Don't Do That. It Won't Change Anything!!-150,157

Don't Do That.  It Won't Change Anything!!

Okay, so we all should know that yelling at the weatherman won't change the weather.  If you don't like heat, cold, rain or snow, you have no place to go on Earth and there is nobody on the planet that can change it.  It's almost like the old saying goes...Don't shoot the messenger!  Don't do that.  It won't change anything.


Speaking of shooting the messenger, sometimes being the messenger can get you into trouble.  "Your child did this to my child."  "Your husband is cheating on you."  "You know that she talks about you behind your back, right?"  See what I mean?  You may be the one who gets shot instead of the child, the husband or the backstabbing friend.  Someone might come back to you with "Well, what did your child do to my child to make my child do that to your child?" or "How do you know that my husband is cheating on me?  Did you see it with your own two eyes?" or "Have you heard that friend talk about me?  What did you say when she said that about me?  Did you stick up for me?  What did she say then?"  Don't do that.  It won't change anything.


So, the teenager that is working the drive thru didn't give you your sandwich without pickles.  What do you do?  Do you go inside and berate him or her for putting pickles on your hamburger?  Do you drive back around in the drive thru line and make the teen give you another burger without pickles?  Do you ask for the manager?  Don't do that.  It won't change anything.


Your Facebook friend who you haven't seen in over 25 years posts something about politics that you don't agree with.  What do you do?  Do you "unfriend" that person?  Do you start an argument with that person on their Facebook page?  Do you state your opinion and try to lead this idiot over to your way of thinking because, clearly, they are uninformed or uneducated about what they are saying?  Don't do that.  It won't change anything.


What about if you hear that someone, who you think is a good friend, has been talking about you behind your back?  Do you confront them with what you have heard?  Do you rat out your friend who told you this information?  Do you totally ignore this person the next time that you see them?  Do you start talking about them all over town?  Don't do that.  It won't change anything.


The older I get, the more I think about this.  I think back to when I was young and I remember being short tempered and quick to react to a situation.  I have learned to sleep on it for one night.  If it still bothers me in the morning, maybe I should consider doing something.  99 times out of 100, I don't lose any sleep over things that don't matter in my life and with every new day, I have a choice to be happy or to be miserable.  I can choose to live in the past or live for the future, without forgetting to live today.  In the grand scheme of life, does it really matter if I had pickle juice on my hamburger bun?  Does it matter what other people's children do?  Does it matter what someone else thinks of me?  No.  If my husband ever dared to cheat on me, that would be his choice and he would have to live with the consequences just as I would have to live with the consequences of an affair that I dared to have.  The weatherman isn't in charge of the weather and if my Facebook friend has a differing opinion than I do regarding politics, I just keep scrolling.  Is it really worth losing a friend over an opinion?  Don't do that.  It won't change anything.

Lesson # 150,155 Profession vs Purpose

Profession Vs Purpose

Okay, so I haven't written a blog in a while.  I've been a little busy.  Life has changed a lot since my last blog.  In May, my Daddy passed away.  It was a long road for him to go down.  Cancer stinks!  I wouldn't wish it on anyone.  Saying goodbye to him was hard but I know that he is not in pain anymore and that gives me great comfort.  I'm not a sappy person.  I try to always be strong.  I hate to cry.  Dealing with the death of a loved one is never easy but after seeing him suffer so long, it was bittersweet.  The night that he was dying, my sisters and I sat with him all night long and we laughed and we cried and we laughed some more and we cried some more.  Laughing is our coping mechanism.  We sat around telling funny stories about things that we used to do to our parents and things that they would do to us.  One time, Daddy took a nap on the couch and I painted his fingernails candy apple RED!!  Then I couldn't find the polish remover.  It was funny to me but he wasn't as amused as I was!  My sister and I would tape the handheld water sprayer so that when Daddy or Katherine (my stepmother who was my mother!!) would turn on the kitchen faucet, the water would squirt them.  Again, they didn't find it as amusing as we did, especially when they were trying to cook dinner!!  Our parents had a little payback and would do things to embarrass us too.  We grew up in a small town and all there was to do was ride around town and park at the carwash and talk to our friends.  One night they drove through town to get some ice cream and saw us sitting at the carwash with all of our friends.  We watched in horror as they turned around and rolled down the windows and cranked up their radio to the worst country western music they could find and they pulled in the carwash and drove around and around us yelling "Hey Colette.  Hey Denise" and blowing the horn! Our friends thought it was hilarious.  We weren't as amused as they were.  We did have some great times together.  We love them and miss them both dearly. (Katherine passed away 3 years ago, also of cancer.)



At my Dad's funeral, the pastor read some passages from the Bible and some from my Dad's favorite book.  It's called "The Dash" by Linda Ellis.  It talks about the dates on your headstone.  There is your date of birth and the day that you died but what matters most is the "dash" between those dates.  It got me to thinking about my dash. My dash has held some great times and some not so great times.  Some fun times and some sad times. Wonderful dates are what that dash is made of.  September 21, 1996.  My wedding day.  October 12, 1999.  The day my son was born.  August 22 & 23, 2014.  What was so special about August 22 & 23, 2014?  August 22 was a Friday.  It was hot.  It was a "nothing special" kind of day.  I had been inducted onto the local homeless shelter board on June 2 of this year.  One of the Case Managers had sent an email asking if anyone had any furniture that they could donate to a couple of ladies who had gone through counseling and were ready to rebuild their lives.  They were moving into a small apartment and they needed everything to set up a house.  I had a kitchen table and 6 chairs, a hutch and a small cabinet that we had bought when my husband and I had gotten married and it was just taking up room in our garage.  I emailed the case manager back and said that I had those pieces to donate.  She said "Great!! You can deliver it at this address after 4:00 today."  I was like, OoooooKaaaaaaaaaaay. There goes our date night!!  I wasn't happy about it but when my husband got home from work, we loaded it all into the truck and headed to their apartment.  We got there and I knocked on the door.  I heard a voice say "Come in". We walked in and there were two ladies sitting in the floor.  I looked around the room for their belongings and all they had in that apartment was one lamp.  ONE LAMP!!  That's it!!  Nothing else!!  We started bringing in their kitchen table and chairs.  The kitchen was so small that only 3 chairs would fit but that was okay with them, they would have 3 chairs to use in the living room.  We brought in the hutch and had to put it in the living room.  The ladies were crying and thanking us and crying and thanking us.  For what??  All we did was bring them a table that we had bought 18 years ago at Rooms To Go but they were over the moon happy.  They had happy tears at our "generosity".  When in reality, it was just us getting rid of things that we no longer had any use for.  I asked that question.  I just had to ask that question.  The question that changed my life..."Do you have beds?".  They said, "No".  That answer cut like a knife.  They were so thrilled to have a table and chairs and the hutch and the small cabinet that they didn't realize that all of the color had drained from my face.  I got myself together and I don't know what made me say this but I just blurted out "I will be back tomorrow with 2 beds".  WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT??  I DON'T HAVE 2 BEDS!!!!  I went home and could not get those ladies off of my mind.  I put my pajamas on and crawled into bed feeling like the biggest heel in the entire world.  I was there in my king sized bed with my Pottery Barn bedding, super soft high thread count sheets and there were those women in that tiny apartment with NO BEDS.  No Pottery Barn bedding.  No sheets.  I couldn't stop thinking about them and the promise that I had made to them.  What am I going to do?  I told them that I would bring them beds tomorrow!!  Why did I say that???  So I began to pray.  "Dear God, Please provide me with a couple of beds.  It doesn't have to be tomorrow.  Just some time in the next week or so.  Just please provide me with 2 beds soon.  They will understand if it isn't tomorrow."  Well, the next morning was Saturday and my sister and I were supposed to meet at my Dad's house to clean out his closets.  I walk up to the garage door and punch in the code and as the garage door opens, something catches my eye.  Are you ready for this??         2 beds are in my Dad's garage.  What?  Where did those come from?  I picked up my cell phone and called my sister and asked where those beds had came from.  She said that she had bought a new bedroom suit for herself and for her daughter.  I just had to ask..."What are you going to do with them?"  She said, "I don't know but we need to get rid of them before we put Daddy's house on the market." I said, "Can I have them?" and she said "Yes. That would be great" because she wasn't sure what she was going to do with them.  So, my husband and I loaded them up on the truck, finished cleaning out Daddy's closet and drove back to that tiny apartment and knocked on the door.  The ladies recognized our truck and ran outside crying.  That was it!! I was a goner!!  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  This is my purpose in life!!  Those ladies thought that I was a blessing when, in truth, they were the blessing to me!!  Those ladies who had been homeless yesterday, had shown me what it is that I was put on this earth to do!! Of course, God had it all planned out already.  I have to give Him all of the credit but He used those, no longer, homeless women to show me what I was supposed to do with my life.  And so began what we now call Home Again Rehousing Program!!  Every time I have clients to move out of the shelter into permanent housing, I try to get furnishings and household items for them.  These people don't get shower gifts or housewarming parties like I did when I got started.  A simple can opener, a set of dishes, a cookie sheet, a casserole dish, a pasta strainer, etc. means so much to them!! They are beginning their new lives.  They have gone from hopeless, to homeless, to hope and now to housing. 

Here comes the exciting part.  I was having trouble coming up with beds for our clients.  I had tapped out my friends and family.  I went to our shelter director and told her that I was having trouble getting beds for these people.  She said to let her think about what to do.  The next day she called me and said that an organization was starting up in our community called "Heart for Monroe" and they wanted to help us.  They had asked what they could do for us.  She told them about my new project and they got excited.  They have now partnered with The Original Mattress Company to get us beds at a discounted rate for every new client moving into permanent housing!!  We have now set up numerous households with furniture, beds, bedding and kitchen supplies.  We are making their barren apartments into homes.

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Mark Twain once said, "The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why" and that is what makes all the difference in your life.  When you are a child, people often ask you what you want to be when you grow up.  I love to hear the little kids say "A fireman.  A nurse.  A doctor.  A veterinarian. A teacher.  A policeman." but your profession doesn't mean a thing if you haven't found your purpose. Go and find yours.

If you would like to help go to: http://www.unionshelter.org/
Watch the video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otM2tOrf7Rk

Lesson #150,154-Romance isn't dead!! (In the animal kingdom)

Okay, So I have some good news, Ladies!!  Romance is not dead!!  Well, at least not in the animal kingdom.  Sitting in the quiet house with no television, radio or vacuum cleaner on, I can hear the songbirds singing their little hearts out.  Sounds I have never heard before.  The most beautiful singing that I have ever heard.  Those little male songbirds with their feathers all aglow with color and their songs ring through the trees searching for the perfect mate.  All male birds are more beautiful than their female counterparts.  From ducks to little finches, their colors are beautiful. It is meant to attract the ladies.  Lady birds.  I think human men should take notes from these birds.  I mean, I don't think men should dress in feathers and sing, unless you are a drag queen.  Of course, even straight women love a good drag show.  Maybe that's why we love a drag show!!


Why do men hate to dress up so much?  Women love to dress up in our sexy cocktail dresses and heels that we pay way too much for.  Women love makeup and our favorite day of the month is Hair Day!! The day we get to color our gray "plumes" back to our "natural" color.  When men turn gray and have laugh lines, they are considered "distinguished".  When they are distinguished and are dressed nicely, they are considered "dapper".  When women of a certain age are gray and have laugh lines, we are considered "aging" so we fight it tooth and nail with Botox, filler and hair dye.  Even having face lifts or neck lifts. Horrible laser treatments and chemical peels. When it comes to aging, women can be way more vain than our male counterparts. Trust me on this...aging women, such as myself, feel like we are falling apart at the seams.  Aging isn't for wimps!!  In my 20's, if I needed to lose a couple of pounds, I could lose them easily without working out like a mad woman.  Now, I have to work out just to maintain a certain weight.  Muscle isn't built easily.  Fat isn't lost easily.

My point is this, we would like to be wooed like the birds do for their mates, even when we have been together for over 20 years.  Bring me a bouquet of fresh flowers once in a while.  Surprise me with a day at the spa.  Write me a little note and leave it on my pillow.  Believe me, you don't have to sing.  As a matter of fact, please don't!! When we have the chance to go to an event that we have to dress a certain way, JUST DO IT!! I promise that all of us housewives don't expect our men to wear a seersucker suit and a bow tie every day but it would be nice to see our men in some khaki pants and a nice pair of Bucks occasionally.  If you aren't from The South, you probably don't know what Bucks are. Here in The South, a sure way to catch your ladies' eye is to wear a seersucker suit and a pair of Bucks.

I know that women can do better to make sure our mates know how we feel about them.  We get into our daily routines and running children hither and yon, but we would like some romance occasionally too.  Even when we have been married forever!! We all get in our ruts and have an unrealistic view of how marriage should be.  I blame this on Hollywood.  I'm sure that 200 years ago, women knew how married life would be.  Hollywood makes every fairytale romance look like it can be reality.  Let's all make a little more effort in our relationships.  Maybe just eating together in the dining room without cell phones or the TV on.  Maybe even just sitting and talking on the back porch with a cold drink. Let's bring back romance!!  It's not dead!!  Take notes from the birds!!

Lesson #15,142-If Only These Things Were True!

Okay, so I hear these things all the time and I am really wishing that they were true.  "If you lick the icing off the cupcake, it becomes a muffin.  Muffins are healthy, right?"  I really, really wish this was true because I do love cupcakes!! And muffins.  Just not those whole grain mini muffins with raisins in them.

"The calories go into the doughnut hole".  So, you can eat as many as you want, right?  I mean, it makes sense to me that the calories are flushed right through the doughnut hole!!  Just don't eat the holes!!  I can do that!!  Okay, so it's not true.

What about "What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas"?  Not true.  Your friends will tell everyone what you did and will laugh at you forever!

"It's so easy.  I took these diet pills and lost 120 pounds in 6 months."  Lies!!  I took them for one day and thought I had bugs crawling under my skin!  If you can stand the bugs for 6 months, then you probably can lose 120 pounds!!

Don't even get me started on the happy girls wearing tampons!  I'm not that happy when I am not bleeding like a stuck pig!  I sure as heck ain't happy when I am!!  Stop showing women jumping around, dancing, playing tennis, riding horses or swimming!!  We don't do these things when we are doubled over with cramps!

Just once, I would like to get a burger at a burger joint that looks like the ones in the ads!  Just once, I would like to get the rental car that I thought I was getting from the rental car company.  I thought I was getting a convertible Corvette but in reality I got a Kia minivan!!  Just once, I would like an ice cream cake that I didn't have to take a hack saw to!  Who the heck can cut through these things?  My Frosty at Wendy's never has that cute little swirl on top.  What's up with that?  When I order a cute dress from a catalog, why does it never look as good on me as it does that 5'11", 105 pound model?  Just once!!!  Oh and my weight on my driver's license.  Yeah.  That ship sailed when I was 20 years old!!  Just hope they are able to identify me after the added pounds and hair dye. Oh and the 2 inches taller that I told them I was.  Shut up!! You know that you lie too!!  Why do they even ask?

If only these things were true!!

Leson #15,136-Spring Break 2013!!!! Wooooo! Hooooo!

Okay, so Spring Break 2013 is but a memory now. And just like every other "break" that the school offers, it was not a "break" for any Mama that I know!!  It was nice to sleep until 8am but trying to entertain children when they are out of school for one week is not easy.  They want to go and do this and that.  They want to eat every 30 minutes.  They want to play ping pong, use the big TV in the living room, get on the computer or go outside whenever they want to.  This means that Mama is gonna have to get off of her usual schedule.  If Mama watches Jerry Springer at 11am and the kid wants to watch SpongeBob, the kid will win this battle.  If the Mama usually blogs at noon and the kid wants the laptop and a PB&J, the kid will win this battle also.  If Mama usually naps at 2pm and the kid wants to play ping pong, the kid will win this battle!! 

Okay, so our Spring Break consisted of driving 6 hours to the Georgia mountains.  Did you know that there were mountains in Georgia?  Well, there are mountains there!!  Cute little mountain towns with cute little stores everywhere. And, of course, those few strange mountain people who you are sure are in the Witness Protection Program or that they escaped from the crazy farm.  Yep.  They were there too. Problem is...the boys we were there with have no volume button and have no filter and just cannot resist saying whatever comes to mind.  Yes.  We were stared at but who cares??  We were Moms on Spring Break with boys!!! We didn't care who saw us, what they heard, when they saw us or how loud they were.

Thank goodness that we had alcohol in the fridge every night!!  Frozen margaritas were on the menu daily!!  A break just isn't ever going to be a break for Mamas.  I see that now!!  So, Mamas, Get ready for summer break!! It's a comin'!!

Lesson #15,132-Are Children Happier Than Adults?

Okay, so I have been thinking about why children seem so happy.  For the most part, they are happy people.  I mean they get angry, sad and scared just like adults do but they seem to get over negative emotions more quickly than adults do.

Could it be because children get to play with toys?  I mean toys are very distracting.  Even a very mad baby will sometimes stop crying when they hear a rattling toy.  Maybe adults need distractions to keep us happy.  You thought I was going to say adults need toys, didn't you?  Actually, some adults do have toys!! (Not those toys!)  I mean motorcycles!!  4-wheelers!!  Golf clubs!!  I am positive that I have never seen an adult crying on a motorcycle, 4-wheeler or with a golf club in their hand.  Maybe we all need to find a toy that makes us happy!

Could it be because children aren't jaded by life.  When children are small, they don't care what color a playmate is.  They don't care if the child is chubby or skinny, short or tall, rich or poor.  Anyone who will play is just fine with them.  They don't care if they are dirty.  They don't care if they have clean clothes on.  They don't know if they are wearing designer clothing. They hold no prejudices.  They don't know about social status.  Adults could learn a thing or two from this.

Could it be because they have short attention spans?  They can be crying and angry and a few minutes later they are laughing and seem to have not a care in the world.  If we all could forget our troubles as quickly as children do, we would be happier people.  Maybe it is because children take naps!! Everyone should take occasional naps!!

Could it be because children like colorful things?  If you look around my house, you will see a lot of drab colors that we call "neutrals".  If you look at my clothing, you will see a lot of black and gray.  I have a spot of orange, green and blue here and there but mostly drab colors.  If you look at my sons closet, there are very colorful shirts in his stack.  Green, orange, blue, yellow, red, lots and lots of red!!  Maybe I should wear more colors!!  Also his bedroom and playroom has colorful items on the walls.  Maybe I should hang colorful items on the walls all over the house.  Then maybe we would all be happier people.

Could it be the obvious?  Children don't worry about money.  Mom and/or Dad pays the bills.  If the power is turned off, they don't care.  They love playing with flashlights! If the rent isn't paid, they get to move into a new room.  They get excited about that!!  If someone else would pay our bills, maybe we would be happier.  Okay, yes, we would be happier people.

Let's all agree to find a toy to play with, not be so judgmental, forget about our troubles, be more colorful and find someone to pay our bills!!  Okay, maybe we have to pay our own bills but maybe we should take the other lessons from children and relax and enjoy life and we will find more happiness.

Lesson #15,127-Teacher Work Day? Really??

Okay, so today is a "Teacher Work Day". Let's just call it what it really is, okay? It's a Mommy Work Day. The teachers get a day to get their crap done without the children there to bother them.  Now they are all at home bothering their moms. They will want to go somewhere, eat a few meals and snacks, go and pick up a friend and they will make messes.  They will eat sugary snacks and be wild!! Moms will not get anything done today.  So, I think this Saturday should be a Mommy Work Day.  Ya know? So we can get our crap done without the children here to bother us.  Can we send them to school?  Maybe have them meet at a community center?  How about the library?  Now don't call us at noon to come and get them because they are hungry.  Okay?

I see in my future, going to pick up breakfast. Then maybe a movie.  Then lunch.  Then maybe picking up a friend and going shopping.  I wonder how much money is spent on "Teacher Work Days" to entertain children when we could send them to school for free!!!  I see no shower or make up in my future today.  It will be like every other Saturday around my house.  Then I only have 4 weekdays to get my 5 days of work done in.  There will be no nap today and that sucks!!  Thanks a lot, stupid Teacher Work Day!!  Yes, I said it.  No nap!!  It was on my list of things to do today and now it won't get done because our educators need a day.  Good grief!!  Give me a break!!  No really, give me a break!!  Or just a nap.  A nap will do.




On the up side, we don't have to do the Monday After the Time Change dragging out of the bed thing. Maybe the Teacher's Work Day was a good idea after all!!

Lesson #15,087-What's Your Favorite Medicine?

We all have a favorite drug, right?  Some of us have a go-to drug like Excedrin Migraine or Tylenol PM.  Some of us go to Benedryl at night to help with sleep.  Some of us are lucky enough to have an insurance policy that covers Ambien!  Some of us are not that fortunate so we HAVE to take Benedryl.  No.  I'm not bitter about it.  Really I am not.  Really.  (Stupid Blue Cross Blue Shield!!!)

Some of us have a favorite drug to keep us from ripping the heads off of everyone who pisses us off.  I would like to know how many lives have been saved by Xanax and Valium.  I know that people have overdosed on these drugs but these drugs have probably saved a lot of husbands from being hacked to death in their sleep for making that whistling noise with their noses.  You know that noise, right?  Annoying, right?

Some of us have aches and pains so we have a go-to pain killer.  Some of us have insomnia so we have a go-to sleep medicine.  Some of us have attitude problems so we have a go-to nerve medicine!  The older I get, the fuller my medicine box gets!  Aches and pains get more frequent.  Sleep?  What's that?  Attitude problems?  Well, I've always had that.  Can't blame that on age.  Why medicate it, since it's part of who I am, right?  If I took a pill every time I wanted to lock someone in my trunk in a rolled up carpet, I would probably be too medicated to drive to the edge of town.

Okay, so some of us have real serious issues that we have to take medicine for every day.  If you know me, you know that I have Crohn's Disease so I have to take anti-inflammatory medicines every day.  Believe me, that anti-inflammatory is not my favorite medicine.  The pills are large.  I have to take 3 at the time.  I have to take it 3 times a day.  I don't even catch a buzz from taking so many pills a day!! What fun is that?  I mean, really.  Who wants to be full of pills and not feel good?

Some of you have probably never taken a nerve pill.  Ever!  Ever!  So, what are you waiting for?  I see these people every day.  These are the people who go crazy over having to wait in a line for 2 minutes.  These are the people who have road rage.  All of us medicated people are just chillin' in the back of the line.  We don't care if it is going to take 30 seconds for the cashier at McDonald's to get us a cheeseburger.  We will get it when we get it.  We are not huffing and puffing in traffic and screaming at other drivers.  No.  We are just waiting in traffic and singing to the radio.  Yep.  We are those people.  Happy, Happy, Happy!!!

Okay, so don't be judging people who take meds to feel better, stay calm or relax.  If you have to drink coffee or smoke cigarettes, you know how we feel!!  Now, I hope you all have a great day!! Don't forget to get your prescriptions refilled.  We don't need you walking around like that!!

Lesson #15,081-Happy New Year, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda

So it's a new year!  2013!!  What are you so happy about?  Is it that you are glad that 2012 is over and you feel like turning over a new leaf?  This year we are gonna lose weight and smile more and travel more and whatever your resolution is.  But what are we so happy about?  I mean, why do we go out and have a party and celebrate?  Your car just depreciated a few thousand dollars.  You're getting another year older this year.  Your taxes are coming due.  So what are we so happy about?  Maybe it's because we are optimistic that this year is gonna be better than the last.  I sure hope so.  I hope that all of your dreams come true this year.  Whatever goal that you set for yourself or your family, I hope that you achieve it!  I wish for all of my readers health and happiness for the coming year. 

What can we do to stick to our resolutions this year?  What can we do to keep going to the gym in February when it is cold outside?  What can we do to make sure that we don't overextend ourselves financially this year?  What can we do differently from last year to make sure that we spend more time with our families and commit to our spouses and children to spend quality time together?  What can we do to make sure that we do for others this year?  Do we have a friend call us and make us go to the gym even when we don't want to?  Maybe.  Do we cut up our credit cards and only use them in emergencies?  Maybe.  Do we dare tell our children to remind us of our resolution to do more with them?  Maybe.  They will probably remind us of this when we just want to take a nap so maybe we just set a day every week to make sure that everyone is free on, say, Thursday night to sit down and have a meal together uninterrupted.  No cell phones.  No laptops.  No TV.  Nothing during dinnertime just once per week!!  Do we go ahead and call a charity and say put me down to help at least one day per month all year long?  We all get caught up in the daily grind.  We all get caught up in whatever is going on in our lives.  But this is a new year!!  So let's all rededicate ourselves to our families, our friends, our church, our organization, our health and finances or whatever you want to change this year!!  We can do this!!!!

Happy New Year, Everyone!!

Lesson #15,073-Yeah, I Better Get To Shopping!

Okay, so, we are what 2 weeks away from the big day and I have not bought one Christmas present yet.  I suppose I had better get on that immediately since I only have one week before school is out.  It is just overwhelming, ya know?  I mean, I went shopping last week but all I found was stuff for me.  People say that Christmas is about the giving and not the receiving but I say, "Blah, Blah, Blah".  It's really about me getting some new stuff for at least 40% off the regular price.  I spent $150 in GAP and "saved" $197.  See?? I saved money on myself!!!! If only my husband thought the same way that my GAP receipt does.  I say "But look, honey, I saved $197" and he spoils it by saying, "No, HONEY, you spent $150"!!  UGH!!! I don't even want to tell you what I "Saved" at J. Crew!! I'm tired of this "giving" thing!! I want to "receive"!!  What's wrong with that?  It's all about doing for others!! Puke!! Besides, I have to do all of the shopping so there is all of this temptation all around me in every store except Bass Pro Shops, no I take that back there's good stuff in there too!!  I have even been in Tractor Supply and found some cute rain boots!! That is a farm store for Pete's Sake!!! I cannot be trusted at a mall!! I cannot be trusted at TJ Maxx!! I cannot be trusted in a boutique!! A strip mall, a home goods store or even Costco!!

So, what is a shopaholic to do when I am supposed to be buying for others?  I suppose I could make a list and stick to it. (What fun is that?)  I could only shop in a discount store. (Where I don't shop for clothes or shoes.)  I could shop at Lowe's. (But they have nice stuff too!)  Maybe Internet shopping is the answer.  But gosh darn it they have "suggestions" for me on the side as soon as I look up an item and I do love those ceramic birds from One Kings Lane!!  How does this website know that I am a member of Beyond The Rack?  Yahoo knows EVERYTHING!!! Every time I turn on my computer and my homepage comes up they have suggestions on the side for me!! So I'm like reading the headlines of the day and BAM!! there is my favorite stuff from Pottery Barn on the side of the page.  It is all of the stuff that I put in my shopping cart just to see how much it would cost to redo my living room and wow, oh, wow I sure do want that white sofa with slip covers and those chevron pillows.  Oh sorry!! See I can't even write this blog without getting side tracked by shopping for ME!!

Okay, I've gotta go.  I've really got to shop for others now...I'll let you know tomorrow what I buy myself!!  Merry Christmas to me, From me!!