresses and ceiling fans are a must in the summertime.  Everyone has a porch of some kind at their house.  It may just be a small porch on the front, a wrap around porch or even a back deck but we all have somewhere to sit outside.  We are all familiar with the smell of mosquito repellant.  We all know what a bug zapper is and if you never splashed water on a bug zapper when you were a kid, don't do it now.  It won't be near as funny.

If you are a Southern Belle, you probably have a deep freezer.  You probably watched your mother can food when you were young.  You probably watched her make jelly and freeze vegetables.  I remember my mother screaming at me to get out of the kitchen when she was canning because she was always afraid that the pressure cooker would explode.  Since she never let me in the kitchen, I don't know how to can food. 

Listen, Southern Belles are very complex creatures.  If you are in need, we are there for you.  Even if we can't stand the sight of you, bless your heart!  We "speak" by throwing up a hand and waving.  If you don't "speak" back, you must be upset about something, bless your heart.  We know the importance of the changing of the seasons so we celebrate by making a big pot of soup on the first cool day of the year and we make homemade ice cream as soon as summer comes.  All good Southern Belles know this!!

If you are lucky enough to be a Southern Belle then you are blessed by God.  If you are lucky enough to be married to one, then YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH!!

 Tomorrow we shall talk about Southern Belle Rules...

Life Lesson #15,043-Let's Talk About Toys Part 2

Okay so yesterday we talked about children taking over our home with their "Stuff" and how toys are big and bold and then teeny tiny with many parts.  Today we are going to talk about board games.  The bane of my existence.  Am I the only person in history to hate board games?  I think they should be called bored games.  I can't stand hate them!!  So guess what?  I have a son who loves, loves, loves Monopoly.  These games can go on for hours.  I hate Checkers but I could usually mop the floor with him in a few minutes.  Then he took up Chess.  I am not cerebral enough for Chess.  I've never won a game of Chess.  That makes me hate it more.  Seriously though, board games are the worst.  If you bring one out at a party that I attend, you will see me go hide in the kitchen.  I even hate those games that are played at bridal and baby showers.  I am so sorry if I offend you (Well, not really.) but I refuse to play them.  I mean, I already bought you a darn gift, took the time to wrap it and deliver it to your shower, usually held on Saturday or Sunday afternoon during my nap time and now you want me to play a game?? Really?  Open your gift and give me a micro piece of cake.  What's up with the size of the pieces of cake at showers?  Why are they so small?  I spent $75 on your gift and all I get is 1/6 of a piece of cake and some stale mints?  COME ON!! 


Anyway, now that my son is older, his "Toys" have become increasingly more expensive.  His birthdays used to cost us $20 plus a birthday party but now we cannot afford the birthday parties anymore because his gifts are so expensive!!  When "Toys" turn into electronics, then you are in trouble.  He wanted a pair of those headphones that everyone is using now.  Sure, honey, I'll get you some. Let's go.  WHAT???  They cost how much???  Are you kidding me??  Headphones??  Those little ear buds work fine, right??  Here, how about these Panasonic ones??  Even the Bose headphones are cheaper!!  What does Dr. Dre know about sound that Bose doesn't know?  This guy is a freaking genius.  He has actually convinced people that he knows more than Bose!!  Every teenage boy has these earphones.  From $200-over $300 a pop, this guy is killing it!!  Freaking genius!! Toys are just medium sized now but very expensive!!
 

I was going to talk about toys for Mommies tomorrow but I just realized that tomorrow is Saturday and I take Saturdays off.  Oh well...

Life Lesson #15,042-Let's Talk About Toys Part 1

Okay, so, let's talk about toys.  Once you get pregnant and start collecting all of the items that you will "need" before you can even bring your baby home, you will realize that a tiny baby takes up a lot of space.  You will have that baby an entire bedroom packed with a dresser and closet full of clothing, a crib full of stuffed animals and mobiles and lights & sounds toys, and a changing table with lots of shelves stocked with diapers, wipes, powder, lotion, diaper cream and other diapering items. So the nursery is now full.  Then you go to the family room and there is a baby swing, a baby bouncer and a baby rocker.  In the kitchen, there is a high chair and if you are really lucky, someone has already given you a booster seat for when the baby outgrows the high chair.  Once the baby comes, the kitchen counters, the refrigerator and cabinets become totally full of bottles, melamine bowls and plates and those rubber covered spoons. The fridge is full of formula or breast milk. The cabinets are full of baby food.  Then you realize...This kid is taking over our house!! This kid needs more room than my husband and I do.



Then your child gets a little older and the toys start to appear.  Big, chunky toys in primary colors.  Everything is larger than when I was a child because we figured out that every toy I had as a child was a choking hazard.  I am quite sure that I played with marbles at age 2 and I am pretty sure that there is now a warning label on marbles that says that you must be 12 or older to play with them.  Anyway, their toys no longer fit into a cute little basket so you have to purchase a Toy Box.  Of course, this Toy Box cannot go in their room because we all spend all of our time in the family room. So now we have even more items in the family room.  At first, we clean up all of the toys during the first and second naps of the day. Then the child goes from two naps down to one per day and the toys get cleaned up once during the day and then at bedtime.  Then as time goes on moms realize that there is no use in cleaning the toys off of the floor during nap time because it is a complete waste of time.  Then we begin only cleaning the toys up at bedtime.  After a while of doing this, it begins to seem like a complete waste of time because the toys will just get dragged right out first thing in the morning so we stop picking up all of the toys every night.  Then the toys get smaller.




Have you ever stepped on a Lego or Matchbox car in the dark, early morning hours?  If not, you have no idea what pain really is.  I don't care if you have given birth, had a kidney stone, a back spasm, a broken leg or a gunshot wound, you have not felt pain like the pain of standing on a Lego or a Matchbox car with bare feet!! YOWZA!!  Then I swear for the next 8 years the toys are extremely small and have infinite numbers of tiny pieces accompanying any and all toys.  I mean if you buy a Barbie or GI Joe, you will have itty bitty shoes, clothing and accessories. Even Army tanks have eeny, weeny guns and ammo and little canisters and I can't help but think, WHY???  Can I just tell you how happy I am that my son just turned 13 and I can now get rid of all of those itty bitty toy pieces that are in every jar, basket, drawer, bowl and vase that I own? I cannot wait to toss it all!!  Except for the Matchbox cars.  We will probably keep them all.  I bet we have well over 1,000 in Rubbermaid containers under his bed.  If there was a collectible Matchbox car made from 1999 to 2010, we probably have it in one of those containers.  It was probably worth all of the pain of stepping on that Matchbox car if it will be worth money one day!!  Well, I don't know about that.  If I could figure a way to sue Matchbox or Lego for my negligent behavior (not cleaning up the floor before dark) and stepping on their product, I WOULD!!

Come back tomorrow and let's talk more about toys...

Life Lesson #15,041-Holy Political Posts, Batman!!

Has anyone else noticed all of the political posts on Facebook?  OMG! I am so over it!  I mean, has anyone ever changed political parties because of a post on Facebook?  Has anyone changed their vote because of political rants?  Have you been blocked by 100 friends?  I think everyone has decided by now who they are voting for so STOP IT!!  I don't have to agree 100% with my choice and disagree 100% with his opponent to vote for who I want to vote for.  Okay, y'all know that I am a Republican and I will be voting for Mitt but that doesn't mean that I agree with him on 100% of the issues.  I don't disagree with B.O. on 100% of the issues.  Just because I am a Republican does not mean that I won't vote for a Democrat.  There are a few that I will always vote for.  Take for example the Attorney General of North Carolina.  His name is Roy Cooper. If you are thankful that there is a National Do Not Call List, you can thank the Attorney General of the great state of North Carolina for that.  I still get tons of calls by law dodging fundraisers but at least it is not constant like it used to be.  Roy Cooper (D) has my vote every time he goes up for re-election.  Also there are a couple of local races that I will vote for the (D) on.  Really, I think everyone should go to this website and see which side of the fence they are really on. It can be very eye-opening!! It is called On The Issues and it is totally non-partisan.  Here is the link: 
http://www.ontheissues.org/Quiz/Quiz2010.asp?quiz=Pres2012


Hopefully we can all be "Friends" again in 2 weeks!!  If you are like me, I joined Facebook to catch up with old friends and see what is going on with everyone.  I look forward to seeing endless posts about pets, food and family feuds.  I will not even complain for at least a month about your relentless bragging on your children!! (Who are BRATS, by the way!! The little cuties!)  I look forward to being "Poked" by my high school friend, Zach.  I look forward to seeing birthday wishes to people I hardly know.  I look forward to seeing "Check ins" at CVS and Olive Garden.  I even look forward to the posts that say to "Share if you love Jesus"!  I do love Jesus, I just don't want to "Share" your picture of a rainbow with everyone on my friends list!  Jesus will not deny me entry into Heaven because I didn't "Share" your photo!! Don't pray for my soul!!  I've got it covered! Oh and Facebook will not give a dollar for every "Like" or "Share" to the sick little girl in the picture.  I promise, you can keep scrolling!!

This is a great rule of thumb for all forms of Social Media:


Oh my Goodness!!! Is that a Blog icon??  Oh no!! There goes my blog!! I will miss you all!!!
Just kidding.  No, my blog isn't always true or helpful or inspiring or necessary or kind.  Sometimes it is just a rant!!  Most of the time it includes lies half-truths.  I really am trying to help humanity by telling y'all what everyone else is thinking but is afraid to say out loud.  Sorry but I wasn't born with that filter thingy.  Anyway, back to rules for everyone but me...Let's be nice to each other.  We are all going to be in it together next month so let's just accept that we all have political, moral and religious beliefs.  Let's not be judgmental of each other and our beliefs.  We don't have to agree on 100% of the issues to be "Friends" so stop fighting about them!!!!  Oh and just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't make them stupid, closed-minded or uneducated.  They just don't agree with you!! Come on November 6th!!!

Life Lesson #15,040-Psychology of Men

Yesterday I blogged about how complicated women are.  I talked about the complexity of our emotions and psyche.  Women really are complex and emotional creatures.  If something terrible happens to someone, the first thing we think about is the family, the children, the parents, etc.  Men on the other hand, well, they think differently.  They think about how the bills would get paid, how their job will get done, how the family will run while this terrible tragedy is going on.  Women think emotionally and men think logically.  Women, Please don't take that the wrong way. If you really think about it, isn't it true?  Just think about when JFK was shot and killed.  The women were thinking, "Poor Jackie", "Poor Caroline", "Poor John John" while the men were thinking "Who will run the country?", "Who is looking after national security?", "Who's watching the Russians?".  See what I mean?? 



I also mentioned that my son had said that he was going to take a course on women when he goes to college.  I told him that a course on women would last 30 years and it is not a passable class.  Well, if you took a class on the Psychology of Men, it would be just the opposite.  It would take about 5 minutes and the final exam would be about 3 questions with all answers being "Yes".  Men are simple creatures.  They need few things in life.  (1) Food (2) Shelter (3) Clothing (4) Money (5) Sex.  End of list.  See?  Simple creatures right?  If they had to do without any of these needs, I would guarantee that it would not be #5.  You know I'm right!!  Anyway, their food doesn't need to be fancy, their shelter doesn't need to be well decorated, their clothing doesn't need to match, they need money but not as much until they have a family and sex, well, if you are married, you know they don't care where or when or how as long as it happens.  (This goes out the window with "The Gays".  They like good food, well decorated shelter and tailored clothing. Money and sex are the same as straight men!)

I will try to make your final exam on the Psychology of Men a little harder.  Here goes:

(Q)  List the needs of men in order of importance.
(A)  All 5 are number 1.

If you got the question right. You pass.
 

"The strength of women comes from the fact that psychology cannot explain us. Men can be analyzed, women ... merely adored." ~OSCAR WILDE

Life Lesson #15,039-Psychology of Women

Life Lesson #15,039-Psychology of Women

My son just asked me what a woman means when she says, "This dress isn't me."?  I said that it means that she doesn't like the dress for her but it might look good on someone else.  He said that when he gets to college he is going to take a course on women and I told him it is a thirty year course and he would fail anyway. LOL!  Poor kid.  He's only 13-years old and he is already trying to figure out women.  Good luck with that, my son!!  Why are women so hard to figure out?  Why don't we just say what we mean like men do?  Why do we hold grudges from the 3rd grade?  Why do we care about how soft our skin is?  Why do we worry about age spots?  Why do we care about gray hair and wrinkles?  Why do we have more than 4 pairs of shoes?  Why do we have a section in our closet called our "fat clothes"?  Why do we wear make up and fuss with our hair?  Why do we touch up our lipstick every hour?  Why do we fret over an extra 10 pounds? Why do we shove ourselves into Spanx?  Why do we always have to smell good?  Why do we love pretty things?  Why do we always say, "Oh that's so cute!"?   I tell you why.  Because we are women!!!


Why do we cry about everything?  When we are happy.  When we are sad.  When we are watching Chick Flicks.  When we are watching Magic Mike.  ((Ahem. Sorry.))  Then for no reason at all, we cry!!  We love to know details about everything.  It may take us 5 minutes to tell a story that would take a man 10 seconds to tell because we don't leave out any details.  We all absolutely hate drama but we want to know if any drama is going on and we will give our opinion but we don't want to get involved in the drama.  We get mad if someone knows what is going on and they don't share it with us. We get our feelings hurt easily.  We are sensitive. Why??  Because we are women.



One thing is for sure about women.  We love with all of our heart. If we are moms we will rip your still beating heart straight out of your chest if you hurt our child.  When we love something we will fight for it to the death!   Whether it is a relationship or a child, our love knows no boundaries.  Some men like to call us stalkers but really it's just love.  If they would just love us back, darn it!!!!  I mean my goodness, we smell good and our hair is fixed.  What more could you possibly want from us?  Just because we send you roses, chocolates and 471 texts per day, does not make us stalkers.  Just because we wait for you outside of your apartment building at 5am to give you a warm cup of coffee to start off your day right, does not make us stalkers.  And yes, buying him that really nice gold watch that he always wanted may have been a little excessive but stalking...No way, Your Honor!!  We just like to show our love, Your Honor!! Why?  Because we are women!!





So we love cute things and flowers. Earrings and purses. We love bubble baths and pedicures.  We love a good book and perfume, chocolate and diamonds, sports cars and suntans, shoes and soft blankets, clean floors and afternoon soccer games.  We love our friends to the moon and back and have deeper relationships with a select few.  We love our men and our children so much that we would die for them.  Not to get all mushy because we also love wine and raunchy sex talk with our girlfriends on Girls Night Out!!  We love decorations and little blue boxes with white ribbons. So I just think I will tell my son not to worry about studying up on women.  For one, it is a total waste of time and for another thing, whatever we say today could change tomorrow.  Why?? Because we are women!!

Life Lesson #15,038-What's In A Name?

Life Lesson #15,038-What's In A Name?

"What's in a name?"  I do believe Shakespeare said that.  What I think it means these days is this. Don't name your child something is going to embarrass them.  Simple!!  These people in Hollywood kill me with the names that they are giving these poor children.  When I was a kid I hated my name and I wanted my name to be "Kelly", like my best friend's name was.  Well now I just want to thank my parents for not naming me "Apple"!! Of course, Apple is the most normal name that has come out of Hollywood in years!  How about Jason Lee's son?  His name is "Pilot Inspektor".  Google it!! I swear it's true!!  David Duchovny and Tea Leoni named their kid, "Kyd". No, I am not kidding. How about "Moxie Crimefighter"? Yes, Penn Jillette named his daughter that.  The very best, I saved for last because they are Motown Royalty.  Jermaine and Michael Jackson take the cake with the naming of their sons.  Jermaine's son is named, "Jermajesty" and Michael's son is named "Blanket".  If you didn't know this, you have lived in a box for the past few years.  Who names their child "Blanket" or "Pilot Inspektor"?  These people are seriously insane.  They have been drinking too much Kool Aid in Hollywood.


So what do we do in the burbs?  Could we get away with naming our children crazy names?  No, we could not.  We just try not to give our children names that won't get them beat up on the playground or names that rhyme with curse words.  My sister ruled out "Tucker" this way.  Seriously, people, please don't name your child something embarrassing like "Sweatsock Larry" or "Moonstruck Luna Milan Anastasia Fredrika Lowlight". I swear when I was pregnant my husband and I went through the book of baby names and we could agree on one name and that is what we named him.  It is an ordinary name and doesn't rhyme with anything inappropriate!! Yay, me!!



Now, Look at the list of the names of the Presidents of the United States.  Until you get to Barack Obama, every one of them have a very Presidential sound.  Of course, George Washington sounds presidential because our nations capital is named after him but even William Jefferson Clinton sounds very presidential!!  Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, William Henry Harrison...see...Presidential, right??  One day we will have a president named Moxie Crimefighter? I don't think so.  Great name for a detective though.  How about President Pilot Inspektor Lee?  Bahahaha!  No, but again a great name for a detective. Apparently, there will be a lot of Hollywood children in the crime fighting business.  

Okay, now that I am off of my soapbox about the crazy names, let's really try and come up with names that mean something to us.  All of the old names are coming back in style.  A lot of the Biblical names are still great to use.  Think of someone who was influential in your life and tryout their name.  What about a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or in law?  You could even use a last name in the middle name slot!  I did this.  My mother-in-law's maiden name is my son's middle name. I love this!!  So the reason this is important is because this Name will be with this baby/child/teen/adult forever.  It will be on their birth announcement and their gravestone.  Their diploma and their drivers license.  What's in a name?  Hopefully, not a fruit or vegetable.  Profound, right?

Life Lesson #15,037-Bullying Sucks

Life Lesson #15,037-Bullying Sucks

Disclaimer:  This blog is NOT a funny one!! 

I have to say that bullying has gone to a whole new level from when I was a kid.  Kids got laughed at and made fun of when I was going to school but nothing like it is these days.  With social media, email, cell phones and the Internet, kids have no chance of getting away from their bullies even when they are at home.  I have heard of kids making Facebook pages about hating another child.  I have heard about some kids having a Facebook, MySpace or even Instagram and kids "stalking" them and saying horrible things to them on the Internet for everyone to see.  I think it is very important that we all speak to our children about the consequences of bullying if they are caught doing it.  I also think this starts at home.  If a child hears their parents speaking horribly about another person, they will think it is okay.  I know that we all are guilty of doing it but we all need to think about what we say in front of them.
 

We need to teach our children that if they bully people then they will have serious consequences at home.  If your child is accused of bullying then you need to get to the bottom of it.  Don't look at that kid through rose colored glasses.  Bullies are really the wimpiest and most insecure people that have ever lived.  If someone is bullying or pushing around a child with a physical or mental ailment then they have serious issues that should be addressed.  Some kids have problems which cannot be seen by the naked eye.  These kids should be especially looked out for by our children.  They don't have to be best friends with someone to stand up for someone who is being bullied.  Kids with ADD, ADHD, Asperger's and Autism are often misunderstood as being weird but in reality sometimes they lack impulse control and cannot help the way they are acting.  I think kids should be sensitive to these kids.  Please, Please talk to your children about this.


Now bullying doesn't always look like a big boy pushing around a boy who is smaller than him.  Lots of times a bully can look like a beautiful young lady.  I hear Moms talking about how mean girls can be to each other and it makes me so sad.  Kids, teens and young adults live in the moment.  This is why they get in so much trouble.  They think that calling another girl ugly makes them look better or posting nasty things about other girls online makes them look tough.  Don't we all understand by now that suicide is now the way out for these kids who are being bullied?  Was it really worth it for a kid to kill themselves over someone posting something terrible, and usually not even true, about them?  No, of course not but like I said, kids live in the moment.  When you are my age, you could just care less what people say about you but most of the time kids don't have a choice who they are in a room, bathroom, locker room or hall with at school. If someone doesn't like me they can just avoid me and I can avoid them but not our kids! It's just not fair!!



So, what to do if your child is The Bully:
1.  Open your eyes and realize that your child is capable of that behavior.
2.  Realize that your child will probably not change after one talk or one punishment.
3.  Talk to your child about redirecting their bullying behavior to a leadership role.
4.  If you have been called by another parent or the school, make an appointment and talk to your child's teacher or principal and get to the bottom of it.
5.  Be clear that this behavior is unacceptable and follow through with consequences.
6.  Have a zero tolerance rule about bullying.
7.  Know your child's friends and talk to them often.
8.  If it persists talk to the school counselor or a medical/mental health professional.
9.  Let them know that this behavior is dangerous.
10. Make sure that your child understands respect.  By that I mean not only respecting others and their personal space but respecting themselves enough not to do this to others.

What to do if your child is Being Bullied:
1.  Again, open your eyes.  Don't just blow off your child and tell them that "So-n-so was just kidding."
2.  Make the school or other organization aware that this is happening and follow up often.
3.  Make sure that your child knows that they are loved and that they are important in this world.
4.  Encourage your child to walk to class, eat lunch or hang out on the playground with a friend. Strength in numbers.
5.  Make sure that your child has some sort of outlet or hobby.  An activity outside of school can be something to look forward to and enjoy and live for.  Kids who play sports or who have hobbies can blow off steam if they are doing something that they enjoy.
6. Teach your child to say, "STOP"!!
7.  Report this activity to the school and document all of the details of the incident, who was involved and who you reported the incident to at school.
8.  Remind your child that reporting a bully is not the same as tattling.
9.  Communicate with your child.  Talk, Talk, Talk.

If you have anything to add, please do so!

Life Lesson #15,036-Real Problems??

Life Lesson #15,036-Real Problems

I have a real problem.  I don't know when to keep my mouth shut or when to speak up.  I need some help in this department.  I saw a lady today with her dress on inside out.  Should I have mentioned it to her or kept my mouth shut?  Thing is, I was at a middle school soccer game and I didn't notice until the game was over and she walked over to where the other mothers were sitting.  I don't know her but I know that she is the mother of one of the boys on the team.  Plus, there were tons of people standing there and of course, everyone looked at me and said, "You should tell her".  Why me?  Could it be because they know what a big mouth I am?  Could it be because they think I have no filter?  Could it be because they know me well enough to know that I would want to know myself?  Why didn't one of the other mothers speak up?  Three Moms looked at me and said, "TELL HER"!! 

Y'all know that's me below!!
 

Should I stand in Walmart and point out everyone who still has on their pajamas just in case they weren't aware that they came out of the house in their pajamas?  (I mean, surely they aren't aware that they still have their pajamas on.  People would never go out in public in their pajamas on purpose, right?)  Should I stand inside the school and tell all of the 12-year old boys who have their flys open that they are walking around like that?  Should I be responsible for telling people when they have smelly breath or body odor?  Should I tell people when they are being rude or laughing too loud? (Okay, someone may need to tell me when I am being those things.)  Should I tell those young men who walk around town with their pants below their waist to pull their pants up?? (Someone should totally do that one!!!!)  Do we need to tell a friend that they have spinach in their teeth?  Where do we draw the line and does it matter how well we know someone before we say something?   Look, even if you don't know me, please don't let me walk around looking like a fool or smelling like a zoo animal.



I think if someone is going to be embarrassed about something, maybe we should speak up.  If you see a lady with her skirt caught inside her underwear, we should speak up and not let her walk around like that. If a man is walking around with his toupee blown over, maybe someone should mention it to him. If you see a lady at a middle school soccer game with her dress on inside out, maybe you should mention it to her if you see it at the beginning of the game.  When the game is over, you may as well let her get in her minivan and leave without saying anything. Your thoughts??

Life Lesson #15,035-Childish Things We Love As Adults

Life Lesson #15,035-Childish Things We Love As Adults

We have all heard parents yelling at their toddlers to sit down, get down, settle down, quieten down, calm down etc.  We have all heard parents yelling at their teenagers to stand up, get up, speak up, perk up, sit up and shut up.  So what do we do when we are adults?  When we are small children, everything is down and when we are teenagers everything is up, right?  Have you all noticed that?  Well, I have figured out that the things that we absolutely loathed as children are luxuries when we are adults.


Have any of you complained about taking a bath since the age of 30?  I mean, if I have 30 extra minutes in the evenings there is nothing more relaxing than taking a nice, hot, bubble bath.  Just soaking in the tub and being quiet is absolute bliss!!  When we are children, we hate to stop what we are doing long enough to wash the sandbox and backyard residue off of our feet and behind our ears.  As adults, just being able to take a shower uninterrupted is nice, but a bath, Ahhhhhhhh. Add a good book or scented candles and I may just stay in that bathtub for longer than a half an hour!


How about taking a nap?  I remember laying in my bed for hours every day when I was little because I would not go to sleep.  I remember laying on a cot and watching all of the other kindergarteners sleep because I would not take a nap.  I do believe that if I were given a cot in a room full of 20 other people now that I absolutely would take that teacher up on her offer for me to sleep.  There is nothing better than a nap especially after all the kids are off to school and the house is quiet.  Oh and if it is rainy that is just an added bonus.  I can't imagine why I fought taking a nap so hard when I was a child because sometime between the age of 5 and 40 I became a lover of the nap.  Even if I have 15 things to get done during the day, I would just rather take a nap.  That load of clothes can just wait to be folded!!  I could nap on a bed, a couch, a chair, a hammock, a chaise lounger, a beanbag, a loveseat, a futon, a porch swing or a beach chair.  I have a friend who swears that the best naps ever are in her car in the parking lot of the local library.  I'm not brave enough to try sleeping in public but she has her Ph.D and she sees nothing wrong with it so maybe I should try it!!  If you see my car at the library in town, please don't knock on the window!  Zzzzzzzz!!

Life Lesson #15,034-Raising Kids To Be Good Adults

#15,034-Raising Kids To Be Good Adults, Not Good Kids

I don't care what anyone says, being a parent is the hardest job ever!  You have one chance to get it right.  If you are the mother then you will be the one who gets blamed for any character flaws in your child.  If they are spoiled, it's your fault.  If they are "trouble" then it's your fault.  If they have any problem whatsoever, it is your fault.  For some reason, the Dads get off free and clear!! I don't get it.  Aren't Dads half of the parents?  Anyway, we are raising these children to be good adults and we have to remember that.  If we are just trying to raise good kids then most of us have succeeded but then when they become teens some of them get lost to the struggles of being a young adult.  Some kids who are raised with very tight restrictions become wild animals when they are finally allowed some freedom and some kids turn out fine.  Some kids who are given free reign turn into homeless drug addicts and some turn into very responsible adults. So what do we do?  How do we know what is the right way to raise our children?  I mean, some kids who are raised in church or even by pastors are awesome kids and others rebel.  Some of the most rotten kids I knew were the pastors' kids.  I remember one bringing beer to school and drinking it in middle school.  Some of the nicest people that I know now, have never even been to church. I think every child is different.  Every kid should be raised on a case by case basis.  See what works for your particular child and do that.  Some kids will need an occasional spanking, some can just be threatened with taking away a toy and they will never stray!  Before you start telling me how horrible spanking is, I am not for beating or prolonged spanking but a little swat on the rear end has done wonders for my son.  He hasn't had one in many years but I can threaten it and he straightens right up.  The last time he got one, he had been talking during church and being disruptive and he deserved it.  He got a swat on the rear end when he was three for lying to me and he has not lied to me again.  That was 10 years ago.  He may start lying to me tomorrow and never tell me the truth ever again but so far it worked.

 

So what is the correct form of parenting?  Whose book should we go by?  Dr. Sears?  John Rosemond?  Or should we just maybe take a little from each and use whatever advice works for us.  To spank or not to spank?  To use Time Out or not?  Take away toys/gadgets?  Ground them?  Maybe it all changes and continues to change as they grow up.  Maybe one thing works for you from birth until they are 18-years old.  Maybe nothing works at all.  Every child is different just like every adult is different. I've seen two children raised in the same house and raised by the same parents with the same parenting style and the kids are totally different.  I've even seen twins who are completely different. I know some of it has to do with birth order or only children or if a sibling dies but it still amazes me. 
 

I think that just spending time with our children daily and letting them know that they are loved is the best thing that we can do for them.  Now before anyone starts saying, "But you only have one child.  It's so easy to do with one child", I just want to say that it isn't that hard to give 10 children a hug and a kiss and tell them that you love them.  Take that time everyday to tell each one of your children that you love them.  Never EVER let their head hit the pillow at night without you telling them that you love them.  Even on the days that they aren't that lovable remind them that you love them and that no matter what, you always will.  I can't think of one thing that my son could ever do or say that would make me not love him.  Okay, that being said, I am not the perfect parent and I'm not sure that there ever was a perfect parent besides our Heavenly Father and he loves us all unconditionally.  So here is to all of us who are striving to be the best parent that we can be!! Hug and kiss those kiddos today and every day after that!! They grow up so fast.

Life Lesson #15,033-Don't Worry. Be Happy.

Life Lesson #15,033-Don't Worry. Be Happy.

Don't we all know those people who just bring you down?  I like to call these people Eeyore. (Ya know? From Winnie The Pooh.) You see them in Target and you hope that they don't see you so you try to duck down the next aisle and you have to act like you are very interested in whatever is on that aisle.  Then they follow you down the aisle and are like, "Hi, I didn't know that you had hamsters" and you have to say something stupid like, "Umm. Yeah we are thinking about getting one for the kids" and they are like "Oh no. You don't want to do that. We had one and it died after 3 days and then had to get another one and it lived for 15 years".  And you just want to lie and say that you have had a terrible stomach virus and really need to go to the bathroom, really bad and rush away but you are too nice.  No?? Yeah, me either. (Lie)



Wouldn't life be so much better if we all tried to have a positive outlook on life.  I know it isn't always easy.  Sometimes we get bad news or our friends or family have illnesses that could take them away from us so I'm not saying we should be all smiles all the time but some people just are always negative.  "How are you today, Sammy?".  (In Eeyore's voice) "Well, my knee has fluid on it and I have a hernia and I lost my cell phone and...". "Well, Sammy, I've got to go.  See you soon".  All we really wanted to hear was "I'm fine" unless there is a real problem that you will need my assistance on.  That's why I was hiding from you in the hamster supplies aisle!! If you find yourself doing this all the time, try to stop it.  You will find that people will enjoy your company and you will probably get invited to lunch more often if you are a positive force in this life.  If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, CLAP, CLAP.



Is that mean?  Am I just cruel?  Seriously, if you see someone who you are not good friends with and they ask you how you are, please just say, "I'm good. How are you?".  Even if your dog just died that morning and you have a migraine and a Charlie Horse, please just say that you are good and ask about the other person because they don't really want to hear all about it.   And then if they are the negative ones, rush off to the bathroom in Target or the hamster aisle.  You may see me there!! Oh and if you ever catch me being Eeyore, Call Me Out On It!!!!


 

Life Lesson #15,032-Leaving My Comfort Zone

Life Lesson #15,032-Leaving My Comfort Zone
When we landed in NY I knew I had left my comfort zone!! And I left it way behind.  Several states away.  Hundreds of miles away. Of course, it was overwhelming.  The buildings are tall.  The traffic is horrible.  These people talk funny.  But I swear I knew I was not in The South anymore when we got to our room and ordered room service.  I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich and sweet potato fries.  My husband got a grilled cheeseburger and fries and my son got...(If you know him, you know what he got.)...chicken tenders and fries.  Oh and I ordered a big piece of key lime pie and chocolate chip cookies.  The server brought up the tray and uncovered the 3 meals and we all pulled up a chair and sat down.  Nope, we are not in The South anymore.  Hellmann's Mayonnaise and Dijon Mustard???  Where's my Dukes?  Where's my French's?  Oh Dear Lord, it is going to be a long 5 days!!






The next minute I knew we were not in The South anymore was when my husband looked at our Visa bill in the morning and realized that last night's room service chicken sandwich, hamburger and chicken tenders cost us a cool $130!!! What????????  I am not even kidding you!!  The food was a little overpriced and then there was the tax, delivery fee, hotel charges, on and on they go until it added up to $130!!  Needless to say, we didn't order room service again.  We got our lazy selves up and went to the restaurant inside the hotel even if we didn't feel like it!  Stuff is expensive in New York!

I have seen vandalism before.  I mean some of my so called "friends" decorated my yard for Christmas one year.  It was July!!  I have seen spray paint on trains and under bridges.  I have seen a yard get TP'd.  What I have never seen was a high end store get vandalized and these people didn't even try to clean it up!! Come on!! This is 5th Avenue not The Bronx!! I mean...Well just look for yourself...This is Bergdorf Goodman.  What a shame!!


I knew that I wasn't in small town, North Carolina anymore when I saw Queen Latifah on the street in Times Square, a few policeman on horseback posing for pictures with tourists, Spiderman in the street spinning his web and a TJ Maxx with a gold sign on a grand stone building.  Our TJ Maxx here is great and I love it but it is only one floor and made of brick.  No comparison to the one on Wall Street right beside the Stock Exchange! 

Of course, I have told you about being out of my comfort zone and talking to Muslims for the first time in my entire life and them actually being nice people and nothing like Achmed but guess what church is directly behind the Marriott in Times Square??? The Church of Scientology!!  Not a Baptist, Presbyterian or Methodist Church or even a Catholic Church but SCIENTOLOGY!!!  Okay, maybe I am being judgmental here but even their churches are spooky!! It actually looks more like a theater than a church.



There were many times that I was out of my comfort zone and actually enjoyed it but there was one last story that I was very uncomfortable outside of my comfort zone.  I am many things.  I am usually positive even in negative situations.  (Usually.  Hey, I'm human!)  I try to be friendly. I try to be funny.  I try to be compassionate. BUT...I am very opinionated.  I am a diehard Republican.  I am a card carrying member of the NRA.  I believe in Religious Freedom, The Right to Bear Arms and being fiscally conservative with my tax dollars.  That being said, I think God was testing my patience at the Statue of Liberty, of all places.  While waiting in line for tickets the lady in front of me started talking to me and telling me about how great the past 4 years have been and how great Obama is.  I bit my tongue until it almost bled!! I tried to change the subject to other things like, ya know, the weather, the sky, dirt, ANYTHING but the great Obama!!  It always led back to us needing 4 more years.  Over and over and over.  Then she totally lost me.  She told me she was from Israel.  I wanted to punch her in the throat.  I thought I was talking to an American and letting her have her "Freedom of Speech" and being nice. I did not say anything against her political beliefs. I mean, it isn't my place to try and change anyone's mind about their political beliefs. God does have a sense of humor, doesn't He??!! Hahahaha!!

Okay, I'm a little sick of talking about New York and frankly, I just don't want to anymore.  It was a great visit and I saw a lot and learned a lot but I wouldn't ever want to live there.  I love The Carolinas and never want to live anywhere else!!

Life Lesson #15,031-People In NYC Are Interesting

Life Lesson #15,031-People In NYC Are Interesting

Only in NYC will you walk past a Naked Cowboy, Hello Kitty or someone painted completely green and nobody even stares at them.  Honestly, there are no freaks in NYC.  There were a few people, however, who made an impression.  The very first night we landed in NY, we had a great driver who drove us from LaGuardia to the hotel.  He was from Africa and was so glad to be in the United States.  I loved this guy from the second that I met him.  He told us about growing up with 1 pair of shoes to wear to school, to church, to play in and everywhere else.  He grew up very poor and was blessed to have that one pair of shoes. He was glad to be here and have more than one pair of shoes.  Thank you, God for not making me live in Africa with no shoes!!



Okay I have lived in the South my entire life and have never even spoken to a Muslim in my entire life.  The only ones that I have ever seen have been in the airport or at the mall.  Needless to say, the only thing that I know about their religion is The Koran is their holy book and Mohammed is their prophet and Muslims are responsible for the terrorism on 9/11 so they all must be violent and crazed and hateful.  Right?????????? 
So there were these food carts just sitting unattended on the streets of NYC and there was this loud crazy music coming from all of these carts.  It sounded like some sort of horn being played.  The music was haunting.  Then it hit me.  It was the "Call to Prayer" that was playing and the unattended food carts were abandoned by their owners because they were doing their daily prayers.  If I am not mistaken they pray about 5 times a day.  (If I prayed to my God 5 times a day, I would probably be a better person.)  Then we finally hailed a cab and of course a Muslim driver picked us up. Was he going to scream at us?  Was he going to set a fire?  Was he going to set off a bomb while we were driving with him???????? Well while was driving us and he began to talk about 9/11.  He talked about the horror he felt and how all he could do was stare out his window in shock, much the same as I did at the TV that day.  Every Muslim we encountered was polite, hard working and nothing like Achmed!!  One of our drivers told me about how just after 9/11 he could not leave his house because of people being angry at all Muslims about 9/11 and how there was violence against them because of their religion and how they were hurt by the attacks too.  I felt ashamed of myself because I had thought terrible things about all of those people myself.  I didn't realize that there were those Muslims who hated what was done on 9/11 just as much as I did.  I pride myself on not being judgmental of people but I had judged an entire religion on the acts of some.  I am sorry for that.  I now know that they all don't feel this way about us "infidels". 

 

So we went to "The Lion King" at The Minskoff Theater one night and I was honestly afraid the bathroom attendant was a terrorist.  I don't know what religion she was but maybe she just needed some religion, or somebody to Bless Her Heart or maybe she just needed some sweet tea.  I am not sure what her problem was but this attendant was screaming at us in the stalls and telling us that we were taking too long.  Has this woman ever tried to pull up underwear, Spanx and pants?  I don't think she understands what it takes to get all of these items back in place!  Honestly!! It takes more than 15 seconds to dismantle the undergarments, sit, pee, wipe accordingly, pull up undies, Spanx, Pants, fasten the belt, turn around and flush.  I consider it rude to have almost 1600 seats in a theater and have 4 stalls for the ladies.  Just sayin'! At intermission, if half of the crowd is female and then half of the females have to pee then you have 400 women standing in line to pee and 4 stalls. Intermission was 10 minutes.  You can do the math but even I know the odds aren't very good that everyone can do their business in that amount of time with that amount of stalls!! So stop screaming at me you terrorist bathroom attendant!! No tip for you!!!

 

I had many, many people leave an impression on me but the most interesting person that we ran into was this homeless person.  All of the homeless people in NYC have a cardboard sign and a hoodie.  This one guy had a sign and it said, "I'm not even going to lie.  I need money for pot".  I swear I thought about putting a few bucks in his can because he was being honest.  I laughed out loud!! I have mad respect for that homeless, pothead!! 


Come back tomorrow...

Life Lesson #15,030-Chinatown. Better Than Park Avenue!

Life Lesson #15,030-Chinatown. Better Than Park Avenue!


On our first full day in NYC we walked around Park Avenue. We walked into the Louis Vuitton where we all know the prices are high.  They have specialty bags that our local Louis Vuitton store does not have. Wow, Oh Wow!! I was in Heaven.  Then we walked into Tiffany & Co. Big Mistake!!  But I'm not spending all of my money in one store so...off to Chinatown!!  Those same LV bags were 5% of the price as the ones on Park Avenue!!  Oh and they not only had Louis Vuitton but also Gucci, Hermes, Chanel, Coach, Prada, Burberry, and Tory Burch bags for like $60!! Now those are good prices!!  Oh and Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses were only $5!!  When I was in Tiffany & Co. I found a beautiful necklace and bracelet.  I go into Chinatown and find the same necklace and bracelet for $35 each!!  Okay, Okay.  I know that they are knockoffs but come on!!  Who can tell unless they are looking very close?  What is so funny is the people selling their wares on the street will tell you not to worry if you get caught with the contraband because you will only spend 2 hours in jail.  These are hardworking Chinese-Americans who I think should run this country.  They can talk you into anything and they get it done!! You walk away happy and feeling like you got an amazing deal.  Just don't waste their time.  I love these people!!

 

You walk past the people selling handbags and jewelry and you see fruit stands.  There's fruit on these stands that I have never seen in my life.  Some of it had spikes and bumps and looked really scary.  Some of it looked really good though.  It was just unusual looking fruit.  I don't think we have that stuff at the local Harris Teeter. 



Then you cross the street to the meat markets.  There are ducks, chickens and who know what other types of foul hanging in the windows.  I thought that was just in Asia!! I had no idea that you could do that in America!! Of course, you feel like you are in a foreign country in Chinatown so for some reason it doesn't seem that strange.  Two doors down from the meat market is the seafood market.  Let me tell you, there is no fresher seafood than this seafood.  The crabs were still crawling all over one another.  The smell was overwhelming.  My son had to cover his nose but it really is something that he will never forget.


There were very unusual buildings.  The McDonald's sign is even written in Chinese.  The only other place in the world where that is done is in China.  There was one building which was 3 stories high.  On the first floor there was a 99 cent store.  On the second floor was a Buddhist Temple.  The third floor is a Jewish Community Center.  NO JOKE!!!  We also saw another building which was a Starbucks on the first floor and the top four floors were a Buddhist Temple.  I have pictures of these places.  I swear it is a true story!





Anyway, Chinatown is a place not to be missed if you visit NYC.  There is not one square inch of that place without something interesting in it.  I hope you get to go there and get that handbag that you have always dreamed of and have never been able to afford.  And remember, if you get caught you will only spend 2 hours in jail!! It's so worth it!! Totally worth it!!

Come back tomorrow for more...

Life Lesson #15,029-It's Great To Be In America

Life Lesson #15,029-It's Great To Be In America
Whew. It is so good to be home and back in America, where everyone speaks English (or Spanish) and most people are friendly.  Ahh, yes.  The good ole United States of America.  Hang on, wait.  I was just informed that New York City IS, in fact,  part of the United States.  WHAT??  Nobody speaks English!!! Oh and most people have no sense of humor.  Nobody smiles at you on the street.  Nobody throws up a hand at you when you are in the car.  Oh and they blow their horns at each other constantly.  On our way to the airport our cab driver only blew his horn 4 times but one of them lasted for about 23 seconds so it should really count for more than just one time.  Here in The South, if you blow your horn for more than .04 of a second you may get your butt beat! Up in New York, they use their horns as a form of communication.  One cab driver said that there was a fine of $100 for using your horn for any other reason than warning of danger.  All I have to say is that New York would have streets paved in platinum if they really enforced that law. 

There were a few life lessons that I learned on my trip.  The first one was in the airplane on the way there.  We sat 2 rows behind First Class, in Coach, or as my son calls it, "Low Class".  Honestly, there were 12 people in first class and they got their own bathroom.  All of us in Low Class were warned not to use "their" bathroom.  We were told to use the bathroom in our section of the plane. (Umm.  Isn't that discrimination?) Then as the plane ascended to cruising altitude an attendant pulled a mesh curtain.  WE CAN STILL SEE YOU!! The curtain is mesh, not a thick velvet or even a nice damask!!  MESH!!!  With mesh curtains, you can still smell all of us smelly people back here in Low Class.  You can still hear us.  You even have to look at us if you look behind you so was it really worth the extra money you had to fork out to sit 2 rows ahead of me?  Yes they get a wider seat and an itty, bitty pillow but so what?  I can roll up my jacket and have a pillow too!!  Then later I was talking to my son and we were talking about how airlines board planes.  I said that I would never understand why they didn't board the planes back to front.  I mean, it would go much quicker.  Then he said that he could not figure out why first class was in the front of the aircraft because you have a better chance of living, in the event of a plane crash, in the back of the plane.  That boy has a point!! Since First Class always boards first anyway, why not put them at the back of the plane where it is safest?  That way the first class passengers wouldn't have to have all of us low class passengers walking past them and smelling up their part of the cabin and they would have a better chance of living in case of a plane crash. Well, just so ya'll First Class passengers know, a flight attendant gave my son a FREE pair of earphones!!  Free BABES!! Yes!!

Y'all come back tomorrow for some more life lessons that I learned while we visited New York. Rednecks in the Big City, Baby!!!