Lesson #15,126-Where Are Our American Heroes?

Okay, so we all heard about Chris Brown beating the crap out of Rihanna a few years ago.  We haven't forgotten what her face looked like in those pictures.  Has she?  Seriously?  She is back with this fool!!  And what is up with all of these young girls thinking Chris Brown is a real catch?  I see young girls saying on Facebook that he is so sexy?  WHAT??  I mean, where are these girls mothers?  I would beat my daughters butt if she said that an abusive man was sexy!  He has anger issues!!  He just blew up on some valet a couple of nights ago over having to pay $10 to valet his car.  Huh??  Hey, Chris Brown, Are you stupid?  They don't work for free!!  Just like you don't!!
 
(Kids, This is what a thug looks like! Not a hero!)

I really worry about our kids/teens today.  Their heroes are Kim Kardashian and Miley Cyrus.  Whomever sells the most People magazines is the teen idol of the week.  Why not stop giving people press who have done nothing in their lives?  Paris Hilton never did anything but make a sex tape and inherit money.  Same thing with Kim Kardashian.  That is what they are famous for!!  Then there is Lindsay Lohan.  She is just a train wreck, drug addict and thief!!  What is the fascination with these losers?  Why don't we have higher standards for our idols? 

 
(These are not heroes!!)

 
(This certainly is not a hero!)

 
(Neither is this!!!)

My heroes and idols have changed since I was a teenager.  I used to think that actors and rock stars were the most awesome people.  Now I know the truth.  Mere humans are fallible but there are a few that I look up to and respect.  One is my friend, Kathy Bragg.  Kathy is in charge of our Community Shelter here in town.  They serve 3 meals a day, provide food and supplies to not only homeless but also disadvantaged families in the community and, of course, provides shelter for the night to our homeless.  Another friend, Sheila Crunkleton, is in charge of our local chapter of The Red Cross.  Sheila and Kathy are my heroes because they are not only good people but also care about our entire community.  Every fundraiser for every charitable organization here in the area will include Kathy and Sheila.  I have never seen either one of them on the cover of People Magazine, In Touch, US Weekly or even rags like The National Enquirer!!  If I ever do, I will know that Americans have changed their priorities!!  Don't expect to see Kathy or Sheila on the cover of a magazine though.  They will have to settle for a little praise from my little blog!!  Here's to you ladies!!!
 
These are heroes.  Kathy Bragg and Sheila Crunkleton.

Life Lesson #15,037-Bullying Sucks

Life Lesson #15,037-Bullying Sucks

Disclaimer:  This blog is NOT a funny one!! 

I have to say that bullying has gone to a whole new level from when I was a kid.  Kids got laughed at and made fun of when I was going to school but nothing like it is these days.  With social media, email, cell phones and the Internet, kids have no chance of getting away from their bullies even when they are at home.  I have heard of kids making Facebook pages about hating another child.  I have heard about some kids having a Facebook, MySpace or even Instagram and kids "stalking" them and saying horrible things to them on the Internet for everyone to see.  I think it is very important that we all speak to our children about the consequences of bullying if they are caught doing it.  I also think this starts at home.  If a child hears their parents speaking horribly about another person, they will think it is okay.  I know that we all are guilty of doing it but we all need to think about what we say in front of them.
 

We need to teach our children that if they bully people then they will have serious consequences at home.  If your child is accused of bullying then you need to get to the bottom of it.  Don't look at that kid through rose colored glasses.  Bullies are really the wimpiest and most insecure people that have ever lived.  If someone is bullying or pushing around a child with a physical or mental ailment then they have serious issues that should be addressed.  Some kids have problems which cannot be seen by the naked eye.  These kids should be especially looked out for by our children.  They don't have to be best friends with someone to stand up for someone who is being bullied.  Kids with ADD, ADHD, Asperger's and Autism are often misunderstood as being weird but in reality sometimes they lack impulse control and cannot help the way they are acting.  I think kids should be sensitive to these kids.  Please, Please talk to your children about this.


Now bullying doesn't always look like a big boy pushing around a boy who is smaller than him.  Lots of times a bully can look like a beautiful young lady.  I hear Moms talking about how mean girls can be to each other and it makes me so sad.  Kids, teens and young adults live in the moment.  This is why they get in so much trouble.  They think that calling another girl ugly makes them look better or posting nasty things about other girls online makes them look tough.  Don't we all understand by now that suicide is now the way out for these kids who are being bullied?  Was it really worth it for a kid to kill themselves over someone posting something terrible, and usually not even true, about them?  No, of course not but like I said, kids live in the moment.  When you are my age, you could just care less what people say about you but most of the time kids don't have a choice who they are in a room, bathroom, locker room or hall with at school. If someone doesn't like me they can just avoid me and I can avoid them but not our kids! It's just not fair!!



So, what to do if your child is The Bully:
1.  Open your eyes and realize that your child is capable of that behavior.
2.  Realize that your child will probably not change after one talk or one punishment.
3.  Talk to your child about redirecting their bullying behavior to a leadership role.
4.  If you have been called by another parent or the school, make an appointment and talk to your child's teacher or principal and get to the bottom of it.
5.  Be clear that this behavior is unacceptable and follow through with consequences.
6.  Have a zero tolerance rule about bullying.
7.  Know your child's friends and talk to them often.
8.  If it persists talk to the school counselor or a medical/mental health professional.
9.  Let them know that this behavior is dangerous.
10. Make sure that your child understands respect.  By that I mean not only respecting others and their personal space but respecting themselves enough not to do this to others.

What to do if your child is Being Bullied:
1.  Again, open your eyes.  Don't just blow off your child and tell them that "So-n-so was just kidding."
2.  Make the school or other organization aware that this is happening and follow up often.
3.  Make sure that your child knows that they are loved and that they are important in this world.
4.  Encourage your child to walk to class, eat lunch or hang out on the playground with a friend. Strength in numbers.
5.  Make sure that your child has some sort of outlet or hobby.  An activity outside of school can be something to look forward to and enjoy and live for.  Kids who play sports or who have hobbies can blow off steam if they are doing something that they enjoy.
6. Teach your child to say, "STOP"!!
7.  Report this activity to the school and document all of the details of the incident, who was involved and who you reported the incident to at school.
8.  Remind your child that reporting a bully is not the same as tattling.
9.  Communicate with your child.  Talk, Talk, Talk.

If you have anything to add, please do so!

Life Lesson #15,020-Housewives/Stay-at-Home Moms, Is it a competition??

Life Lesson #15,020-Housewives/Stay-at-Home Moms, Is it a competition?
I have a friend who is a "Housewife".  This person can do it all!! This person is a master gardener.  Their garden has won "Yard of the Month" in a small town in South Carolina.  This is a highly coveted award in this small town and there is major competition among the finely manicured lawns lining the streets of the town. **My plants are dying.

This person also cooks wonderful meals most every night.  I see the menu on Facebook every night and think, "Hmm. My hot dogs don't sound as appetizing as their meal".  Seriously, who has time to garden and cook? Their meals are also healthy and probably take hours to cook.  **Mine is unhealthy and took minutes to cook.

This person also does community service throughout their community.  How this person has time to do for others is beyond me.  This person is always helping with community activities and with local charities.  This person even collected shoes for the people of Haiti after the tragedy there a few years ago.  Things like this are always going on at their house.  This person also does community service with local young ladies who are in the pageant world.  This person helps the ladies with every aspect of the pageant process and with their community service as well. Their motto is:  "If you ain't giving, you ain't living."  **I haven't done much for my community lately. I am, however, serving at the Union County Homeless Shelter this Saturday night.

This person hosts the most fabulous parties.  Hundreds of people show up for these parties.  Their Cinco De Mayo Party is legendary.  There is also the Annual Redneck Casserole Supper.  Ice Cream parties. Pretty much any day is a reason to have a party.  A fabulous party, I might add. **I gave up on parties.  It always RAINS!!!



This person and their husband decorate for Christmas beginning in early fall so that the "Santa House" is nearly perfect for the big day.  They have over 20 Christmas trees in their yard for the holiday season.
**I can barely decorate one tree!!
Check this out: 



This person does all of this along with daily duties of a housewife such as laundry, dishes, cleaning, shopping and all other duties that we housewives have.  This person has a grown son and daughter and granddaughter. They now take care of a cat and 4 small dogs (All Yorkies and properly named after the cast of the greatest movie ever made, Steel Magnolias.) and tries to find homes for homeless pets. How cute is that???  **My 3 cats are driving me over the edge!!


This person is a cancer survivor.  You would never know it and you will never hear this person complain about it. **I complain about a hangnail.

Would you like to know who this amazing housewife is??  Are you ready for this??
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Well, here HE is...


Tim is the one on the left.  His husband is Neil on the right.  They live in South Carolina with their 4 dogs and cat in the "Santa House". Tim is the most amazing housewife EVER!!! I aspire in life to be as good a citizen as he is someday!!  **No competition!! Tim wins!!!

Life Lesson #15,017-Human Nature is Inherently Good

Life Lesson #15,017-Human Nature is Inherently Good
Watch this video and you will know what I mean:

http://www.youtube.com/embed/MDOrzF7B2Kg?rel=0

It is the Great Boatlift of 9/11/01 in NYC.  Take 12 minutes and watch the video.  I promise it is worth it.

Life Lesson #15,014-Does Parenting Get Easier?

Life Lesson #15,014-Does Parenting Get Easier?
Well, does it?  Do we ever stop worrying about them?  When we have a little baby and we're getting no sleep we wonder if it will ever get easier.  Then it does.  Well, it gets better when the baby starts sleeping through the night but then there are other things to worry about. Then the baby is getting heavy and you wonder if it will get any easier when they start to walk.  Then it does but then they want to walk around everywhere and you have to watch them every second of the day or the kid will be in the street.  Then they start preschool and you have a little extra time in the morning and you expect to get more done since you have 3 hours without the kid/kids.  Once you get the kid to preschool and get home to take your shower and get ready, you get beds made and 2 loads of laundry done, it is time to pick up the kid from school.  Then you wonder if it gets any better when the kids go to elementary school. It does.  It gets better because you have a little more time but you miss the kids when they are gone and you have other things to worry about.  You have to worry about teachers, homework, friends, grades, sports, and extracurricular activities.  Then there is middle school.  We all remember middle school and kids can be so mean. Then High School. High school and fitting in and making good choices and making good grades to get into a good college. Then College!!  Ugh, College. Then Marriage.  Then our children have children.  Then we take worrying to a whole different level.  Then we have to worry about our children, their husband or wife and our grandchildren.  The cycle starts all over again. 

I don't really think that once you have a child of your own you can rest easily ever again.  It's a love that nobody could ever explain to you.  You just have to experience it yourself to understand.  I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love my child.  It's just that different kind of love that takes your breath away.  Kittie Franz once said, "Remember you are not managing an inconvenience, you are raising a human being".  So, I guess it gets easier in some ways but gets harder in others.  Children can drive you crazy some days but when you are away from them, you miss them.  I haven't had a hot meal in almost 13 years because I have to make sure that everyone else has their dinner, drinks, utensils and napkins before I can even put my food on my plate.  I haven't been to the bathroom by myself in almost 13 years either.  If it's not my child it is one of the cats!!  I mean really...give me 2 minutes to pee!! Does anyone else hide the good chocolate?  If it's Hershey's, you can have it!! If it's Cadbury, it's MINE!! And nobody had better touch my Nutella!! But I wouldn't change a thing!  I would gladly have sleepless nights for the rest of my life for my child.  I love you, Boo Boo!!

Life Lesson #15,001

Since I have been alive for more than 15,000 days and "they" say that you learn something new every day, I'm starting my blog at 15,001.  My Life Lesson for today is this:  It is just as important to be a good friend as it is for your friends to be good friends to you.  If you are like me you have hundreds of "Friends" on Facebook.  You may be feeling pretty good about yourself with all of those "Friends".  If you are like me, you have had something sad, happy or exciting happen to you in the past year.  Think about how many of those "Friends" were there to cry with you, laugh with you, cheer with you, cook dinner for you, keep children for you or even just offer to do something for you.  If your answer is all 899 of your "Friends" then I want to know your secret. If you said maybe 3 of your 899 "Friends", you are probably normal.  Now think about how many of those 899 "Friends" have you done things for in the past year?  Again, if you said 3, you are probably normal. Now, why is that?  By definition a "Friend" is a person whom one knows, likes and trusts. A "Friend" is also someone who supports and holds mutual affection for the other person. The simple truth is that most of us really only have less than 10 good friends.

Last summer my stepmother was dying with lung cancer.  Several of my "good friends" kept my son or made dinner for my family while I was out of town.  One of my friends even came and picked up my laundry.  Now that is being a friend!!  I have had a chance to reciprocate for most every person who was there for me last year.  I hope that I was as good of a friend to them as they were to me.  It is important to be a good friend even when our friends disappoint us.  I was actually shocked and amazed by many of my "friends" last year. Some who I was sure would be there for me didn't even send a text to say that they were very sorry for my loss.  Some who I was sure would send me a text, actually came to my stepmother's funeral.  Her funeral was 40 minutes away from where we live. I will just take you back to that day for a minute.  I am sitting with my family and I look over to my left side and all of my girlfriends are taking up the first 2 rows of the church pews.  Some of them took the day off of work.  Some of them came home early from vacation.  To know that I had 2 full rows of friends there for me meant more to me than any of them will ever know. I have always said that if you want to know who your true friends are, #1 Have a baby. #2 Get sick. #3 Have a loved one die. 

Let's don't wait for events to happen in our "friends" lives.  Let's be good friends to each other even when we don't "need" each other.  You never know how much it will mean to someone just to get that affirmation of your friendship.  Don't wait until something bad happens to be a friend.