Lesson #150,159-Some Truths That Need To Be Said OUT LOUD!!

Some Truths That Need To Be Said OUT LOUD!!

Okay, so I am on my soapbox today.  Don't like it?  Don't Care.  There are some truths that need to be said out loud.

1.  Dear Hollywood, Your portrayal of Southerners is ridiculous.  Nobody really speaks that way.


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2.  While I am on Hollywood...All of you actors, singers, comedians, directors and producers, just do what you are good at and shut up about politics and religion.  Nobody cares what you think.  You live in LaLa Land and have no clue what is going on with real people.   Well, except for the Kardashians and you know that they are all "real" people.  I mean, why are they famous?  Because Kim made a sex tape with some guy?  Okay, well, there are plenty of housewives out at the baseball fields of America who have done the same thing.

3.  If you don't judge me, I won't judge you.  It's not my job to judge you and it's not your job to judge me.  If you are gay, drink alcohol or smoke a little pot once in a while, that's your business.  Unless you are endangering a child in some way, I'm gonna mind my own business.  If I know that you are high or drunk and are driving children around, then it will become MY business.  Call an Uber!!


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4.  Most Christians aren't homophobic, judgmental, angelic, perfect or boring.  Most of us realize that we are all sinners.  Some "sins", we just can't give up.  Sneaking a glass of wine or cocktail in a restaurant where none of your fellow church members are enjoying a meal?  Why?  God sees you. Why do you care what humans think?  Oh yeah, those Christians who think they are perfect.  There aren't many of you.  Reminds me of a joke.  What's the difference in a Baptist and a Methodist?  The Methodist will say hi to you in the liquor store.  And don't get me started on gossiping.  You don't want me to go there.  Most everyone is guilty of a little gossiping.  Or a lot.

5.  Most white people aren't racist.  Sorry Whoopi Goldberg and Al Sharpton.  It just isn't true.  I am a white, Southern woman and I am happy to say that my son was 10-years old before he ever heard the "N" word and it wasn't from his parents or at school.  He heard it while watching the movie "Forrest Gump".   I am fairly certain that I was younger than that when I heard it for the first time.  I'm not saying that racism is totally dead but don't think that I am racist because I am white.  I do community volunteer work and if you ask any person/family that I have helped if I treat any color differently, they will tell you "Absolutely Not"!!


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6.  All black people aren't thugs, deadbeat dads, on food stamps and angry.  The media portrays the black community as angry, violent, protesting gangs.  If I were part of the black community, I wouldn't be very happy about how I was being portrayed.  Are there gangs? Yes.  Are there deadbeat dads? Yes, but there are just as many deadbeat white dads.  Look up what Benjamin Watson has to say about race relations.  You can google it.

7. Not all parents, these days, are helicopter parents.  We are definitely more plugged into our children than our parents were, maybe because we can look up grades online and we know how competitive college can be these days, but we aren't all psychotic about grades and sports.  I'm not a helicopter parent but I do ask my son if he has done his homework or studied for a test.  I trust what he says and leave him alone about it.  He doesn't have to be the best in his class.  I don't expect perfection.  He doesn't have to be the best soccer player.  I'm not paying extra for personal training for a sport that only sees less than 1% of players ever play professionally.  Some parents out at the soccer field think their kid is going to be the next legend! Here's a little hint...He isn't!  All I ask from my son is that he tries his best.  If his best is a 90, then that's his best!!  If one goal in a season is his best, then that's his best!!

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8.  If you hate America, leave.  If I see you burning a flag, I will come after you.  You know that thing about minding my own business?  Well, that's out the window if you are burning a flag!!  There are plenty of people who want to come to America so feel free to leave if you don't love America. Our soldiers didn't fight battles against other countries so you would burn our flag, they fought so you would have the right to speak your mind and go home and know that soldiers from another country wouldn't be at your door trying to take your rights away.  You have the freedom to worship or not. You can own a firearm or not.  You can get an education.  You can work.  You can start a business. You have the freedom to vote for whomever you want.  You can even write in Mickey Mouse, if you so choose. (Mickey Mouse may do a better job than some of the clowns in Washington.) Oh and respect our veterans!! This is America.  The land of opportunity. If you don't love America, move to Iran. You will love it there!


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9.  If you don't believe the same thing that I do, just keep moving.  Don't try to argue with me to win me over to your way of thinking.  It won't work.  I believe in God.  If you don't, that is up to you.  I don't drive a Prius.  If you do, good for you.  I own guns.  If you don't agree that I should be able to own a firearm for protection, then you just call 911 and wait.  I believe in Capitalism.  Why?
Because with hard work and an education, we have gone from a trailer park to a two-story brick house on a quiet street. Nobody gave us anything.  People say "But you're just lucky" and my husband says "The harder he works, the luckier he gets".

10. Is everyone "offended" by something?  If you disagree with the President, you are "racist".  If you disagree with a person's lifestyle, you are "intolerant".  If you are a Republican, you are labeled as "ignorant",  "racist", "bigoted", "sexist", "closed minded" and my personal favorite is "redneck".  As a (mostly) Republican, I am "offended" by these labels.  I am not racist, intolerant, ignorant, bigoted or sexist.  I did grow up in a small town in South Carolina so I may show a little redneck occasionally but only when I am passionate about something!!  If you mess with my family, I WILL go Walmart on you!! Otherwise, No!!  Now, there is a difference in "redneck" and "white trash". Rednecks are often thought to be uneducated, Southern, white and rude.  I have found the opposite to be true.  A redneck will stop and help you change a flat tire in the rain.  White trash will drive right past you, honk the horn and laugh. White trash can drive a Maserati or a truck! I happen to know several black "rednecks".  They are not an urban legend! They are real.  You will see them at a Blake Shelton concert. (You know who you are, Nikki.)  You will see them fishing and driving big trucks.  I would venture to say that Cam Newton of the Carolina Panthers and the Alabama Crimson Tide, is a redneck.  He drives the most jacked up pickup truck you have ever seen! Anyway, People, stop being so sensitive!!  If a black person tells a joke about a white person (even me) I can take it!!  If I hear a joke about women drivers, I can take it!!  (I did scratch my car on a post once and I had to have my car towed out of a ditch once because I overshot a 3 point turn.)  Get a backbone. Grow thicker skin. Stop whining!! Geez, Louise!! We are raising a generation of wimps already. Most children can't fight a battle on their own anymore.  I got picked on in school for being short.  I still do.  You know what?  I don't care!!  If it offends you that I spanked my son when he was young, too bad.  We can compare my spanked child to your "time out" child any day! He may be in therapy someday but it won't be from popping him on the butt to get his attention.  He may be in therapy because of the dinner conversations with his parents and for being too honest about life and how the real world works but not because of a swat on his bum!!  I'm not easily offended.  Maybe that's why I am a happy person. #NotButtHurt


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Okay, so feel free to add to my list but these were the Top 10 pressing truths that needed to be said OUT LOUD!!  I have 10 more but I'm tired and don't feel like lecturing tonight so I'm done.

Lesson #150,158-When I Was a Kid...

150, 158-When I Was a Kid...

Okay, so when I was a kid, boy oh boy, were times very different.  No, we didn't have cell phones.  We had a phone in the kitchen with a 20 ft. cord so my Mom could cook dinner and talk on the phone at the same time.  It had a dial on it.  It was olive green.  It was the only phone in the house until I was about 10-years old and then there was one in the living room and my parent's bedroom.  Still had a dial on the phone though.  We didn't get "push button" phones until I was a teenager. 
 
We never had cable TV in my house growing up.  We lived out in the country and cable hadn't been buried out that far yet.  We had 4 channels.  NBC, ABC, CBS and an independent TV station, now a Fox station.  Sure, we could have gotten a satellite dish in the 80's but my Dad didn't see the sense in spending money on TV stations.

I didn't have cable TV until I went away to college.  Our dorm was equipped with FREE cable!!  I was so excited to have 20 channels!!  Funny thing was, we hardly ever watched TV in college and when we did we watched the same stations that I had always watched.

We didn't grow up with computers.  Windows were what we looked out of, not icons on our computer.  When we needed to do a report, essay, term paper or research, we had to go to the library and look it up in an encyclopedia.  In college, we used microfilm.  There was a card catalog in the library and we all knew how to use the Dewey Decimal System.  I bet if you asked a kid nowadays if they know what Dewey Decimal is, they would say "Who?". 

Once we  finished our research, we used typewriters to type our papers.  My roommate in college had her very own word processor.  It was awesome!!  It even had an eraser tape!!  Bye, Bye White Out!!  If she was using it, I had to go to the library and use a typewriter.  I didn't like using the typewriters.  I had to use White Out a lot!! 

I could never have imagined, in my wildest dreams, that 25 years later we would be so dependent on items that were not even available back then.  If I leave the house without my cell phone, I panic.  What did our parents do in carpool line rather than look at a phone and checking emails?  Oh, that's right.  They MADE us ride the bus!!  How did they know what to do all day long without constant texts from people telling us what to do next?  Oh, that's right.  They made a "To Do" list and went by that.  If it wasn't on the list, it didn't get done until the next day, when a phone call was made letting them know what to do.  What if a child was sick and a parent couldn't be reached at home or at work?  Oh, that's right.  We went to the nurses office and the nurse would tell us to suck it up until one of our parents could be reached or we would be sent back to class.  When we got home, if we forgot a book at school, that was just too bad.  My parents wouldn't drive back to the school to save my butt.  I should have remembered to bring all materials home with me.  What if I had left something at home that I had forgotten and didn't bring to school?  Same thing.  I got a big, fat ZERO on the assignment because my parents wouldn't bring it to me, the teacher wouldn't let us go to the office and use the phone to call home for it and the teacher wouldn't let us turn it in the next day.  If the assignment was due on Tuesday, it wouldn't be accepted on Wednesday.  No, my parents and teachers weren't terrible people.  That's just the way it was.  This would not go over well with today's helicopter parents!!!!

A "Tweet" was something that a bird did.  A "Post" was something that held up a fence or a sign.  A "Wall" wasn't something to write on.  (You would get into BIG trouble for that!!)  A "Feed" involved eating.  "Text" was something in a book that you probably didn't want to read.  A "Pin" was something to hem a skirt with.  A "Map" was something that was folded up in the glove compartment and you planned your trip by that map and you had better not miss a turn or you would drive 50 miles out of your way and have to stop at a gas station to figure out where you were supposed to turn.  A "Selfie", "FaceTime" and an "App" wasn't a thing.  We took pictures with a camera and had to wait 7 days to see if they were worthy of being "posted" in a picture frame.  We wrote letters.  We passed notes in class.  We waited for hours by the phone waiting for our boyfriends or a boy we liked to call us. (Back then girls didn't call boys!!)  Yahoo was something that cowboys would say.  Google was something that you did with your eyes.  If you wanted to know the weather, you had better watch the news at 6:00 or 11:00pm and you had to hope that the weatherman was right.  We didn't have spell check.  We had to learn how to write in cursive.  A "Snap Chat" would have been considered a quick talk.  If we wanted to hear a song, we had to call a local radio station and make a request.  Then we would record it on a cassette tape and hope that the DJ didn't talk over the beginning or the end.  A "flash drive" probably would have been someone "mooning" you as they drove past.  A "newsfeed" would have been the teleprompter that a newscaster would read on the news, which back then would have been cue cards.  Your "inbox" was your locker with a note stuck in the vents. 


I'm glad that I didn't grow up in a time when social media was a thing.  We had conversations with each other.  If we didn't like someone, we just didn't like them.  We didn't bash them on a "site" (which was a "place") for everyone to see.  We might pass a letter to them to let them know why we didn't like them but the entire world wouldn't be privy to our conversation. 

Wow.  Life sounds pretty darn primitive back then.  Yeah, I'm okay with that.  Life was much simpler back then.  Being plugged in 24/7 ain't what it's cracked up to be.  Just try to take a nap with your cell phone in the same room.  Impossible.

Lesson 15,150-Aging Parents

Okay, so I have entered a new chapter in my life.  It's the hard part of life that everyone will eventually face.  In our 40's, we have our own children and families to take care of, friends who are in need of support and the part of our lives where we have aging parents.  In the past couple of months, I have attended a few funerals of people who I never even knew but they were one of my friend's parents and I had to be there for my friends, while also taking care of my family and aging parent.  Some of us are blessed to still have parents that are in good health at 90-something and some of us have parents who are 60-something and in failing health. This is tough.  So, in between taking care of our families, we make time for our parents who are aging and make casseroles for friends who have lost a parent.  We drive our children to soccer practice and drop off a casserole.  We go to the grocery store and run an errand for a friend in need.  We go to the doctor because at 40+ our bodies are falling apart and we need mammograms and colonoscopies and start having blood pressure problems and then we go to our parents house and fill up their medicine boxes for the week.  We take our parents to the doctor and pick up kids from school.  Some days we don't even get our beds made because we have so many things to do.  Some of us work and still manage to find time to do all of these things and still make time to bake a cake for a friend.  It's almost humorous the things that we find time to do with everything going on.  We have to find humor in these crazy times in our lives.  Throw in a load of laundry, take a shower, put the clothes in the dryer, go pick up the kids, restart the dryer, help with homework, restart the dryer, cook dinner, restart the dryer, get the kids ready for bed, restart the dryer, take my nighttime meds, load the dishwasher and go to bed.  Wake up in the morning, restart the dryer, take the kids to school, restart the dryer, call you sick parent, finally fold the clothes in the dryer.

Some of us have elderly parents or elderly in-laws who live with us.  I have tried to get one of my friends to write a blog about her "Adventures With Mom" but she won't but boy does she have some good ones. You have to see her act out what her Mom does for it to be funny.  Her Mom is a hoot and she doesn't even realize it!! She is in her 80's so she lived through a lot of things in her life.  She has lived through lots of Presidents, wars, the Civil Rights era and Women's Lib.  She has probably washed clothes on a washing board and couldn't figure out how to use her daughter's high-tech washing machine.  She lived before TV's were in every room. She lived when there weren't phones in everyone's home and before cell phones.  She probably doesn't know how to turn on a computer.  She probably sat around a radio and listened to The Lone Ranger.  She probably listened to Frank Sinatra on a scratchy record player.  Her Mom has to be a tough to have lived this long but she is getting frail and needs supervision. Same thing with lots of our aging parents.

My Dad is in his early 70's and has health issues.  Everyone will tell you how sweet he is and how much they love him and he has tons of friends but if he needs something, he only wants his daughters there to take care of him.  Getting him to understand medical jargon is up to me.  Getting to understand his finances is up to my sister. He takes medicines which have side effects so he has to take another medicine for a side effect and then that medicine causes him to have another issue.  Tack on surgery to that and then there is another side effect and more medications to combat all of those side effects.  He gets dehydrated easily which effects his kidneys.  His kidney tests are high and he doesn't understand that because he has never had problems with his kidneys.  Then he takes a medication for diabetes and it has side effects on the kidneys. He has to take fluid pills and that has side effects on his kidneys.  His feet are swollen and he won't keep them propped up and argues with me when I try to explain that gravity is not his friend when he has fluid built up so he has to keep them elevated above his heart.  That just makes him angry to have to sit around with his feet propped up and sleep with his feet elevated.  Then he needs to eat more protein so he calls me every 2 hours to see if it is okay to eat something like peanut butter or bacon.  Salt isn't your friend when you have fluid overload but he likes bacon and he likes grits with salt so he's going do what he wants to do and then complains about the fluid!!!  "Well, Daddy, the swelling won't go down if you don't keep those feet up and lower your salt intake!!"  And at what age do you start counting your bowel movements every day?  "If you have one, Daddy, you're fine!!" If he has only one, he gets worried that he is constipated.  If he has three or more, he's worried that he has diarrhea.  So, I pray that he has 2 every day!!  I'm quite sure that I will do whatever I want to do when I am in my 70's!!  If I live to be 73, and I want bacon and my sodium level is high and I have fluid on my ankles, I am still going to eat bacon!!!  Then I am going to call my son and ask him why my feet are swelling!!

We have to find humor in our aging parents!!  We have to be there for our friends when a parent passes away.  Nothing meant more to me than looking over and seeing 2 rows of beautiful ladies at my stepmother's funeral.  (She was my Mom for 24 years. My Mom died in a car accident when I was 9-years old so Katherine was my mom for much longer than my real Mom.  Of course, I will always love my real Mom and Katherine because she treated me as her own.  She saw me graduate, get married and have my son. She wiped my tears when my heart got broken.  She gave me advice about life and she was always right!!!  Of course, I didn't think she was as smart as she really was until I was about 25-years old and then I realized that she wasn't stupid!!  She was right!!)  We have to be there for our family.  We drive kids hither and yon.  We help with impossible school projects.  We cheer for them at sporting events in the freezing cold and the scorching heat.  We have to keep the house and clothes clean, no matter how many times we restart the dryer.  We have to take care of our spouses.  We have to be there for our siblings. We have to be there for friends, family and loved ones.  We have to do things to better our community.  We have to make sure our children know that not everyone lives like they do.  There are people who have it way better and way worse.  That's Life!

This time of life is definitely the hardest. Being there for everyone is tough and sometimes a juggling act.  If you find time for a little exercise and a nap occasionally, don't be hard on yourself.  Take some time for you!!  I need a manicure and pedicure really bad so I am a little bit glad that it is winter because my toenails look horrid!!  My eyebrows look like a caveman and my wrinkles have not been Botoxed in quite some time!!  Sorry, I look like this but I've been taking care of  "My People"!!

Lesson #15,140-Types of Parents

Okay, so there are 101 types of parents out there but I'm gonna tell you about my favorites.

Helicopter Parents:  Helicopter parents are those who hover over their children.  They want to know everything that is going on in their children's lives.  They want to be a part of everything in their children's lives.  They want to fight their children's battles.  They want their child to be number one at everything.  These parents are really not doing their child any favors.  If we are a part of everything that our children do then they never learn how to cope with situations without our help.  Life doesn't work that way!!  Do I want to go and smack some kid that is mean to my child?  Sure, but I have to let my child learn to take care of himself.

Absentee Parents:  These are parents who think they are doing their children a favor by not being there for them when they do need them.  Sure, they may turn out to be independent adults but they need us for guidance and love while they are children.  Our children do need to be children and need to be able to have open dialogue with us when it comes to some subjects.  If you aren't talking to your child about sex, someone else is.  If you aren't giving your child love and affection, someone else will.  It may be from someone who doesn't care one bit about them either!!  The backseat of some guy's car isn't the place for love to be given.

"My Child is Perfect" Parents:  These are the parents who can "one up" your child's A+, your child's hole in one, your child's 3 point shot, your child's awesome soccer goal, your child's national championship wrestling medal, your child's triple back tuck!!  We all know them.  These parent's have the most perfect children that ever lived.  They make the best grades.  They are the best in sports. They are the most well behaved children.  They are the best looking or most beautiful children that were ever born.  I mean, we all think our child is the best looking and most beautiful children that we have ever seen but that's because they are ours!!  We just don't say it out loud!!!  These parents do!! UGH!! These are the most annoying parents EVER!!

"My Kid is The Worst" Parents:  These are the parents who never have anything positive to say about their children even when they are awesome kids!  Most kids have at least one redeeming quality but to these parents, it's never enough.  "So what if you scored 25 points in the basketball game?  You should have scored 30."  I think these are the most damaging parents.  I know what they are trying to do and that is living vicariously through their children but never telling your child that you are proud of them is damaging.

Angry Parents:  These parents are the ones who stir up more drama than a middle school girl could ever start!  Nothing is ever right with their children's teachers, their friends, their school, their dance instructor, their soccer coach and on and on and on.  These parents just need some Xanax!!  I can't even talk to these people!

Cool Parents:  These are the parents who want to be their children's best friend.  They let their kids talk any ole way to them.  They let their kids do anything they want to do.  The kids tell the parents what they are going to do instead of the other way around.  That is the tail wagging the dog!! I tell my son, all the time, that he has plenty of friends but only 2 parents.  I don't want to be his friend.  I want to be his mom!! That is a hard enough job!  He isn't going to tell me what to do, where we will go and how we should do things.  I drive this bus, Bubby, not you!  Don't get me wrong, I will talk to my son about anything that he wants to talk about but I am going to give him advice from a parent's perspective, not his friends.  No, he will not be allowed to drink in my home.  No, I won't be buying him cigarettes.  No, he will not be having girls up in his room.  When he goes away to college, I can't watch what he does but while he is in my home he will respect my rules.

Over-Protective Parent:  These are the parents that never let their child out of their sight except for school.  They won't let their children go to other people's houses EVER!  They won't let their child ride their bike down the street.  They won't let their children do anything.  This, to me, tells their child that they don't trust them at all and never will.  Kids have to have boundaries, I understand that, but we have to give them a little breathing room and a little privacy.

Okay, so what's a happy medium?  Every child is different.  We all have different parenting styles and philosophies.  I think we just need to give our children love, affection, attention, teach them right from wrong and be good examples for them as adults.  We weren't perfect when we were children so why expect our children to be? (Except for y'all "My Child is Perfect Parents". Y'all already have perfect kids!)  They will make mistakes and bad grades and fail to make a team and not score 30 points but we have to love them and guide them to do their best.  My son studied for a test, not too long ago, and failed the test.  He was afraid to tell me what grade he got.  When he finally told me, I asked if that was the test that he had studied for and he said it was so I told him that if that was the best he could do then that was the best he could do.  I told him that he needed to work harder for the next test and pull up his grade.  He got the highest grade in the class on the next test because he had to work harder and pull up his grade.  I am, by far, not perfect so why expect him to be?  Parenting is a hard job.  Do your best to raise good adults!

Lesson #15,138-Boston & Talking To Our Children

Okay, so by now we all have heard about what happened in Boston.  How do we explain this tragedy to our children? Some things are hard to explain or unexplainable.  This is one of them.  Our children are asking questions like "Who would do that?" and "Why would anyone do that?".  Our children do not understand hate.  They know that they "hate" broccoli or timeouts.  They know that they "hate" homework. They "hate" cleaning their rooms.  They certainly "hate" being sick.  They simply do not understand hating another person because they don't believe in the same things that they do.  That is a learned behavior.  Parents have to teach their children not to hate someone or a group of people for any reason.  We all have to teach Love!!  We have to teach our children that just because other people do not believe in the same things that we can exist together in this world.  But how do we explain what happened in Boston when a child was a victim?  This is my take on it:

1.  We have to sit our children down and tell them what happened if they are old enough to know what happened.  We tell them that something bad has happened and give them only details that they "NEED" to know.  I mean, we don't need to tell a 2-year old about the tragedy.  My son was almost 2-years old when 9/11 happened and he wouldn't have understood what I was trying to tell him.  He learned about it when he got older.

2.  Try not to dwell on it too much so we don't scare them into believing that it could happen to them, even though nobody is truly 100% safe from an attack  We had the news on and were listening to what had happened and after about an hour, my 13-year old son said "I've seen enough.  I need to watch something else".  He is old enough to verbalize his feelings but a 6-year old may not be able to say that they have had enough. 

3.  If your child is old enough for this to bother them, ask if they would like to talk about it.  Do this, especially, if you sense that it is on their mind. 

4.  Reassure them that they are safe and that they will be okay.  We have to comfort them even though we know that hate is all around us.  Don't lie to them and say that it could never happen where you live but do try to help them process what happened offering them comfort and keep your emotions in check.  We all were shocked, upset and angry about what happened but we cannot let our emotions be transferred to our children.

5.  If you believe in God, pray together for the injured and for the families and friends of the people who were killed.  If you choose, pray for the people who did this, that God would soften their hearts.  That they would feel love for their fellow man and not hate.

6.  Show them how the people came together and offered their help.  If you watch the video of the events, you will see police, firemen, paramedics, EMTs, National Guard and regular people coming together to help the injured.  They ran toward the blast, not away from it.  Talk about the heroes in this tragedy.  The men and women who were hurt but helped the people who were injured much worse.  The doctors and nurses in the hospitals who worked overtime to make sure that every patient was taken care of because that was the right thing to do.  Nobody asked the victims if they were democrats or republicans, gay or straight, black or white, young or old.  They simply helped.  During times of tragedy, we come together as Americans and Human Beings.  Compassion was shown and that is an important trait of Americans and Human Beings.  There are more good than evil people in this world, even though we may think otherwise sometimes.  This is a good time to talk about empathy for their fellow man.

As parents, we have a hard job.  Events such as this makes our jobs even harder.  Be patient with your children as they come to you with questions.  Be patient with their emotions.  Remember that we, as parents, do not understand this so our children, certainly, do not. 

Lesson #15,132-Are Children Happier Than Adults?

Okay, so I have been thinking about why children seem so happy.  For the most part, they are happy people.  I mean they get angry, sad and scared just like adults do but they seem to get over negative emotions more quickly than adults do.

Could it be because children get to play with toys?  I mean toys are very distracting.  Even a very mad baby will sometimes stop crying when they hear a rattling toy.  Maybe adults need distractions to keep us happy.  You thought I was going to say adults need toys, didn't you?  Actually, some adults do have toys!! (Not those toys!)  I mean motorcycles!!  4-wheelers!!  Golf clubs!!  I am positive that I have never seen an adult crying on a motorcycle, 4-wheeler or with a golf club in their hand.  Maybe we all need to find a toy that makes us happy!

Could it be because children aren't jaded by life.  When children are small, they don't care what color a playmate is.  They don't care if the child is chubby or skinny, short or tall, rich or poor.  Anyone who will play is just fine with them.  They don't care if they are dirty.  They don't care if they have clean clothes on.  They don't know if they are wearing designer clothing. They hold no prejudices.  They don't know about social status.  Adults could learn a thing or two from this.

Could it be because they have short attention spans?  They can be crying and angry and a few minutes later they are laughing and seem to have not a care in the world.  If we all could forget our troubles as quickly as children do, we would be happier people.  Maybe it is because children take naps!! Everyone should take occasional naps!!

Could it be because children like colorful things?  If you look around my house, you will see a lot of drab colors that we call "neutrals".  If you look at my clothing, you will see a lot of black and gray.  I have a spot of orange, green and blue here and there but mostly drab colors.  If you look at my sons closet, there are very colorful shirts in his stack.  Green, orange, blue, yellow, red, lots and lots of red!!  Maybe I should wear more colors!!  Also his bedroom and playroom has colorful items on the walls.  Maybe I should hang colorful items on the walls all over the house.  Then maybe we would all be happier people.

Could it be the obvious?  Children don't worry about money.  Mom and/or Dad pays the bills.  If the power is turned off, they don't care.  They love playing with flashlights! If the rent isn't paid, they get to move into a new room.  They get excited about that!!  If someone else would pay our bills, maybe we would be happier.  Okay, yes, we would be happier people.

Let's all agree to find a toy to play with, not be so judgmental, forget about our troubles, be more colorful and find someone to pay our bills!!  Okay, maybe we have to pay our own bills but maybe we should take the other lessons from children and relax and enjoy life and we will find more happiness.

Lesson #15,122-When I Was A Kid...

Okay, so we all think that we either had it easier or much worse than our children do.  I say it all of the time. "When I was a kid, we only had cartoons from 6am to noon on Saturday morning."  "When I was a kid, we used to play outside all day long."  "When I was a kid, we didn't have video games."  "When I was a kid, our parents used to spank us."  "When I was a kid, our principal could paddle us."  "When I was a kid, I didn't have a TV in my room."  "When I was a kid, we didn't have cable TV."  "When I was a kid, if you wanted to hear a song you had to call the radio station and request the song."  Lucky for me that my dad owned the radio station so the DJ knew that they had to play the song next or Daddy would not be happy!!  Other kids had to wait their turn.  Then we had to record the song on a cassette tape.  You just hoped that the DJ didn't talk through the beginning of the song or cut off the end! "When I was a kid, we read actual books!" "We had to actually "dial" our phones." "We didn't even have ranch dressing, for goodness sake!!"

When I was a kid, I used to listen to my parents say "When I was a kid, I used to walk to school, up hill both ways, in the snow, without shoes on."  "When I was a kid, I used to get up at 5am to chop kindling for the fire every morning during the winter."  "When I was a kid, we didn't have TV so we used to sit by the radio and listen to The Lone Ranger at night."  "When I was a kid, I had to pick cotton until my fingers bled."  "When I was a kid, my school was a one room classroom with a fireplace to keep us warm."

So, what will our kids say?  "When I was a kid, our computers had actual keyboards and screens instead of holograms."  "When I was a kid, my cell phone could only call people, play games and music on it."  "When I was a kid, we had Xbox with games on HUGE disks!"  "When I was a kid,  I warmed up macaroni and cheese in a microwave oven and it took 3 1/2 minutes!  Now it takes 3 seconds!"  "When I was a kid, we had to brush our own teeth!"  "When I was a kid, we had real pets that you actually had to feed."  "When I was a kid, my mom actually cooked. Now we just have to swallow a pill to survive."  "When I was a kid, we had to travel in cars, not hovercraft." 

I used to always say that God knew which century to put me in because I would have died if I wouldn't have had air conditioning, running water and reality TV.  My grandmother is 96-years old and she remembers riding in a horse drawn wagon.  I suppose if you've never had something, you don't miss it.  In 100 years, other humans will think that we lived like the pioneers.  Wonder what they will have that we don't?  Will life be so much easier that we actually are living like pioneers now?  Are we really savages?  Are we living in the dark ages?  I guess only time will tell. 

Lesson #15,103-I Had To Ask!!

Okay, so I asked a question on my Facebook page.  The question that I asked was "What did your Mama use to whoop your butt with?".  The number one answer was a hairbrush!!  I was shocked!  Being from The South, I was certain that the number one answer would be a flip flop!!  If you have ever been swatted with a flip flop, you know what that sting feels like.  Some of us got swatted with a fly swatter.  Some of us got swatted with a wooden spoon.  Some of us just got a regular ole swat with the hand!!  Either way, we all got whooped!!  Not one person said "My Mama didn't whoop me" or "I got Time Out when I was a kid".  Nope, not one person!! 

Why is it that none of us ever got "Time Out"?  I can tell you why!!  These kids nowadays have a darn (800) number to call if they get whooped!  Why didn't we have an (800) number to call?  I mean, my Mama pulled her car over on the side of the road and whooped my butt right there on the highway!  She didn't try to hide the fact that she was whooping me!  She didn't wait until we got home.  She did it right there in public!  On the side of the road!!  Of course, I don't think I ever sassed her again.  I knew better.

My husband told me a story about when he was young and he and his brothers were fighting in the car.  His Dad had enough of the boys being loud and trying to kill each other so he pulled the car over on the highway and made all of them get out and he drove away.  Luckily, his Mother was in the car and after about 15 minutes she made his Dad go back and pick them up!  My husband wasn't raised here in The United States but he said that they didn't have an (800) number to call either! 

These kids today are so lucky to have that (800) number!!  I have a feeling that if we all had that (800) number when we were kids, none of us would have had any parents!!  We all would have been raised by Foster Parents!  Okay, so I am not talking about real abuse.  I am talking about a few pops on the rear end when we deserved it.  Honestly, I can remember just the fear of the paddle that hung in the office of the school keeping me out of trouble.  We used to hear rumors about being paddled by the principal at school.  I remember hearing the "horror" stories.  Someone said that the paddle had holes in it.  This was supposed to make it sting more because it could travel faster through the air on the way to your butt!!  There was also a rumor about how the principal would wet the paddle to make it sting against your skin.  I swear that I only remember one person ever getting a paddling in school but his stories were so scary that the rest of us behaved ourselves in class so we didn't have to get paddled!!

So, what did your Mama or Daddy whoop you with??  Did you ever get paddled in school??  Can y'all believe that I never got paddled in school?  That's probably what's wrong with me today!! 

Lesson #15,067-Carpool Baby!!

Yep!! Carpool.  It can be a blessing and a curse.  It saves time, money, gas, the environment, traffic congestion and frees up time for everyone who carpools.  It is the best thing ever when it is not your day or time to drive!!  If you have a usual carpool for school then someone either drives every day for a week, drives every morning or afternoon or you have some other schedule that works for everyone.  A carpool has to be fair to everyone.  For after school activities, usually one mom or dad will drop off the kids at the activity and another mom or dad will pick up.  This frees up some time for everyone. 

I tell you what.  I have gotten to know some kids and some good middle school gossip driving carpool.  If it is my usual school carpool.  The mornings are pretty quiet because the kids are still half asleep.  If it is afternoon, I get to hear what happened at school all day.  I can usually tell you who got in trouble, who had silent lunch, who broke up with their boyfriend or girlfriend and all other middle school drama.  Well, all of the drama that middle school boys are aware of.  They are pretty clueless about drama but sometimes they catch the tail end of a conversation about something going on and can give you the play by play.  But driving the soccer team to practice or picking them up from practice, WOW!! Driving Mama gets an education!!  Sometimes Driving Mama has to do the educating.  This DM got an education about how young middle school boys are when they start having "boners".  Yes, one of the boys that I had just picked up from soccer practice said, "I've got a boner!"  I mean, what do you say to that?  Yep, SILENCE.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am rarely speechless but all you heard were crickets chirping. 

When there is the carpool feud  you have to hear, "Mom, I don't want to carpool with Leonard anymore!!"  "I hate him!!"  "He is so mean."  That is a big ole con to the carpool.  Another con is if you are the one to have to pick up kids from anything, they will likely not smell as fresh as they did when you dropped them off.  School pick up is not too bad but soccer, basketball, football or any other sport pick up can be very smelly.  I have threatened about 7 different 10-13-year olds within an inch of their lives if they take off their cleats in my car.  KEEP THE SMELL INSIDE THE SHOE UNTIL I GET YOU TO YOUR HOUSE!!  Boys smell like ass and sweat when you pick them up from practice or games so the "shoe on" rule applies in my car.  Now I wish my car had some sort of armpit rule.  I haven't figured out how to keep the armpits from being smelly yet.

Funny story about how smelly my car can be.  I had 4 smelly boys in my car and was dropping off the first one at his house.  His dad was out in the yard and came over to the car to say hello.  He came over to the passenger side of my car and stuck his head in the window and said "Hello" and then took a breath and abruptly removed his head from the window.  He then began questioning who was the stinky one and what had died in his shoes.  Honestly, I could not pinpoint who was the stinkiest!! Everyone got a shower before bed that night, I am sure of that!!

Anyway, there are more pros than cons to carpooling so I'm gonna keep doing it.  I just hope that I don't get educated or have to give education to any more little boys about subjects that would make their daddies blush!!  I have explained more than I care to list here in not-so-medically-appropriate terms to a carload of boys who asked me questions that they did not want to ask their parents.  Look, if you are crazy enough to allow your child to carpool with me, your child is going to be exposed to bad words and will have their questions answered unless I have no idea about what they are talking about.  I will set them straight about things that they are wrong about.  I will scream at them if they are too loud or being obnoxious little whiny butts.  Oh and I call it like I see it. If you don't like it, find someone else to carpool with.  I probably don't want your Rugrat riding along anyway!!

Go Green-Carpool!!