Well, my house was great and then I got the new Pottery Barn and Restoration Hardware catalogs. Now I need new duvet covers, drapes and towels. Oh and rugs. I hate my rugs. Well except for the one tapestry rug that I own. You know? The one rug in my house that the cats throw up on? One rug!!! One!!! Every time!!! I mean these cats will run from upstairs with vomit about to spew from their ears to throw up on this rug. They know that it is my one nice rug. Otherwise, they would throw up on the hardwood floors or bathmats. I have high maintenance cats. That's what it is. My cats are high maintenance!! Anyway, now I need all new stuff!
Then I start looking at Crate & Barrel and Pier One and now I know how much I need to replace my china, flatware and all of my different glasses. Maybe I could give my china to my cats!! Ya know? Since they know the good stuff. Oh and I need some new table cloths and place mats for the cats to lay on.
Then I get tons of clothing catalogs and I begin to hate all of my clothes. I need this and I need that!! More jeans. More tops. More sweaters. More shirts. Another winter coat. New belts and scarves. You get my drift, right?
Oh and I get Home Decorators and Ballard Design. I need all new home decor. My pictures are not as cute as theirs. My picture frames are dated. My knick knacks are old and dusty and my lamps aren't glamorous enough. I need some more fabulous down pillows for my couch. Oh and my couch!! It needs replacing!! There are some great ones in these catalogs. Love the ones with tan ticking. Oh sorry! I spaced on the new couches and pillows again!!
I got this catalog today called Grandinroad. Now I need new decorations for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas!! All of mine suck! They have a Christmas mantel scarf that is so stinking cute!! Oh and real looking mummies for Halloween!!! What am I going to do?? I don't have this kind of money!! I may have to put off my Botox this month. Oh who am I trying to kid? I'm not doing that!!
Then I look at Pinterest. My entire house sucks!! I give up!! Never ever, ever look at Pinterest!! You may as well live in a tent because there are actually people with limestone floors, marble counter tops and loggias with views of the infinity pools.
Okay, blog readers, thank you for reading my crazy rant but now I cannot live in my house. I will do my next blog from my car...
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