Lesson #150,160-That's All I can stands, I can't stands no more! (24 hour news, that is.)

That's All I can stands, I can't stands no more! (24 hour news, that is.)

Remember Popeye saying that?

That's pretty much where I am in life. Smack dab in the "I can't stands no more!" era. 

Remember when we were young and the local TV station would broadcast the local news at 6:00pm and then at 6:30pm Walter Cronkite would come on and tell us about what was happening around the country and the world?  Weren't those the good old days?  We didn't have the constant streaming 24/7 news cycle.  We had one hour to listen to everything going on both locally and all over the world.  At the end of every broadcast Walter Cronkite would say "And that's the way it is" and we could watch Sanford & Son, All in the Family or whatever sitcom or drama was on TV and know that what Walter Cronkite had said that night was pretty much, well, the way it was.  I miss Walter Cronkite.

Nowadays, if you watch any of the 24 hour news channels, you cannot be sure what to believe.  It goes a little something like this...

"BREAKING NEWS!! Farmer Fred's mule has died.  More on the story as details emerge..."

1hour later...

"Farmer Fred's mule was the oldest mule in the world and has passed away at the age of 45.  We have dispatched our reporters to the farm in Idaho to learn more details.  More on the story later in our broadcast..."

5 times before the reporters even get to Farmer Fred's farm, the newscasters, in the studio, announce that the mule is dead, in between other news stories from around the country and the globe.

An hour later, a reporter arrives at the rural farm to find Farmer Fred out in one of his pastures alongside of a mule which is surely dead.  Legs straight up in the air.  Dead.  The reporter does his best to break the news to the entire world that Old Silas is, in fact, dead.  Every one of the reporters in the newsroom is sad to hear that Silas The World's Oldest Mule has died.  So they begin to wonder what happened to old Silas.  "More details to come on the death of Silas..."

Farmer Fred is a little sad that Silas has passed away but being an old farmer, he knows that things like this happen often on the farm so he goes about his business and calls a neighbor who has a backhoe and another friend who has a truck with a lift, in hopes that they are willing to help him bury old Silas on his 500 acre farm.  Of course, this is a farming community so they agree to help each other and soon will arrive to help Farmer Fred.

By now, every news organization has picked up the story and all of the satellite trucks, camera crews and reporters are camped out at the entrance of Fred's farm.  Everyone rushes to get the next event covered before the other station can "break the news".  By now a crowd has formed outside of the gate.  Onlookers, neighbors, family friends.  The reporters begin to interview people in the crowd before the backhoe and the lift can get to the farm to help.  Family friends begin telling the reporters about how Fred was a young man when Silas was born and how he had taken care of Silas as he worked the farm.  Fred and Silas had plowed many of the fields before Fred could afford a tractor.  Some of the neighbors are then interviewed and they tell the same story of how Fred and Silas plowed the fields and how Silas would carry the crops on his back while Fred led him. 

Now the backhoe and truck with the lift arrive..."BREAKING NEWS...Silas, the oldest mule in the world, to be buried before sunset on the Idaho farm where he lived his life with Farmer Fred.  More as this story develops..." 

BUT WAIT!!  Some of the onlookers begin talking amongst themselves and begin to wonder aloud if Farmer Fred worked poor Silas to death.  A reporter overhears the conversation and hurries over to interview the onlookers. 

"BREAKING NEWS (AGAIN!!) This is John Sterling with XYZ Network reporting from Farmer Fred's farm in Idaho where news has just broken that Farmer Fred may have abused his mule, working the poor mule to death in 100 degree heat some days and no water trough for Silas to drink from.  More details as they come in.  Back to the studio."

Now Farmer Fred is an older gentleman and he is used to doing the hard job of farming so he is completely focused on digging a deep hole for Silas to be buried in so he goes about choosing a spot that isn't too far away but not in the middle of his pasture.  He begins digging in the chosen spot and he notices that an awfully large crowd has formed and some people have began to yell at him, throw rocks at him and some even have signs that read "Fred Murdered Silas".  Farmer Fred doesn't even recognize any of the people who are yelling at him and throwing rocks.  Now, I have to tell you that if you have never seen a large barnyard animal such as a horse, cow or a mule, that has died, being hoisted up by its legs, it is not for the faint of heart.  Farmer Fred has spent his entire life on a farm so he already knows what is about to happen.  As the straps tighten on the lift and Silas is being lifted in the air, there suddenly appears a drone over the field and Fred doesn't know this but the burial of Silas is being broadcast all over the world by now.  Farmer Fred covers the mule with the earth that he uncovered to bury his oldest animal. 

Now, y'all, this has taken hours.

When the machinery turns off and Farmer Fred has finished to task of burying Old Silas, he walks slowly down the road to the entrance to his farm to see what the ruckus is all about and to say hello to the one friend and one neighbor left in the rowdy crowd.  An onslaught of reporters with cameramen in tow with long booms, that to him looks like a raccoon on a stick, rushes to him to get a statement about the death of Old Silas.

"BREAKING NEWS (AGAIN!!!) We have with us, Farmer Fred, who murdered his 45-year old mule Silas after years of abuse, manual labor and malnourishment.  Farmer Fred, what do you have to say for yourself?  We have animal rights activists here who want to know why you worked that poor mule to death.  Why did you bury Silas so soon after he passed?  What are you hiding?" 

 

The chanting crowd behind the pool of reporters is crying "Justice for Silas!" over and over. 

Farmer Fred takes off his hat. Wipes his sweaty brow and says "Do you see this field over here? It is filled with alfalfa. Do you see those barrels over there? They are filled with only purified spring water. Now, do you see that old tractor over there? That old tractor is what I have used for the past 42 years to harvest the alfalfa that Silas loved to eat.  That old tractor has been my plow for the past 42 years.  Silas hasn't worked a day since but he was my animal to take care of so I took care of him like he was my pet for the past 42 years.  Yes, he pulled my plow for a couple of years before I could afford that old tractor but Silas was a big strong mule and I needed him and he needed me.  I needed him to make an honest living and to feed my family and many others in this community.  He needed me to keep him fit, fed and watered.  And, folks, sometimes farm animals die.  And that's the way it is."

   

And tomorrow Old Silas and Farmer Fred will be forgotten on page 12 of the local newspaper.

Why?  Because all the reporter needed to say was that the oldest mule had passed away.  We don't need hours or days of speculation on one subject.  Can we just find out the facts before reporting them?  What happened to investigative journalism?  What happened to honesty in journalism?  What happened to telling the public the truth?  Do we have to question what could happen, should happen, didn't happen, won't happen...It's not THE WAY THAT IT IS anymore!! 

*All Images courtesy of Google Images.

Lesson #150,159-Some Truths That Need To Be Said OUT LOUD!!

Some Truths That Need To Be Said OUT LOUD!!

Okay, so I am on my soapbox today.  Don't like it?  Don't Care.  There are some truths that need to be said out loud.

1.  Dear Hollywood, Your portrayal of Southerners is ridiculous.  Nobody really speaks that way.


Photo credit: ehow.com

2.  While I am on Hollywood...All of you actors, singers, comedians, directors and producers, just do what you are good at and shut up about politics and religion.  Nobody cares what you think.  You live in LaLa Land and have no clue what is going on with real people.   Well, except for the Kardashians and you know that they are all "real" people.  I mean, why are they famous?  Because Kim made a sex tape with some guy?  Okay, well, there are plenty of housewives out at the baseball fields of America who have done the same thing.

3.  If you don't judge me, I won't judge you.  It's not my job to judge you and it's not your job to judge me.  If you are gay, drink alcohol or smoke a little pot once in a while, that's your business.  Unless you are endangering a child in some way, I'm gonna mind my own business.  If I know that you are high or drunk and are driving children around, then it will become MY business.  Call an Uber!!


Photo credit: etsy.com

4.  Most Christians aren't homophobic, judgmental, angelic, perfect or boring.  Most of us realize that we are all sinners.  Some "sins", we just can't give up.  Sneaking a glass of wine or cocktail in a restaurant where none of your fellow church members are enjoying a meal?  Why?  God sees you. Why do you care what humans think?  Oh yeah, those Christians who think they are perfect.  There aren't many of you.  Reminds me of a joke.  What's the difference in a Baptist and a Methodist?  The Methodist will say hi to you in the liquor store.  And don't get me started on gossiping.  You don't want me to go there.  Most everyone is guilty of a little gossiping.  Or a lot.

5.  Most white people aren't racist.  Sorry Whoopi Goldberg and Al Sharpton.  It just isn't true.  I am a white, Southern woman and I am happy to say that my son was 10-years old before he ever heard the "N" word and it wasn't from his parents or at school.  He heard it while watching the movie "Forrest Gump".   I am fairly certain that I was younger than that when I heard it for the first time.  I'm not saying that racism is totally dead but don't think that I am racist because I am white.  I do community volunteer work and if you ask any person/family that I have helped if I treat any color differently, they will tell you "Absolutely Not"!!


Photo credit: issuu.com

6.  All black people aren't thugs, deadbeat dads, on food stamps and angry.  The media portrays the black community as angry, violent, protesting gangs.  If I were part of the black community, I wouldn't be very happy about how I was being portrayed.  Are there gangs? Yes.  Are there deadbeat dads? Yes, but there are just as many deadbeat white dads.  Look up what Benjamin Watson has to say about race relations.  You can google it.

7. Not all parents, these days, are helicopter parents.  We are definitely more plugged into our children than our parents were, maybe because we can look up grades online and we know how competitive college can be these days, but we aren't all psychotic about grades and sports.  I'm not a helicopter parent but I do ask my son if he has done his homework or studied for a test.  I trust what he says and leave him alone about it.  He doesn't have to be the best in his class.  I don't expect perfection.  He doesn't have to be the best soccer player.  I'm not paying extra for personal training for a sport that only sees less than 1% of players ever play professionally.  Some parents out at the soccer field think their kid is going to be the next legend! Here's a little hint...He isn't!  All I ask from my son is that he tries his best.  If his best is a 90, then that's his best!!  If one goal in a season is his best, then that's his best!!

Photo credit: parenting.com

8.  If you hate America, leave.  If I see you burning a flag, I will come after you.  You know that thing about minding my own business?  Well, that's out the window if you are burning a flag!!  There are plenty of people who want to come to America so feel free to leave if you don't love America. Our soldiers didn't fight battles against other countries so you would burn our flag, they fought so you would have the right to speak your mind and go home and know that soldiers from another country wouldn't be at your door trying to take your rights away.  You have the freedom to worship or not. You can own a firearm or not.  You can get an education.  You can work.  You can start a business. You have the freedom to vote for whomever you want.  You can even write in Mickey Mouse, if you so choose. (Mickey Mouse may do a better job than some of the clowns in Washington.) Oh and respect our veterans!! This is America.  The land of opportunity. If you don't love America, move to Iran. You will love it there!


Photo credit: oregonlive.com

9.  If you don't believe the same thing that I do, just keep moving.  Don't try to argue with me to win me over to your way of thinking.  It won't work.  I believe in God.  If you don't, that is up to you.  I don't drive a Prius.  If you do, good for you.  I own guns.  If you don't agree that I should be able to own a firearm for protection, then you just call 911 and wait.  I believe in Capitalism.  Why?
Because with hard work and an education, we have gone from a trailer park to a two-story brick house on a quiet street. Nobody gave us anything.  People say "But you're just lucky" and my husband says "The harder he works, the luckier he gets".

10. Is everyone "offended" by something?  If you disagree with the President, you are "racist".  If you disagree with a person's lifestyle, you are "intolerant".  If you are a Republican, you are labeled as "ignorant",  "racist", "bigoted", "sexist", "closed minded" and my personal favorite is "redneck".  As a (mostly) Republican, I am "offended" by these labels.  I am not racist, intolerant, ignorant, bigoted or sexist.  I did grow up in a small town in South Carolina so I may show a little redneck occasionally but only when I am passionate about something!!  If you mess with my family, I WILL go Walmart on you!! Otherwise, No!!  Now, there is a difference in "redneck" and "white trash". Rednecks are often thought to be uneducated, Southern, white and rude.  I have found the opposite to be true.  A redneck will stop and help you change a flat tire in the rain.  White trash will drive right past you, honk the horn and laugh. White trash can drive a Maserati or a truck! I happen to know several black "rednecks".  They are not an urban legend! They are real.  You will see them at a Blake Shelton concert. (You know who you are, Nikki.)  You will see them fishing and driving big trucks.  I would venture to say that Cam Newton of the Carolina Panthers and the Alabama Crimson Tide, is a redneck.  He drives the most jacked up pickup truck you have ever seen! Anyway, People, stop being so sensitive!!  If a black person tells a joke about a white person (even me) I can take it!!  If I hear a joke about women drivers, I can take it!!  (I did scratch my car on a post once and I had to have my car towed out of a ditch once because I overshot a 3 point turn.)  Get a backbone. Grow thicker skin. Stop whining!! Geez, Louise!! We are raising a generation of wimps already. Most children can't fight a battle on their own anymore.  I got picked on in school for being short.  I still do.  You know what?  I don't care!!  If it offends you that I spanked my son when he was young, too bad.  We can compare my spanked child to your "time out" child any day! He may be in therapy someday but it won't be from popping him on the butt to get his attention.  He may be in therapy because of the dinner conversations with his parents and for being too honest about life and how the real world works but not because of a swat on his bum!!  I'm not easily offended.  Maybe that's why I am a happy person. #NotButtHurt


Photo credit: plus.google.com

Okay, so feel free to add to my list but these were the Top 10 pressing truths that needed to be said OUT LOUD!!  I have 10 more but I'm tired and don't feel like lecturing tonight so I'm done.

Lesson #150,158-When I Was a Kid...

150, 158-When I Was a Kid...

Okay, so when I was a kid, boy oh boy, were times very different.  No, we didn't have cell phones.  We had a phone in the kitchen with a 20 ft. cord so my Mom could cook dinner and talk on the phone at the same time.  It had a dial on it.  It was olive green.  It was the only phone in the house until I was about 10-years old and then there was one in the living room and my parent's bedroom.  Still had a dial on the phone though.  We didn't get "push button" phones until I was a teenager. 
 
We never had cable TV in my house growing up.  We lived out in the country and cable hadn't been buried out that far yet.  We had 4 channels.  NBC, ABC, CBS and an independent TV station, now a Fox station.  Sure, we could have gotten a satellite dish in the 80's but my Dad didn't see the sense in spending money on TV stations.

I didn't have cable TV until I went away to college.  Our dorm was equipped with FREE cable!!  I was so excited to have 20 channels!!  Funny thing was, we hardly ever watched TV in college and when we did we watched the same stations that I had always watched.

We didn't grow up with computers.  Windows were what we looked out of, not icons on our computer.  When we needed to do a report, essay, term paper or research, we had to go to the library and look it up in an encyclopedia.  In college, we used microfilm.  There was a card catalog in the library and we all knew how to use the Dewey Decimal System.  I bet if you asked a kid nowadays if they know what Dewey Decimal is, they would say "Who?". 

Once we  finished our research, we used typewriters to type our papers.  My roommate in college had her very own word processor.  It was awesome!!  It even had an eraser tape!!  Bye, Bye White Out!!  If she was using it, I had to go to the library and use a typewriter.  I didn't like using the typewriters.  I had to use White Out a lot!! 

I could never have imagined, in my wildest dreams, that 25 years later we would be so dependent on items that were not even available back then.  If I leave the house without my cell phone, I panic.  What did our parents do in carpool line rather than look at a phone and checking emails?  Oh, that's right.  They MADE us ride the bus!!  How did they know what to do all day long without constant texts from people telling us what to do next?  Oh, that's right.  They made a "To Do" list and went by that.  If it wasn't on the list, it didn't get done until the next day, when a phone call was made letting them know what to do.  What if a child was sick and a parent couldn't be reached at home or at work?  Oh, that's right.  We went to the nurses office and the nurse would tell us to suck it up until one of our parents could be reached or we would be sent back to class.  When we got home, if we forgot a book at school, that was just too bad.  My parents wouldn't drive back to the school to save my butt.  I should have remembered to bring all materials home with me.  What if I had left something at home that I had forgotten and didn't bring to school?  Same thing.  I got a big, fat ZERO on the assignment because my parents wouldn't bring it to me, the teacher wouldn't let us go to the office and use the phone to call home for it and the teacher wouldn't let us turn it in the next day.  If the assignment was due on Tuesday, it wouldn't be accepted on Wednesday.  No, my parents and teachers weren't terrible people.  That's just the way it was.  This would not go over well with today's helicopter parents!!!!

A "Tweet" was something that a bird did.  A "Post" was something that held up a fence or a sign.  A "Wall" wasn't something to write on.  (You would get into BIG trouble for that!!)  A "Feed" involved eating.  "Text" was something in a book that you probably didn't want to read.  A "Pin" was something to hem a skirt with.  A "Map" was something that was folded up in the glove compartment and you planned your trip by that map and you had better not miss a turn or you would drive 50 miles out of your way and have to stop at a gas station to figure out where you were supposed to turn.  A "Selfie", "FaceTime" and an "App" wasn't a thing.  We took pictures with a camera and had to wait 7 days to see if they were worthy of being "posted" in a picture frame.  We wrote letters.  We passed notes in class.  We waited for hours by the phone waiting for our boyfriends or a boy we liked to call us. (Back then girls didn't call boys!!)  Yahoo was something that cowboys would say.  Google was something that you did with your eyes.  If you wanted to know the weather, you had better watch the news at 6:00 or 11:00pm and you had to hope that the weatherman was right.  We didn't have spell check.  We had to learn how to write in cursive.  A "Snap Chat" would have been considered a quick talk.  If we wanted to hear a song, we had to call a local radio station and make a request.  Then we would record it on a cassette tape and hope that the DJ didn't talk over the beginning or the end.  A "flash drive" probably would have been someone "mooning" you as they drove past.  A "newsfeed" would have been the teleprompter that a newscaster would read on the news, which back then would have been cue cards.  Your "inbox" was your locker with a note stuck in the vents. 


I'm glad that I didn't grow up in a time when social media was a thing.  We had conversations with each other.  If we didn't like someone, we just didn't like them.  We didn't bash them on a "site" (which was a "place") for everyone to see.  We might pass a letter to them to let them know why we didn't like them but the entire world wouldn't be privy to our conversation. 

Wow.  Life sounds pretty darn primitive back then.  Yeah, I'm okay with that.  Life was much simpler back then.  Being plugged in 24/7 ain't what it's cracked up to be.  Just try to take a nap with your cell phone in the same room.  Impossible.

Don't Do That. It Won't Change Anything!!-150,157

Don't Do That.  It Won't Change Anything!!

Okay, so we all should know that yelling at the weatherman won't change the weather.  If you don't like heat, cold, rain or snow, you have no place to go on Earth and there is nobody on the planet that can change it.  It's almost like the old saying goes...Don't shoot the messenger!  Don't do that.  It won't change anything.


Speaking of shooting the messenger, sometimes being the messenger can get you into trouble.  "Your child did this to my child."  "Your husband is cheating on you."  "You know that she talks about you behind your back, right?"  See what I mean?  You may be the one who gets shot instead of the child, the husband or the backstabbing friend.  Someone might come back to you with "Well, what did your child do to my child to make my child do that to your child?" or "How do you know that my husband is cheating on me?  Did you see it with your own two eyes?" or "Have you heard that friend talk about me?  What did you say when she said that about me?  Did you stick up for me?  What did she say then?"  Don't do that.  It won't change anything.


So, the teenager that is working the drive thru didn't give you your sandwich without pickles.  What do you do?  Do you go inside and berate him or her for putting pickles on your hamburger?  Do you drive back around in the drive thru line and make the teen give you another burger without pickles?  Do you ask for the manager?  Don't do that.  It won't change anything.


Your Facebook friend who you haven't seen in over 25 years posts something about politics that you don't agree with.  What do you do?  Do you "unfriend" that person?  Do you start an argument with that person on their Facebook page?  Do you state your opinion and try to lead this idiot over to your way of thinking because, clearly, they are uninformed or uneducated about what they are saying?  Don't do that.  It won't change anything.


What about if you hear that someone, who you think is a good friend, has been talking about you behind your back?  Do you confront them with what you have heard?  Do you rat out your friend who told you this information?  Do you totally ignore this person the next time that you see them?  Do you start talking about them all over town?  Don't do that.  It won't change anything.


The older I get, the more I think about this.  I think back to when I was young and I remember being short tempered and quick to react to a situation.  I have learned to sleep on it for one night.  If it still bothers me in the morning, maybe I should consider doing something.  99 times out of 100, I don't lose any sleep over things that don't matter in my life and with every new day, I have a choice to be happy or to be miserable.  I can choose to live in the past or live for the future, without forgetting to live today.  In the grand scheme of life, does it really matter if I had pickle juice on my hamburger bun?  Does it matter what other people's children do?  Does it matter what someone else thinks of me?  No.  If my husband ever dared to cheat on me, that would be his choice and he would have to live with the consequences just as I would have to live with the consequences of an affair that I dared to have.  The weatherman isn't in charge of the weather and if my Facebook friend has a differing opinion than I do regarding politics, I just keep scrolling.  Is it really worth losing a friend over an opinion?  Don't do that.  It won't change anything.

Lesson #150,156-What Not To Give As a Christmas Gift

What Not To Give As A Christmas Gift

Okay, so 'Tis the Season, Right?  'Tis not the season for Re-gifting.  Well, turns out, it is. 

Bath Salts

Nobody really wants bath salts.  Nobody really uses bath salts.  Nobody has time for a bath.  Bath salts never really melt.  They just float around on top of the water or sink to the bottom of the tub, making it uncomfortable to move around.  I think that there have only really been a few bottles of bath salts ever purchased and they just keep getting passed around from friend to friend.  The bottles may get used once but never again because the crunchy pebbles do not relax you.  If anything, they stress you out.  First, they won't melt.  Second, they hurt your bottom.  Third, they are supposed to de-stress but the end up "distressing" the user. Forth, since they never melt, you have to clean the tub and rake the granules down the drain.  Last, you have to keep the bottle of bath salts visible in your bathroom, just in case your friend ever needs to use the upstairs bathroom in the master bedroom so that they can possibly, maybe see that you appreciate their gift.  Yes, the bottle is dusty and only one scoop has been used but what if Martha shows up to your house and wants to use your bathroom, even though there are 2 other bathrooms in your home and one is downstairs??  They must be on display!!

Christmas Mugs

Doesn't everyone already have 15 odd Christmas mugs in their cabinet already?  If you come to my house in July and want a cup of coffee, you will probably drink it from one of our Christmas mugs.  There is a Santa one.  A snowflake one.  A couple of tall snowmen mugs. One with an elf.  I can't even find my real coffee mugs because of all of the Christmas mugs in my cabinet.  If you are buying me a Christmas mug, go ahead and buy an entire set so that everyone can have the same mug to drink from.

A Single Christmas Ornament

At our age, we are all funny about our Christmas trees.  Some people have one Christmas tree and some have 15 but we have our decorations for all of our trees carefully planned out already.  Strategically, placed blue and silver trees.  A kitchen tree with food items.  Our children's tree with all of the ornaments that they have made or collected over the years. Our main tree with all our finest collections of ornaments and bows and such.  We don't want a single Christmas ornament to have to hang on the back of the tree!!  Yes, that is where a single, but nice, Christmas ornament goes.  The dreaded back of the tree.

A Scented Candle

Everyone loves for their home to smell good but that one scented candle that has sat on your bar for the past year, is not the perfect last minute hostess gift.  You know that it is dusty.  You know that you have dusted off an unlit candle and put it in a used gift bag before.  Admit it.  Scented candles are pretty and smell good to some people but most people get a headache from a scented candle.  Plus, if you are serving food, a scented candle is not a good idea.  It changes the flavor of the food because of the sense of smell.  Now if you have a room full of people who have mutant noses that have no more sense of smell, feel free, but please spare the rest of us the pain of the migraine from your scented candle.  (Now, I am preaching to myself here because I have one candle in my bathroom that is scented and I do light it when people are coming over just in case anyone needs to, ya know, do a quick #2 in the downstairs bathroom that everyone else is using.) 

Best Friends Picture Frame

Okay, so everyone has more than one friend who thinks that they are your best friend.  When you give Martha a framed photo of yourself and her on vacation together in a "Best Friends" picture frame, you know that will hurt Tara's feelings if she sees that.  Maybe you just want to lay claim to Martha.  Maybe you want to give ole Tara a hint.  Me and Martha are Best Friends and you, Tara, are the other friend.  WE are "Best Friends"!!  Plus, you just added to Martha's list of items to dust. 

"Basically, anything that needs to be fed, watered or dusted is a bad idea."-Susan Radford (The new Emily Post)  This includes plants, pets or picture frames.  Susan also says that any kind of food or alcohol is proper.  Anyone who knows Susan knows that she isn't kidding.  You may never drink the bottle of Johnny Walker but someone who visits your home in the next 10 years may want a shot of Johnny Walker.  That makes it proper, unless the person that you give it to is a recovering alcoholic.  Then you may have made a horrible decision in bringing your dusty bottle of Johnny Walker.

Good ideas:

Who doesn't like a lantern?  Who doesn't like a lantern with goodies inside of it?

Another great idea, especially if you are staying overnight.  This idea lets the host know that they do not have to get up early in the morning and make a big breakfast.  It will be of great relief to the host that you won't be a high maintenance guest.


This is a great idea, especially if you are visiting friends or family who do not drink alcohol.  You bring your own, drink it when you feel is proper and leave the beautiful bottle as the gift to the friend or family member.  If someone is opposed to alcohol for themselves for religious reasons or for health reasons, this will keep your host from feeling like they have to go and buy alcohol for you to drink.


To me this is the best gift ever!!!  It shows me that you are willing to eat off of a paper plate and that you don't expect the fine china to be pulled down from the top shelf.  The fine china hasn't been used since...well...never.  

I hope these tips are useful and that we are all mindful of others during the holiday season. Make sure that any guest who has a food allergy is accommodated.  If you are a strict vegan, bring your own dish of food to share. (You are usually the minority.)  If you are at a meal or party where a prayer is said and you don't believe in God, bow your head anyway. (It's the right thing to do.) If you are hosting a party, make sure to have something to drink without alcohol in it.  (You never know what someone has been through.)  Be mindful of anyone who has lost a family member in the past year.  (Don't go on and on about how great your Mom is to a friend who has just lost their Mom.)  If you don't love your Mother-in-law, invite her to your house anyway!!! (She may be lonely and you can stand anyone for a couple of hours. Plus, she probably longs to see her son or daughter.)  Remember that life is too short to hurt feelings or to waste time feeling hurt.  We have to let things go sometimes.  We can't change the world but we can change how we react to the world.

Happy Holidays.
Merry Christmas.
Happy Hanukkah.
Happy Everything.

Lesson # 150,155 Profession vs Purpose

Profession Vs Purpose

Okay, so I haven't written a blog in a while.  I've been a little busy.  Life has changed a lot since my last blog.  In May, my Daddy passed away.  It was a long road for him to go down.  Cancer stinks!  I wouldn't wish it on anyone.  Saying goodbye to him was hard but I know that he is not in pain anymore and that gives me great comfort.  I'm not a sappy person.  I try to always be strong.  I hate to cry.  Dealing with the death of a loved one is never easy but after seeing him suffer so long, it was bittersweet.  The night that he was dying, my sisters and I sat with him all night long and we laughed and we cried and we laughed some more and we cried some more.  Laughing is our coping mechanism.  We sat around telling funny stories about things that we used to do to our parents and things that they would do to us.  One time, Daddy took a nap on the couch and I painted his fingernails candy apple RED!!  Then I couldn't find the polish remover.  It was funny to me but he wasn't as amused as I was!  My sister and I would tape the handheld water sprayer so that when Daddy or Katherine (my stepmother who was my mother!!) would turn on the kitchen faucet, the water would squirt them.  Again, they didn't find it as amusing as we did, especially when they were trying to cook dinner!!  Our parents had a little payback and would do things to embarrass us too.  We grew up in a small town and all there was to do was ride around town and park at the carwash and talk to our friends.  One night they drove through town to get some ice cream and saw us sitting at the carwash with all of our friends.  We watched in horror as they turned around and rolled down the windows and cranked up their radio to the worst country western music they could find and they pulled in the carwash and drove around and around us yelling "Hey Colette.  Hey Denise" and blowing the horn! Our friends thought it was hilarious.  We weren't as amused as they were.  We did have some great times together.  We love them and miss them both dearly. (Katherine passed away 3 years ago, also of cancer.)



At my Dad's funeral, the pastor read some passages from the Bible and some from my Dad's favorite book.  It's called "The Dash" by Linda Ellis.  It talks about the dates on your headstone.  There is your date of birth and the day that you died but what matters most is the "dash" between those dates.  It got me to thinking about my dash. My dash has held some great times and some not so great times.  Some fun times and some sad times. Wonderful dates are what that dash is made of.  September 21, 1996.  My wedding day.  October 12, 1999.  The day my son was born.  August 22 & 23, 2014.  What was so special about August 22 & 23, 2014?  August 22 was a Friday.  It was hot.  It was a "nothing special" kind of day.  I had been inducted onto the local homeless shelter board on June 2 of this year.  One of the Case Managers had sent an email asking if anyone had any furniture that they could donate to a couple of ladies who had gone through counseling and were ready to rebuild their lives.  They were moving into a small apartment and they needed everything to set up a house.  I had a kitchen table and 6 chairs, a hutch and a small cabinet that we had bought when my husband and I had gotten married and it was just taking up room in our garage.  I emailed the case manager back and said that I had those pieces to donate.  She said "Great!! You can deliver it at this address after 4:00 today."  I was like, OoooooKaaaaaaaaaaay. There goes our date night!!  I wasn't happy about it but when my husband got home from work, we loaded it all into the truck and headed to their apartment.  We got there and I knocked on the door.  I heard a voice say "Come in". We walked in and there were two ladies sitting in the floor.  I looked around the room for their belongings and all they had in that apartment was one lamp.  ONE LAMP!!  That's it!!  Nothing else!!  We started bringing in their kitchen table and chairs.  The kitchen was so small that only 3 chairs would fit but that was okay with them, they would have 3 chairs to use in the living room.  We brought in the hutch and had to put it in the living room.  The ladies were crying and thanking us and crying and thanking us.  For what??  All we did was bring them a table that we had bought 18 years ago at Rooms To Go but they were over the moon happy.  They had happy tears at our "generosity".  When in reality, it was just us getting rid of things that we no longer had any use for.  I asked that question.  I just had to ask that question.  The question that changed my life..."Do you have beds?".  They said, "No".  That answer cut like a knife.  They were so thrilled to have a table and chairs and the hutch and the small cabinet that they didn't realize that all of the color had drained from my face.  I got myself together and I don't know what made me say this but I just blurted out "I will be back tomorrow with 2 beds".  WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT??  I DON'T HAVE 2 BEDS!!!!  I went home and could not get those ladies off of my mind.  I put my pajamas on and crawled into bed feeling like the biggest heel in the entire world.  I was there in my king sized bed with my Pottery Barn bedding, super soft high thread count sheets and there were those women in that tiny apartment with NO BEDS.  No Pottery Barn bedding.  No sheets.  I couldn't stop thinking about them and the promise that I had made to them.  What am I going to do?  I told them that I would bring them beds tomorrow!!  Why did I say that???  So I began to pray.  "Dear God, Please provide me with a couple of beds.  It doesn't have to be tomorrow.  Just some time in the next week or so.  Just please provide me with 2 beds soon.  They will understand if it isn't tomorrow."  Well, the next morning was Saturday and my sister and I were supposed to meet at my Dad's house to clean out his closets.  I walk up to the garage door and punch in the code and as the garage door opens, something catches my eye.  Are you ready for this??         2 beds are in my Dad's garage.  What?  Where did those come from?  I picked up my cell phone and called my sister and asked where those beds had came from.  She said that she had bought a new bedroom suit for herself and for her daughter.  I just had to ask..."What are you going to do with them?"  She said, "I don't know but we need to get rid of them before we put Daddy's house on the market." I said, "Can I have them?" and she said "Yes. That would be great" because she wasn't sure what she was going to do with them.  So, my husband and I loaded them up on the truck, finished cleaning out Daddy's closet and drove back to that tiny apartment and knocked on the door.  The ladies recognized our truck and ran outside crying.  That was it!! I was a goner!!  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  This is my purpose in life!!  Those ladies thought that I was a blessing when, in truth, they were the blessing to me!!  Those ladies who had been homeless yesterday, had shown me what it is that I was put on this earth to do!! Of course, God had it all planned out already.  I have to give Him all of the credit but He used those, no longer, homeless women to show me what I was supposed to do with my life.  And so began what we now call Home Again Rehousing Program!!  Every time I have clients to move out of the shelter into permanent housing, I try to get furnishings and household items for them.  These people don't get shower gifts or housewarming parties like I did when I got started.  A simple can opener, a set of dishes, a cookie sheet, a casserole dish, a pasta strainer, etc. means so much to them!! They are beginning their new lives.  They have gone from hopeless, to homeless, to hope and now to housing. 

Here comes the exciting part.  I was having trouble coming up with beds for our clients.  I had tapped out my friends and family.  I went to our shelter director and told her that I was having trouble getting beds for these people.  She said to let her think about what to do.  The next day she called me and said that an organization was starting up in our community called "Heart for Monroe" and they wanted to help us.  They had asked what they could do for us.  She told them about my new project and they got excited.  They have now partnered with The Original Mattress Company to get us beds at a discounted rate for every new client moving into permanent housing!!  We have now set up numerous households with furniture, beds, bedding and kitchen supplies.  We are making their barren apartments into homes.

Before



After


Before


After


Before


After


Mark Twain once said, "The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why" and that is what makes all the difference in your life.  When you are a child, people often ask you what you want to be when you grow up.  I love to hear the little kids say "A fireman.  A nurse.  A doctor.  A veterinarian. A teacher.  A policeman." but your profession doesn't mean a thing if you haven't found your purpose. Go and find yours.

If you would like to help go to: http://www.unionshelter.org/
Watch the video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otM2tOrf7Rk

Lesson #150,154-Romance isn't dead!! (In the animal kingdom)

Okay, So I have some good news, Ladies!!  Romance is not dead!!  Well, at least not in the animal kingdom.  Sitting in the quiet house with no television, radio or vacuum cleaner on, I can hear the songbirds singing their little hearts out.  Sounds I have never heard before.  The most beautiful singing that I have ever heard.  Those little male songbirds with their feathers all aglow with color and their songs ring through the trees searching for the perfect mate.  All male birds are more beautiful than their female counterparts.  From ducks to little finches, their colors are beautiful. It is meant to attract the ladies.  Lady birds.  I think human men should take notes from these birds.  I mean, I don't think men should dress in feathers and sing, unless you are a drag queen.  Of course, even straight women love a good drag show.  Maybe that's why we love a drag show!!


Why do men hate to dress up so much?  Women love to dress up in our sexy cocktail dresses and heels that we pay way too much for.  Women love makeup and our favorite day of the month is Hair Day!! The day we get to color our gray "plumes" back to our "natural" color.  When men turn gray and have laugh lines, they are considered "distinguished".  When they are distinguished and are dressed nicely, they are considered "dapper".  When women of a certain age are gray and have laugh lines, we are considered "aging" so we fight it tooth and nail with Botox, filler and hair dye.  Even having face lifts or neck lifts. Horrible laser treatments and chemical peels. When it comes to aging, women can be way more vain than our male counterparts. Trust me on this...aging women, such as myself, feel like we are falling apart at the seams.  Aging isn't for wimps!!  In my 20's, if I needed to lose a couple of pounds, I could lose them easily without working out like a mad woman.  Now, I have to work out just to maintain a certain weight.  Muscle isn't built easily.  Fat isn't lost easily.

My point is this, we would like to be wooed like the birds do for their mates, even when we have been together for over 20 years.  Bring me a bouquet of fresh flowers once in a while.  Surprise me with a day at the spa.  Write me a little note and leave it on my pillow.  Believe me, you don't have to sing.  As a matter of fact, please don't!! When we have the chance to go to an event that we have to dress a certain way, JUST DO IT!! I promise that all of us housewives don't expect our men to wear a seersucker suit and a bow tie every day but it would be nice to see our men in some khaki pants and a nice pair of Bucks occasionally.  If you aren't from The South, you probably don't know what Bucks are. Here in The South, a sure way to catch your ladies' eye is to wear a seersucker suit and a pair of Bucks.

I know that women can do better to make sure our mates know how we feel about them.  We get into our daily routines and running children hither and yon, but we would like some romance occasionally too.  Even when we have been married forever!! We all get in our ruts and have an unrealistic view of how marriage should be.  I blame this on Hollywood.  I'm sure that 200 years ago, women knew how married life would be.  Hollywood makes every fairytale romance look like it can be reality.  Let's all make a little more effort in our relationships.  Maybe just eating together in the dining room without cell phones or the TV on.  Maybe even just sitting and talking on the back porch with a cold drink. Let's bring back romance!!  It's not dead!!  Take notes from the birds!!